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Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in Nashville
WBIR ^ | 5 Dec 06 | SAMUEL SHU

Posted on 12/05/2006 12:10:58 PM PST by OldCorps

Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said.


TOPICS: Local News
KEYWORDS: dontlightamatch; fart; flatulence; lepetomane; nofarting; pullmyfinger
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Let the jokes begin!
1 posted on 12/05/2006 12:11:03 PM PST by OldCorps
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To: martin_fierro; Tijeras_Slim

flatulence ping //////


2 posted on 12/05/2006 12:12:25 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps

"Mind if I fart? It's one of my habits. I have my own section on airplanes now. I tried to quit for a year, but I gained a lot of weight."


3 posted on 12/05/2006 12:12:33 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: OldCorps

Did Richard Reid consider this as an excuse?


4 posted on 12/05/2006 12:12:55 PM PST by GnuHere
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To: OldCorps

I thought that Teddy always used his private jet.


5 posted on 12/05/2006 12:12:56 PM PST by Brilliant
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To: OldCorps
The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

I'm glad she didn't light her undies on fire like back at the fraternity house back in the 60's.

6 posted on 12/05/2006 12:13:53 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps

I've been on some bad flights before, but that one sounds like it really STUNK!


7 posted on 12/05/2006 12:13:59 PM PST by JesusBmyGod
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To: OldCorps

Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.


... and a lingering aroma,, These dogs deserve an extra bone or two for this mission, imo..


8 posted on 12/05/2006 12:14:44 PM PST by NormsRevenge (Semper Fi ...... Kyl / Cornyn in '08 .... Now is as good as any time for a GOPurge.)
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To: OldCorps
The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

Yeh, a Texas medical condition..... too many hot chili peppers and cheese.

9 posted on 12/05/2006 12:15:46 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps
Fart-joke.com
10 posted on 12/05/2006 12:16:27 PM PST by Paddlefish ("Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!")
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To: OldCorps
OK!!


11 posted on 12/05/2006 12:16:28 PM PST by Eagle of Liberty (Sorry soldiers.....your country let you down on November 7.)
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To: NormsRevenge; OldCorps
These dogs deserve an extra bone or two for this mission, imo..

Maybe the woman could use a bone. Maybe she would get rid of that "condition".

12 posted on 12/05/2006 12:17:18 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps

If you fart in church you have to sit in your own pew.


13 posted on 12/05/2006 12:17:31 PM PST by GSWarrior
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To: Kerretarded

ROFL!


14 posted on 12/05/2006 12:17:51 PM PST by beyond the sea ( All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.)
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To: OldCorps
I've heard of a face that could stop a clock, but a fart that could bring down a plane. Whew!
15 posted on 12/05/2006 12:18:54 PM PST by BallyBill (Serial Hit-N-Run poster)
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To: OldCorps

Gives a whole new meaning to terrorist attack. I wonder if she's on the watch list? Lethal weapon 4.


16 posted on 12/05/2006 12:22:47 PM PST by GOP Poet
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To: GSWarrior
If you fart in church you have to sit in your own pew.

That's Laugh Out Loud Funny!

17 posted on 12/05/2006 12:24:09 PM PST by SunTzuWu
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To: OldCorps

18 posted on 12/05/2006 12:24:31 PM PST by HOTTIEBOY (I'm your huckleberry)
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To: OldCorps
What! No Inflight Courtesy Beano Brunch?

Of course if all passengers were fitted with tubular Depends then the excess gas could be directed to the afterburner on the engines and "souper cruise" could be achieved.

pat. pending

19 posted on 12/05/2006 12:25:17 PM PST by Young Werther
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To: OldCorps; monkapotamus
Master Qui-gon Jin and his padawan Obi-wan Kenobi exit American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth at their unscheduled stop in Nashville after a plant for the the Trade Federation planted dioxis in the lavoratory of the plane.


20 posted on 12/05/2006 12:28:08 PM PST by Tamar1973 (Making every thread a Star Wars thread, one post at a time!!!)
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