Posted on 03/29/2007 10:47:15 PM PDT by Silly
Folks in Freeper land, I could use your encouragement, prayers, comfort and support tonight. After battling my employer over a verbally and physically abusive boss, I had to clean out my office today.
Don't panic yet -- I'm continuing on payroll indefinitely. But after I reported the abuse, and was removed from her building, I was given an office from which I could search for a job. I needed that, because I need to be around midtown for interviews (and I have had some). Tomorrow in fact I have two interviews.
I'll try to summarize this quickly:
My boss is notoriously abusive, verbally, to people. But as her assistant, I get more abuse than anyone. They at least can close their doors or hang up the phone. I cannot. I was at her mercy for a year, and even began having nightmares about it.
She is an extremely physical, active and fit woman. Many times her rage is so great you think she will snap out at you. That in itself is hard to be around.
And then she actually did it. She struck me in her office, while having one of her fits of anger.
After that, the nightmares became very frequent. Some days I could not get up in the morning. Once, awaking from a nightmare, I sat in my chair at home from 6 am to 6 pm, trying to calm myself down. That day i failed to call in to work. Of course, it was a problem.
And then I went on disability for two months to recover psychologically. I still am not there yet. Every time someone in a job interview asks, "Why are you looking for another job?" it all comes back. How do you answer a question like that?
Human Resources actually made it worse. The woman I reported it to betrayed me. When I got her off the case, her boss took over. This week I learned he has been lying about things too. I knew I couldn't trust him, but I couldn't believe he'd be so brash about it.
So the vacant office I've been using for my job search is no longer available to me. No email, so prospects will now wonder, "If you're still at your company, why aren't you still at your company? What's up?"
It could be worse -- I could have my pay cut off. But that will happen soon enough. They're pulllng me away one piece at a time.
(I sure am glad I filed that police report. But it won't really help.)
Let's get together tonight, Friday, and get silly together.
The Irish Pub
7th Avenue and 54th Street, SE corner
Say, 5 PM...?
Keep this thread alive, folks. Thanks and good night.
Trying to still be,
Silly
Ping to the Happy Hour crowd... Sure hope some of you can come tomorrow night.
I've gotta get some sleep. Please keep this thread alive. It'll cheer me up in the morning.
Silly
Walk to the police station file a police report, demand she is arrested for assault. Then get a lawyer. ( Please tell us you took pictures of the marks from the assault.... please tell us that)
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I feel for you, we just got rid of a real bad one after 5 years of tirades, irrationality, and insanity. Its funny, I just thinking about this guy tonight on the way from work. Here's hoping everything works out for you..
None of this is expensive and it will put the fear of God into the abusive. You may or may not actually be able to sue them but as long as they think you might they'll give you space.
God bless you. Losing a job under any circumstance is traumatic. Been there, done that. Guess what? You'll wake up in the morning and the world will still be turning. They DO NOT matter. You do.
"And then she actually did it. She struck me in her office, while having one of her fits of anger.
After that, the nightmares became very frequent. Some days I could not get up in the morning. Once, awaking from a nightmare, I sat in my chair at home from 6 am to 6 pm, trying to calm myself down. That day i failed to call in to work. Of course, it was a problem.
And then I went on disability for two months to recover psychologically. I still am not there yet. Every time someone in a job interview asks, "Why are you looking for another job?" it all comes back. How do you answer a question like that?
Human Resources actually made it worse. The woman I reported it to betrayed me. When I got her off the case, her boss took over. This week I learned he has been lying about things too. I knew I couldn't trust him, but I couldn't believe he'd be so brash about it."
I think I will try to stay out of this.
My wife and I had dinner at Rosie O'Gradys down the street on Tuesday. We have plans Friday but would like to catch you some other time. I've been known to down a pint or two at the Pub.(or the library bar in the Sheraton Tower)
Sounds as if you may have a federal action with an unfair labor practice/hostile workplace action If you're over 40, did she ever bring up your age?
I bit my tongue till it bled.
Silly, you need a good lawyer. If this woman HIT you, and SHE was allowed to continue working there, your employer is a sitting duck for a successful lawsuit, or more likely a sizeable out of court settlement. Your employer has cemented its sitting-duck status by providing you with an office from which to job-seek and continuing salary, since this is not something which is done for employees who were (or are in the process of being) terminated for cause. Even without witnesses, pictures of marks she left on you, etc., the company's reaction is a de facto admission that you were not the problem.
"I bit my tongue till it bled."
I may as well head over to DU and see if I can find something a little more masculine than this.
Don't do that, you don't want your PC to catch anything.
Shoot guns.
Prayers for you. Hang in there, and here's hoping this crisis brings you new opportunities.
Post Traumatic Struck Syndrome?
This thread is sickening, and just plain silly...
BTW, she probably LIKES you.
I'd love to join you, but I can't make it there until 7 (I work near Princeton).
I can honestly say I appreciate your reaction. However, you don't know this person, and you don't know me. Before you cross a line you'll regret later,
1. I work hard for a living, and worked hard for her. She has ran though over half a dozen assistants in several years. That is a sign of something rotten when most of her peers, especially two-down from the CEO of a major world bank, keep the same assistant for many years. She can't do it.
2. I was reasonable, kind, respectful and patient with her. I probably prayed for this woman every day. I did my utmost to behave.
3. This person is a piece of work. The in-your-face yelling, bullying, intimidation was truly awful. She does it to everyone, but when you're lowest on the ladder and must snap to attention every time the boss needs a phone number or water or a meeting or a file, and she is cruel about it, you are getting the brunt of it. Executives in my area would tiptoe up to the door, afraid to find out what kind of a mood she was in. I had to do the knocking for them, and get yelled at. She can ruin a person's career, their life's work, with one phone call.
4. I stayed because I have a serious illness and depend on medication to live. Without this job and my meds, I would be destitute. It's not an exaggeration. It's the reality of my life. Every day for me is a struggle with my condition. Every day I have to make an effort to get up and get through the day.
5. I was awesome at my job. When I started with her, she was so happy she said she had died and gone to heaven. I was the best thing she had, and she begged me to stay. But her abuse was literally so bad, I had nightmares that prevented me from coming to work. At my desk, my arms and hands would shake when I knew she was coming. On the subway I would get sick. Each day after work it took me a couple of hours to wind down. But I have to work and have to have benefits. Just leaving without a job is not an option.
6. One of the last straws for me was when she tore into an older assistant, a man in his late sixties, in her office in front of her entire staff. She absolutely humiliated him. It was mortifying and if her staff had had any balls they all would have walked out.
I don't want to harp on you, really. I've been the object of abuse too long to want to mete it out on anyone else. But believe me, it was not a pretty year for me.
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Get a lawyer!
PS - can't make it friday, but will lift a l'chaim for you friday night!
BOL!
Yes, officially diagnosed. By a great doctor, too.
The fact that such a shrew still has a job there after that says a lot for the company and none of it good. That's just unacceptable.
I said I prayer for you...that you find a MUCH better job very soon. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Have a cold one for me, OK? And I hope you go after that abusive witch and the company and sue the daylights out of them. They should not get away with something like this. (And I have never been particularly litigious.)
You said (to someone else) -- "I don't want to harp on you, really. I've been the object of abuse too long to want to mete it out on anyone else. But believe me, it was not a pretty year for me."
Tell me please, that you've got a lawyer. And also tell me that you've file for a workman's comp claim...
Regards,
Star Traveler
My boss is a maniac but there is nothing I can do about it as I am self employed
OPINION:
1. I'm glad you filed a police report.
That was the right thing to do.
You may want to chat with a lawyer, too.
Now, here's something to think about.
2. Did you know we have freepers who have serious, some terminal diseases?
3. Did you know we have freepers who have had one or more relatives/friends killed or injured due to terrorism and/or the war?
4. Did you know we have freepers here with severe disabilities and diseases?
Anyway, Silly cheer up.
Each day is a gift from God.
Use it wisely and be grateful.
God bless you.
I'll be there in spirit! 
Read post 20, item 4.
And thank you for your words; I know you mean well.
God has been very good to me. Another entire story there.
Here's a prayer I wrote last night just before bed:
There's so much more to say and do.
But dear God in heaven, I love you.
Help me to be pure and bright tonight,
And meet me kindly in tomorrow's morning light.
Amen.
That's a wonderful prayeer, Silly.
sp=prayer
From another thread. Thought you could use it.
Prayers UP for another job with someone kind!
Want me to punch her lights out? Just say the word....;)
Was your boss named Hillary by any chance?
I had to clean out my office today.
Silly, I know it is very hard. I will be praying for you too. I have stayed in abusive situations before. I absolutely know I should have left long before I did. You are a very special person and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. If you can, look at this trial as a step up the ladder of faith. The first step up is the most difficult especially when it looks so dark. I know you will find a good job. I also believe you will look back at this time in your life and thank the Lord for it. Sometimes things come to us in difficult forms and when we are going through them we have a hard time seeing. I pray you will turn to the Lord himself for your confidence. He alone is your provider. No one on this earth or at any given job is what you really need. God will allow things like this to come into our lives to get our attention and than direct us right back to Him for all our needs. There is no need to small or insignificant for Him to help us with. My own experience tell me this. He knows your health and what you need in order to live and I know He wants to meet all your needs. Trust Him. Simple but so hard. God Bless you and keep us informed along the way. Look for Him as you step out into the unknown. He is waiting for you and longing to be your Source. Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. & Psalm 43:5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, [who is] the health of my countenance, and my God.
That's no way to live Silly. I've had abusive bosses like that (not abusive to me - frighteningly he LIKED me) Eventually even the management realised how bad he was and gave him the push. He did a lot of damage before that though.
LOL!
But unfortunately, if you do, you'll be hauled out in chains faster than you can say "equality under the law."
God bless you and I hope you will find justice and that she and your company get their just deserts.
I worry for the next person to work under this psychotic witch.
In the mean time, contact every conservative acronym you can think off. ACRU, ACLJ, you name it. There's no way this case should be allowed to a) end with no punishments and/or b) become a liberal/feminazi cause celebre.
This is Bloggers/Personal not for this area
I think you can reasonably give your cell phone number ( if you don't have one, it's not expensive to get one) and your home e-mail ( even if it's an @yahoo.com or whatever). Prospective employers understand if you don't want to be called at work and with the prevalence of cell phones this is reasonable. (I don't recommend giving them your home number as the number to call, because then they WILL wonder why are you always home when they call you, but with the cell phone they wouldn't give it a second thought).
As for the reason, why you are leaving, you can say that there is a "personality conflict" a euphemism for your not getting along with your boss, but it's something that is known to happen and they won't hold it against you -- especially, if you have several previous jobs you can point at, where you stayed longer and had not had any problems.
Good luck in your job search.
My thoughts exactly.
And while we are at it lets stay out of an Irish pub while we are staying out of it.
Silly, I can't make it to the bar on Friday. I'm in Minnesota. But I will be raising a brew to you via the computer monitor at around 5:00 P.M. Eastern.
I already shot up a prayer for you.
About nine years ago (God, how time flies!) I got canned. The bosses that I worked for were an irrational idiots. Being that I was young and dumb at the time, I would smart off back to them. I suppose that I was asking for it, but then again so were they. It was a hell hole. It was depressing to go to work everyday. I would get migraines just thinking about the damn place and how to deal with the damn idiots. I actually lost a lot of time from work due to the migraines. In any event, after looking for 7 months for a job in that region (northern Minnesota - where there is a perpetual depression), I finally decided to move to the twin cities. After doing three job interviews in the first day of my visit, I got three job offers. I learned that the twin cities where not as bad as what I supposed. It was the best thing that could have happened to me.
But all of this is superfluous. That point is that things can and do turn around on a dime. You already got through the worst part, things can only start improving.
Life is good and it keeps getting better!
Darn!
I'd love to be there, Silly. I have no car today! Plus I've already made commitments for today.
I'll be with the spirits.
I mean I'll be with you in Spirit.
Do it again in a couple weeks (next Friday being Good Friday) and I will get there whatever it takes. We are talking Manhattan are we not?
I am in Italy so I will be there in spirit and prayer. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. There have been times when I was at my wits end because of some abusive boss. Although it was only verbally and never physical. I can't believe that your supervisor is not in jail. I know this might be hard to believe at this time, but things will get better. I am so thankful that you have decided to get another job. You will most likely feel a million pounds lighter. Good luck to you. You are doing the right thing. You had to put up with your supervisor for over a year, she has to put up with herself forever. She sounds very insecure and mean.
By the way, Silly.
Go get 'em.
There is no excuse. Too bad when she struck you you didn't file assault charges and go to the ER.
That would cement your case.
Go the heck and get 'em.
Your employer deserves it and you and the others need to see her get what's coming.
Best of luck and good luck on your job search.
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