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okey dokey.....
1 posted on 03/13/2007 1:08:43 PM PDT by SubGeniusX
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To: SubGeniusX

Rumor is that the IRS is aggressively recruiting him.


2 posted on 03/13/2007 1:10:35 PM PDT by AreaMan
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To: SubGeniusX
“They never even asked to see my impaling stick,” Sharkey said.

He'll get his chance in prison. "C'mon over here, Mister Vampire, and show us your impaling stick."
3 posted on 03/13/2007 1:11:03 PM PDT by Question Liberal Authority (Carbon Dioxide is plant food, not pollution.)
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To: SubGeniusX

But where does he stand on taxes, Iraq, and abortion. Frankly, he ain't as creepy to me as McCain and sounds less evil than the Hildebeast!


4 posted on 03/13/2007 1:11:22 PM PDT by pikachu (Support Global Warming by buying your future beach front property in Denver today!)
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To: MadIvan

Ping, I thought you would get a kick out of this.


5 posted on 03/13/2007 1:12:08 PM PDT by mnehring (Virtus Junxit Mors Non Seperabit)
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To: SubGeniusX

Didn't this idiot get arrested last year? Seems like he was arrested for stalking an ex girlfriend or something.


6 posted on 03/13/2007 1:12:10 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Peace without victory is a temporary illusion.)
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To: SubGeniusX
Man! I hate it when candidates with this much potential piss it away on something so stupid.

When you're part of Vampire, Witches and Pagan party, you just need to be playing it cleaner than the other hopefuls. Otherwise, you're just staking your naked self in the heart with a sawed-off broomstick.

7 posted on 03/13/2007 1:12:46 PM PDT by Egon ("If all your friends were named Cliff, would you jump off them??" - Hugh Neutron)
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To: SubGeniusX
Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, a 42-year-old New Jersey man Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
8 posted on 03/13/2007 1:12:54 PM PDT by b4its2late (Liberalism is a hollow log and a mental disorder.)
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To: SubGeniusX

He's bogus. Check him for casting a shadow, for reflection in a mirror, and then rub him with garlic and duck him in a horsepond. That should successfully conclude the investigation.


10 posted on 03/13/2007 1:13:39 PM PDT by GSlob
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To: SubGeniusX; Tijeras_Slim; martin_fierro
Secret Service investigates santanic vampire

You've got to change your evil ways, baby.

11 posted on 03/13/2007 1:13:59 PM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: SubGeniusX
“Under the First Amendment, what it boils down to here is whether or not he’s a vampire who wants to impale the president,” Richards said. “I guess the question is, if he’s a vampire, why is he the one staking people? Shouldn’t he want to bite the president and feed on him? [This], I suppose, is perhaps further evidence that this is not a true threat.”

I hate to say this, but our nation's law professors don't know squat about vampires.

Dude. Vlad. Impaler. Look it up.
12 posted on 03/13/2007 1:14:07 PM PDT by Question Liberal Authority (Carbon Dioxide is plant food, not pollution.)
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To: SubGeniusX
>Secret Service investigates santanic vampire

This is Karl Rove's plot
to get Bush a sexier
bodyguard detail!

14 posted on 03/13/2007 1:14:42 PM PDT by theFIRMbss
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To: gonzo

Need a chuckle, Gonz? Here ya go.


15 posted on 03/13/2007 1:14:56 PM PDT by Darnright
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To: SubGeniusX
“I actually consider him a friend even though he sort of wants to kill me,” White said.

Well, sure, that makes sense.

16 posted on 03/13/2007 1:15:10 PM PDT by Dog Gone
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To: SubGeniusX

I always wonder what people like this do, in the real world, to earn their living. Do they work an 8-hour shift at some perfectly respectable business, and then go home and play vampire, whittling away at their impailing sticks, or have they found a way to make vampirism pay?


17 posted on 03/13/2007 1:15:39 PM PDT by 3AngelaD (ic.)
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To: SubGeniusX

Do I need to go out and buy some garlic? For the love of god! Someone please tell me!!!


19 posted on 03/13/2007 1:17:01 PM PDT by John123 (Dick Morris predicts Hitlery will be the worst president ever... I will now light myself on fire)
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To: windcliff

ping


29 posted on 03/13/2007 1:21:44 PM PDT by stylecouncilor
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To: Maximus of Texas; najida

I do believe I've found my candidate...


33 posted on 03/13/2007 1:26:04 PM PDT by LongElegantLegs (...a urethral syringe used to treat syphilis with mercury.)
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To: SubGeniusX

His platform does intrigue me, but I've already endorsed Cthulhu.


36 posted on 03/13/2007 1:39:38 PM PDT by Cyclopean Squid (Patron Saint of Mediocrity)
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To: SubGeniusX
“I actually consider him a friend even though he sort of wants to kill me,” White said

classic.

this entire article definitely belongs in the 'you can't make this stuff up' file.

37 posted on 03/13/2007 1:40:36 PM PDT by ZinGirl
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To: RepoGirl

Impaler ping!


41 posted on 03/13/2007 3:23:15 PM PDT by lesser_satan (EKTHELTHIOR!!!)
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