This story reminds me of Monty Python's The Cricket Match (Episode #45)
Commentator
Warwickshire had dismissed the Kalahari Batsmen for 140, and then it was their turn to face this extraordinary Kalahari attack. Pratt was the first to go, but Pratt and Pratt put on a second wicket stand of nought, which was broken by Odinga in his most hostile mood.
A compilation of the day's play. Natives in normal cricket gear. Pratt at crease as per usual cricket coverage. Cut to a low shot of the bowler thundering up towards the wicket. Cut away to the batsman preparing to take the shot. Cut back to the bowler. As he reaches the crease he produces a spear and raises it to shoulder height and hurls it. Cut to batsman who is hit full in the stomach. His bat dislodges the bails. There is a 'howzat' from all the native fielders. He makes an annoyed gesture as if he were Colin Cowdrey caught clean bowled, and sinks to the ground.
CAPTION: 'B. PRATT'
Voice Over
Thats B. Pratt, hit wicket - 0. But Pratt and Z. Pratt dug in and took the score to a half... (cut to the new batting partnership; B. Pratt's body is still on the ground) before Z. Pratt ran away. (Z. Pratt reaching the pavilion, running with a hail of spears and arrows coming after him) But out came M.J.K. Pratt... (cut to M.J.K. Pratt coming out pulling on gloves etc.) to play a real captain's innings. (he reaches the crease and takes guard, the bowler bowls) He'd taken his own score up to nought when he mistimed a shot of Bowanga and was lbw. (a huge spear sticks right through the lower part of his leg; they appeal and he turns and limps manfully off)
CAPTION: 'M.J.K. PRATT'
Voice Over
Typical of Umbonga's hostile opening spell was his dismissal of V.E. Pratt, who offered no resistance to this delivery... (cut to native bowler bowling a machete; it hits the ground and does a leg spin up, slicing off the batsman's head as he waves his bat) ... and he was caught behind.
The batsman's severed head lands in the wicket keeper's gloves. He throws it in the air with a flourish.
CAPTION: 'V.E. PRATT'
Presenter
But by lunch the situation had changed dramatically.
Voice Over
(and CAPTION:)
'C.U. PRATT KILLED OUTRIGHT, BOWLED ODINGA - 0.
P.B.T.R. PRATT LEGS OFF BEFORE WICKET, BOWLED ODINGA - 0.
B.B.C.T.V. PRATT ASSEGAI UP JACKSEY, BOWLED UNBOKO - 0.
Z. PRATT MACHETE BEFORE WICKET, 'BOWLED UMBONGA - 0.
M.J.K. PRATT STUMP THROUGH HEAD, BOWLED UMBONGA - 0.
V.E. PRATT RAN AWAY - 0.
P.D.A. PRATT RETIRED HURT - 0.
W.G. PRATT RETIRED VERY HURT - 0.
PRATT DIED OF FRIGHT, BOWLED ODINGA - 0.
Y.E.T.A.N.O.T.H.E.R. PRATT NOT OUT BUT DREADFULLY HURT- 139.'