Reading glasses & vanity

[Number57]

This is troubling -

Backstory: my ex recently got prescription glasses at the age of 36. Cool, she can drive better now. So she picked out a very fashionable pair of frames for her prescription, I told her they looked great, and I assumed that was that.

[Number57]

Advance a few months, to last week. I'm with my ex shopping for birthday presents for our daughter, who is to turn 11 the next day.

We stop at Target... and at the front of the store, they have their 'Dollar Bin' or whatever. My ex immediatly started digging into one of the bins, saying something about this item being great for a Christmas stocking stuffer.

I realize she's sorting through reading glasses. My daughter has perfect vision, so far as I know.

I ask my ex if our daughter needs glasses to read. No, she said, she just likes them. Why? She says our daughter has wanted a pair since my ex got her first pair.

Now I'm dumbfounded. Is my ex that stupid?

As she is sorting through the reading glasses (mangnification of all sorts on there... all for a buck a pair!!), I tell her our girl has no need for glasses, and I don't think its a good idea anyway, since prolonged wearing of reading glasses by people who don't need them (especially when reading!) will result in damage to the eyes (boiled-down version).

She slapped the pair she had been looking at back into the reading glasses bin and strode off with the shopping cart, not responding to me.

Now - she's already told me that my daughter has a pair. I know I have to either covertly get rid of them, or try and reason with my 11-year old daughter (easier than with the ex, most times). I'm leaning towards the latter, obviously.

But the most troubling thing to me is that my ex would feed a young girl's desire to be 'fashionable' without a single thought to what would happen to our kid's eyesight in the long run (she loves to read).

I guess this is just a rant, because I know what to do about it. But man - I normally have mega respect my ex, but this blew me away.

I dunno. Bizarre. Like putting braces on a kid who has no need for them. Only that won't hurt their smile in the long run.

[neodad]

I thank God every day that my ex is my ex.

[cripplecreek]

If your daughter doesn't need the glasses she could damage her eyes by wearing them. I suppose you could have a doc write up a letter to explain it to your ex.

[JustaDumbBlonde]

And you are telling us this ... why?

[Number57]

So you don't hear it from someone else?

[Number57]

That's what I tried telling the ex. She's smart, she really is... but she's dumb.

And did I mention she's a raging liberal?

[JustaDumbBlonde]

Thank goodness, 'cause if I had heard it from someone else first, who knows ...

Why not suggest to your ex (or do it yourself) going to an eyeglass store and getting your daughter some nice glasses with no prescription.

[leda]

our 11 yr old has worn glasses since 2nd grade. he's been
begging! for contacts for a few years now. gotta hold off
a bit until he's a tad more responsible and til his eyes
are more stable (not changing as much).

[bjcintennessee]

Check the magnification of your daughter's glasses -- with any luck, they're just plain glass.

But you are right, wearing any magnification when you don't need it, will assure that you will need glasses sooner rather than later.

(You might also try waiting your daughter out -- chances are, this is a passing fancy and she'll get tired of the hassle on her own. If not, then "accidentally" misplace the things.)

[Number57]

Why not suggest to your ex (or do it yourself) going to an eyeglass store and getting your daughter some nice glasses with no prescription.

Because those don't cost a dollar.

Also, at that point, I will be asked to share the cost of vanity glasses, and I won't be a part of something so retarded and mundane; not to mention it would be damaging to my daughter's sense of self-worth in the long run. She's quite beautiful without facial accessories.

[ecomcon]

I guess you need to get a pair.

Of glasses.

[George Smiley]

ecomcon

Seven Days in May.

Great book.

[JustaDumbBlonde]

"I won't be a part of something so retarded and mundane"

Hmmm ... about 15 minutes too late for that!

[JustaDumbBlonde]

"I guess you need to get a pair."

I don't care who you are ... that's damn funny!

[Number57]

Hmmm ... about 15 minutes too late for that!

Really? How have I been a part of it?

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

Lasix vision.

[JustaDumbBlonde]

1 posted on 09/15/2006 8:43:38 PM PDT by Number57

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[cripplecreek]

What a strange thread.

Thailand?

[Number57]

Touch'e

G'night, lol

[BruceysMom]

If I hadn't read anything else you wrote I would know by this post that you are a guy. LOL! That's not a bad thing but you have no concept of how 11 year old girls desire to be fashionable. Some are bulimic, some are anorexic, some are engaging in sex in order to feel popular and grown up. Save your energy for the big stuff, help buy a pair of frames with no prescription. It won't hurt you, and you will have peace with your ex and the adoration of your daughter. ( I'm sure she loves you very much but there is a difference between "I love my dad" and "my dad is sooo cool") Best wishes!

[JustaDumbBlonde]

Uh huh.

[Rte66]

"Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."

That oughta work.

[Netizen]

not to mention it would be damaging to my daughter's sense of self-worth in the long run.

Why would non prescriptive glasses be damaging to your daughter's self-worth?

[elkfersupper]

I would suggest that you make your ex your ex and quit playing these games.

[fogey]

>That's what I tried telling the ex. She's smart, she really is... but she's dumb.

And did I mention she's a raging liberal?<

That would explain it.

She's not capable of seeing anyone else's point of view.

[grame]

I can still remember being 17 and thinking glasses would make me look better. I only wore them when I didn't have to read anything. They were such a nusance it wore off after a while. When I was in my later 30's and had to have glasses, I was constantly misplacing them because I didn't like to wear them.

Teenage girls do lots of things they think will help their appearance. Something new will come and the glasses will go.

[jocon307]

Let your daughter get some plain glass glasses, no magnification. I'm sure she'll get tired of them eventually. But of course correction where there is no need for it can't be good.

[jwh_Denver]

"Something new will come and the glasses will go."

Like acne?

[grame]

Well, she didn't ask for a belly ring, tattoo, or something worse. Someone else I think said 'Pick your battles'. and I agree. This is one you can say yes to. The older she gets the more difficult the battles become. My husband wondered one time if we couldn't just lock the door, slide her food under and wait til she was 21 to open it. He was joking but some days, hormones, acne, boys, tests, parents and all the rest can add up to much time spent on your knees asking for wisdom.

[jwh_Denver]

I know this, that I have no idea how to raise a teenage girl. Beyond any rational thought would drive me nuts. Got a good chuckle about your husband's idea. Like something out of the Twilight Zone, what will come out? That would worry me big time.

[grame]

Well, it is worth it to hang in there and keep her headed in the right direction. My daughter is a beautiful young woman with a husband and four precious children of her own. Don't give up, because a young girl and a teenage girl need the encouragement, affection, and love of a father. If she doesn't get it from you, she will look lots of other places. Maybe even a date night, just the two of you once a month, then she will know how a boy is supposed to treat her. It is a big investment, but it pays really big dividends in the end. The glasses is an easy thing. Maybe you could buy her a classy red pair.

[Cagey]

We're behind you, Aquaboy. Godspeed!

[muir_redwoods]

If looking through lenses hurts your eyes, why aren't astronomers blind?

[grame]

0k, so some days I'm slower than others. Today is one of them. I thought you were the one who wrote the original request. Sorry if my response was confusing.

[grame]

ok, again. please see post #34, because obviously it is past my bedtime. I sent it to myself instead of you.

[Number57]

"If looking through lenses hurts your eyes, why aren't astronomers blind?"

Are you that naive?

Why aren't people who wear glasses, blind?

[muir_redwoods]

""If looking through lenses hurts your eyes, why aren't astronomers blind?"

Are you that naive? "

I believe that was the obvious point I was making.

Talk about naive

[ShadowDancer]

Maybe even a date night, just the two of you once a month, then she will know how a boy is supposed to treat her.

That's a wonderful idea, I'm going to suggest it to my husband. Of course by suggest I mean I'm going to make him do it. Hahahaha

[NittanyLion]

Wearing glasses that are too strong will not permanently damage your daughter's eyes, notwithstanding the responses here. However, it will cause her to have headaches, dizziness, etc. So while you still have the issue to deal with, at least you can set your mind at ease WRT to eye damage.

[grame]

I believe I originally heard this on a Dobson program, but i could have read it. I even tried it with my boys, especially my youngest. Any investment in a relationship is not wasted regardless of how it comes out at the time.

May God bless your husband's efforts and your encouragement of them.

[Number57]

I've sent her this link:

http://www.allaboutvision.com/over40/readers.htm