In honor of Thanksgiving and a 4-day Weekend for a lot of us, I hope you'll join me. Come in and have some fun, share your Thanksgiving/family stories.
Turkey Quiz - what do you know about Turkey?
Posted on 11/22/2006 7:38:31 AM PST by Lucky9teen
In honor of Thanksgiving and a 4-day Weekend for a lot of us, I hope you'll join me. Come in and have some fun, share your Thanksgiving/family stories.
Turkey Quiz - what do you know about Turkey?
Turkeys have heart attacks. When the Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier, fields of turkeys would drop dead. Turkeys can drown if they look up when it is raining. Eat, sleep, gobble
Turkeys spend the night in trees. They fly to their roosts around sunset. Turkeys fly to the ground at first light and feed until mid-morning. Feeding resumes in mid-afternoon. Gobbling starts before sunrise and can continue through most of the morning. Eyes in the backs of their heads?
A wild turkey has excellent vision and hearing. Their field of vision is about 270 degrees. This is the main reason they continue to elude some hunters. And they're fast, too!
A spooked turkey can run at speeds up to 20 miles per hour. They can also burst into flight approaching speeds between 50-55 mph in a matter of seconds. So close, yet so far
Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be a turkey.
Hey Turkey's....over here
we saw an entire flock of turkeys last month up at our cabin.
the turkey i'm watching today is a lil 5 yr old missy with strep. :(
Some of the more popular toys this year...
I love the scene in the movie "Son In Law" where Pauly Shore is pushed into the pen with the turkey and upon screaming, the turkey falls over, apparently dead.
Happy Thanksgiving to all. I get off in 10 minutes, and the weather is really sloppy here in Norfolk (that's the understatement of the year). I may or may not check back in when I get home. Daughter has early release from school today, and I pick her up at 1:00.
Maybe it would be good to tell of your Thanksgiving plans.
I'm not going out of town this year, been invited to my cousin's in Va Beach for the feeding. Then shopping on Friday and working on the house Saturday.
Can't fish, the bay has 10 to 12 foot waves (minimum).
LMAO! I want mine!
My husband is out learning how to be a truck driver, so he won't be home for Thanksgiving...but my kids and I are going to my moms for the day and my brother and his family will be there. I'm sure it'll be relaxing...
Friday we're planning on going to that new sporting good store Cabelas, I guess it's a museum as well, with lots of stuffed animals and cool things to check out. My mom tells me my boys will love it, so we'll see.
Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then, in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
He says into the microphone, in a deep solemn voice..."Just for a moment, think outside of yourself...
Outside this arena... Every time I clap my hands, ...a child in Africa dies."
A loud Irish voice from near the front pierces the moment..."Well, ya stupid arse, stop yer fockin' clappin', then!"
10 Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving But Aren’t
10. Reach in and grab the giblets.
09. Whew! That’s one terrific spread!
08. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
07. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.
06. Talk about huge breasts!
05. “And he forces his way into the end zone!”
04. She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.
03. It’s Cool Whip time!
02. If I don’t unbuckle my pants, I’m going to burst!
01. It must be broken, ’cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out.
How to Cook a Turkey (R)
Joke Submitted By: Anonymous
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
Things to Do to Liven Up Thanksgiving Dinner (PG)
Joke Submitted By: Anonymous
1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen,
toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the
table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss
Shake.
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful
for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to
say anything more.
3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the
VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last
two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn
off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.
4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive
conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you
they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration
date. You were worried for nothing."
Thanksgiving plans...We're going over to the in-laws. At 10 am. We're going to be there ALL DAY. And then, on Black Friday, I get to take the Aunt who hates me Christmas shopping. I'm so filled with thanksgiving spirit that I could just poop. :-(
No "Hank" this year?
Oh, there will always be a Hank. :-) We're going to cook him overnight and bring him along. I'm sure he'll enjoy Thanksgiving with us.
Assuming we can find a store that still has big pig pieces in stock... Mr. legs put off his shopping till today.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Things you can only say at Thanksgiving...
01. Talk about a huge breast!
02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
03. It's Cool Whip time!
04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
05. That's one terrific spread!
06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
07. Are you ready for seconds yet?
08. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
Are you still "with child"?
Top Ten Signs You’ve Eaten Too Much
Written on November 9th, 2006 by Deer Hunter
10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.
9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s axis.
7. Right this minute you’re laughing up pie on the carpet.
6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.
5. World’s fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to “back off!”
4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.
3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.
2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.
1. You’re sweatin’ gravy.
Subject: Honda video - Read the text first
ok so it's not a Volvo
To understand what you are seeing, read this Intro first then watch the video clip
Everything you see really happened in real time exactly as you see it. The film took 606 takes. On the first 605 takes, something, usually very minor, didn't work. They would then have to set the whole thing up again. The crew spent weeks shooting night and day. By the time it was over, they were ready to change professions. The film cost six million dollars and took three months to complete including full engineering of the sequence. In addition, it's two minutes long so every time Honda airs the film on British television, they're shelling out enough dough to keep any one of us in clover for a lifetime.
However, it is fast becoming the most downloaded advertisement in Internet history. Honda executives figure the ad will soon pay for itself simply in "free views" (Honda isn't paying a dime to have you watch this commercial!).
When the ad was pitched to senior executives, they signed off on it immediately without any hesitation - including the costs.
There are six and only six hand-made Honda Accords in the world. To the horror of Honda engineers, the filmmakers disassembled two of them to make the film. Everything you see in the film (aside from the walls, floor, ramp, and complete Honda Accord) is parts from those two cars.
The voiceover is Garrison Keillor. When the ad was shown to Honda executives, they liked it and commented on how amazing computer graphics have gotten. They almost fell off their chairs when they found out it was for real. Oh, and about those funky windshield wipers. On the new Accords, the windshield wipers have water sensors and are designed to start doing their thing automatically as soon as they become wet.
Isn't it nice when things just work?
It will keep playing over and over so just stop it when you've seen it enough times.
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I’ll tell you at Christmas
oo-rah!
As opposed to being "with kitten"? ;-)
Yup, still pregnant. I don't anticipate any relief on that front till January...
Boy, ain't that the truth...
Aw, I love that picture so much. :-)
Thanks
I laughed.. I cried.. it moved me Lucky9teen.
RB
Bobbitt Family Update
In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as
Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged with:
A Misdewiener!
She's SO cute... :p
So a guy, in a bar (where else) is standing next to a good looking gal. Out of no where, he turns and grabs her boobs, one in each hand.
Slowly he turns his hands back and forth like with radio dials while saying, "Hello! Hello ! Come in Bombay!!! Hello Bombay! Come in!!!!".
The gal is shocked and pulls his hands away, screams, "What in the hell do you think you are doing???!!!!!"
The guy reaches for the boobs and starts to turn his hands back and forth again, "What am I doing? I'm trying to get India! Come in Bombay!!! Hello Bombay! Come in!!!!..........".
Have a Happy First Thanksgiving, little BJC !!!
Years ago, when my sister was a young teenager still living with Mom and Dad and I lived a couple of hours away, I volunteered to bring the bird, since I'd been given a nice boxed 15 pounder...to mess with her little blonde head, I also brought along a game hen, and stuck it alone in the box as I drove up Thanksgiving morning. She shat....hook, line and sinker.
Good one Sisku! Have a holly jolly Aberdeen Thanksgiving!
Thanks P.A.
Wishing ypu the same!
8^)
LOL!!
Always the comedian!
Happy Thanksgiving
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