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Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in Nashville
WBIR ^ | 5 Dec 06 | SAMUEL SHU

Posted on 12/05/2006 12:10:58 PM PST by OldCorps

Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said.


TOPICS: Local News
KEYWORDS: dontlightamatch; fart; flatulence; lepetomane; nofarting; pullmyfinger
Let the jokes begin!
1 posted on 12/05/2006 12:11:03 PM PST by OldCorps
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To: martin_fierro; Tijeras_Slim

flatulence ping //////


2 posted on 12/05/2006 12:12:25 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps

"Mind if I fart? It's one of my habits. I have my own section on airplanes now. I tried to quit for a year, but I gained a lot of weight."


3 posted on 12/05/2006 12:12:33 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: OldCorps

Did Richard Reid consider this as an excuse?


4 posted on 12/05/2006 12:12:55 PM PST by GnuHere
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To: OldCorps

I thought that Teddy always used his private jet.


5 posted on 12/05/2006 12:12:56 PM PST by Brilliant
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To: OldCorps
The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

I'm glad she didn't light her undies on fire like back at the fraternity house back in the 60's.

6 posted on 12/05/2006 12:13:53 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps

I've been on some bad flights before, but that one sounds like it really STUNK!


7 posted on 12/05/2006 12:13:59 PM PST by JesusBmyGod
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To: OldCorps

Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.


... and a lingering aroma,, These dogs deserve an extra bone or two for this mission, imo..


8 posted on 12/05/2006 12:14:44 PM PST by NormsRevenge (Semper Fi ...... Kyl / Cornyn in '08 .... Now is as good as any time for a GOPurge.)
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To: OldCorps
The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

Yeh, a Texas medical condition..... too many hot chili peppers and cheese.

9 posted on 12/05/2006 12:15:46 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps
Fart-joke.com
10 posted on 12/05/2006 12:16:27 PM PST by Paddlefish ("Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!")
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To: OldCorps
OK!!


11 posted on 12/05/2006 12:16:28 PM PST by Eagle of Liberty (Sorry soldiers.....your country let you down on November 7.)
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To: NormsRevenge; OldCorps
These dogs deserve an extra bone or two for this mission, imo..

Maybe the woman could use a bone. Maybe she would get rid of that "condition".

12 posted on 12/05/2006 12:17:18 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps

If you fart in church you have to sit in your own pew.


13 posted on 12/05/2006 12:17:31 PM PST by GSWarrior
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To: Kerretarded

ROFL!


14 posted on 12/05/2006 12:17:51 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps
I've heard of a face that could stop a clock, but a fart that could bring down a plane. Whew!
15 posted on 12/05/2006 12:18:54 PM PST by BallyBill (Serial Hit-N-Run poster)
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To: OldCorps

Gives a whole new meaning to terrorist attack. I wonder if she's on the watch list? Lethal weapon 4.


16 posted on 12/05/2006 12:22:47 PM PST by GOP Poet
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To: GSWarrior
If you fart in church you have to sit in your own pew.

That's Laugh Out Loud Funny!

17 posted on 12/05/2006 12:24:09 PM PST by SunTzuWu
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To: OldCorps

18 posted on 12/05/2006 12:24:31 PM PST by HOTTIEBOY (I'm your huckleberry)
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To: OldCorps
What! No Inflight Courtesy Beano Brunch?

Of course if all passengers were fitted with tubular Depends then the excess gas could be directed to the afterburner on the engines and "souper cruise" could be achieved.

pat. pending

19 posted on 12/05/2006 12:25:17 PM PST by Young Werther
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To: OldCorps; monkapotamus
Master Qui-gon Jin and his padawan Obi-wan Kenobi exit American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth at their unscheduled stop in Nashville after a plant for the the Trade Federation planted dioxis in the lavoratory of the plane.


20 posted on 12/05/2006 12:28:08 PM PST by Tamar1973 (Making every thread a Star Wars thread, one post at a time!!!)
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To: OldCorps

Poor thing....
I'd laugh....
but she coulda made the plane explode!


21 posted on 12/05/2006 12:28:29 PM PST by najida (If it wasn't for fast food, I'd have no food at all.)
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To: beyond the sea; Tijeras_Slim
flatulence ping //////

I'm just honored to be included on these. 

22 posted on 12/05/2006 12:28:42 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Young Werther; All
Was this person a recently elected Democrat, by any chance?
Sounds suspiciously descriptive to me.
23 posted on 12/05/2006 12:29:35 PM PST by Gideon Reader ("The quiet gentleman sitting in the corner sipping his Kenya AA,,defaulted to the PO'ed position..)
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To: martin_fierro

It's a Burgh thing..............


24 posted on 12/05/2006 12:29:57 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: NormsRevenge; BallyBill; GSWarrior; Kerretarded; All
Ok folks, I think I found a pic of the perpetrator (the one who dealt it) when she was dressed as a man, practicing before the flight:


25 posted on 12/05/2006 12:31:29 PM PST by OldCorps
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To: Kerretarded

Thats pretty series! lol!


26 posted on 12/05/2006 12:32:14 PM PST by OldCorps
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To: OldCorps
Not to be a wet noodle, but the headline is wrong.

The plane was not grounded due to flatulence. The plane was grounded because passengers correctly identified evidence that matches had been struck on board. Striking a match is illegal, and the passengers should be commended for be cautious.

27 posted on 12/05/2006 12:33:18 PM PST by ClearCase_guy (The broken wall, the burning roof and tower. And Agamemnon dead.)
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To: ClearCase_guy

Thank you member of the bar for setting the record straight. /s>


28 posted on 12/05/2006 12:37:22 PM PST by OldCorps
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To: ClearCase_guy

Uh, duh. But hey any excuse for fart jokes. Quit being a stinker :-).


29 posted on 12/05/2006 12:40:22 PM PST by GOP Poet
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To: beyond the sea

"The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition."



Patty Sheehan?


30 posted on 12/05/2006 12:40:36 PM PST by Brilliant
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To: OldCorps

Reminds me of a televangelist from Dallas, Robert Tilton, famous for his flatulence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS436sDdVtY&mode=related&search=


31 posted on 12/05/2006 12:42:10 PM PST by XR7
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To: Brilliant
Close Cindy Sheehan. Oh yeah, she is a fart face. Hey! Maybe that is the medical condition . . . fart face!!!
32 posted on 12/05/2006 12:42:31 PM PST by GOP Poet
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To: OldCorps

ROTFLOL....this case brought tears to my eyes....and nose!


33 posted on 12/05/2006 12:43:27 PM PST by geezerwheezer (get up boys, we're burnin' daylight!!!)
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To: GOP Poet

that's what I meant, of course.


She's not someone I want to remember too well.


34 posted on 12/05/2006 12:44:03 PM PST by Brilliant
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To: Tamar1973

35 posted on 12/05/2006 12:48:21 PM PST by monkapotamus
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To: XR7

Man and that wasn't even the Robert Tilton Megamix. Whew wee-e that mad me laugh.


36 posted on 12/05/2006 12:49:57 PM PST by GOP Poet
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To: Brilliant
Understandable.

Actually I love that you used another name. Wouldn't it be great if we all forgot her permanently? Sorry to refresh your memory. I know it isn't a pretty reminder (or memory).

Good one about Sheehan though. Perfect. :-)

37 posted on 12/05/2006 12:52:51 PM PST by GOP Poet
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To: Brilliant

Cindy?


38 posted on 12/05/2006 12:54:13 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: XR7

LOO!!! I mean LOL!!!!

Is that guy for real? Please tell me it's a joke.


39 posted on 12/05/2006 1:06:07 PM PST by synbad600
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To: OldCorps
sometimes

things are so naturally funny

no comedic improvement

can be made

40 posted on 12/05/2006 1:36:34 PM PST by Finger Monkey (H.R. 25, Fair Tax Act - A consumption tax which replaces the income tax, SS tax, death tax, etc.)
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To: OldCorps


41 posted on 12/05/2006 1:36:53 PM PST by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestu s globus, inflammare animos)
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To: All

"the captain has turned off the no farting sign"


42 posted on 12/05/2006 1:38:15 PM PST by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestu s globus, inflammare animos)
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To: GSWarrior

little girl behind us Sunday at church was farting over and over. She kept kicking my hubbies chair as well and he kept looking at me like he wanted to turn around and slap this child silly, but of course we were in church! So we had to sit still all the while with a foul stench in the air!


43 posted on 12/05/2006 1:51:24 PM PST by Halls (God, please grant me the serenity to accept what I can not change....)
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To: ClearCase_guy

>>Not to be a wet noodle, but the headline is wrong.

The plane was not grounded due to flatulence. The plane was grounded because passengers correctly identified evidence that matches had been struck on board. Striking a match is illegal, and the passengers should be commended for be cautious.<<

I didn't know it was illegal to strike a match on a plane...

I don't fly that much but I don't remember such a notice.


44 posted on 12/05/2006 2:08:57 PM PST by gondramB (It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.)
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To: beyond the sea

She probably suffers from Krohn's disease.


45 posted on 12/05/2006 3:20:23 PM PST by Callahan
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To: Callahan

A friend of mine's wife had that problem. Very painful at times.


46 posted on 12/05/2006 8:28:31 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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