Posted on 05/14/2007 10:44:29 AM PDT by streetpreacher
Legal question for anyone who knows. A friend of mine is in a bad relationship (unmarried) with two kids. The lady has definite mental issues and some prescription drug issues as well. He finally had enough and is leaving her. The lady in question called his mom up at 3:30 in the morning and told her to come get the kids, that she couldn't handle them and if she didn't she would call 911 and have them take her kids. Apparently, she had threatened suicide to her fiancee as well.
This woman has a history of faking seizures and being wheeled in and out of the emergency room so much so, that the fiancee's mom has practically raised the grandkids by herself.
The children are with the grandmother now, as the mother has essentially abandoned them. Unfortunately, instead of calling an attorney, she called DFS and was told if the mother wanted the children back, she would have to give them back. And if she wanted, she could give the woman an 800 hotline to call if she feels suicidal. I'm just shaking my head in disbelief. This is in Missouri. Does this grandmother really have to turn over custody to this mother who could possibly be a danger to these children?
I called another hotline for "grandparent's rights" and they actually suggested that she call the hotline for abuse and allow the state to take custody. And she could then fight for custody. That sounds ludicrous to me.
The father works, but as of now, he is without his own place. As I stated earlier, they are unmarried. Does he have the legal right to keep the children with the grandmother and refuse to turn them over to the mother?
I realize she needs to talk to an attorney, but they are all at lunch right now and we are trying to get some kind of understanding of where she stands as we don't know what will transpire in the next couple of hours.
Go and pull them out of lunch right now.
They are idiots if they continue a second longer without legal represeentation.
Sorry for the fast typing but you need to intervene.
Only a family attorney will know exactly how the law operates in MO and what kind of rights an unmarried father possesses.
No better advise. Lawyer up!
The best thing to do ( and I think this is the same there) is get a family law attorney and then file for an emergence protective order. The judge will order the kids into the grandparent's care if they can show they are willing and capable of taking care of them and then the judge will implant him/herself into the mother's life, rehab, parenting classes, physiological help, mandatory drug testing, etc.
Then if the mother doesn't follow through with the judges order custody will be awarded to the grand parents. Or, if the dad can man up and take responsibility for his kids, he can do the same thing.
Your friends need a lawyer.
Start documenting/journaling every instance of negligent or abusive behavior by the mother.
Next time she threatens suicide they should call 911 and try for a involuntary commitment of the mother.
Grandma should start attenting DFS foster care training and certification classes ASAP.
Yes, this mother has all the rights and they grandmother and father (and children) virtually none.
Get a lawyer today. If they don’t have the money, they have to find the money.
They can get a written custody agreement served to her for several hundred dollars. It’s best if you can catch her at a weak moment, or present it to her as helping her. Anything, but get a lawyer NOW.
I’ve been through this. Spent $500 to get custody of grandson and now there’s nothing she can do to the child.
Have them go to Radio Shack and get a tape recorder and a phone bug for recording phone calls. Missouri is a “one-party notification” state for recording phone calls, meaning only one party needs to know the call is being recorded. People will say the dumbest things when they think no one will hear. Just make sure to not record any calls that cross state lines. That requires “two-party notification”, regardless of the laws of each state.
We know grandparents in this position. They were given custody (by the birth mother) of the child for 4 years. She bopped back in with a new man at that point and took the child back. And there was nothing the grandparents could do. They fought, but they lost.
OH! But the biological father (son of the custodial grandparents) continues to pay support.
Who suffers? That lovely little boy.
I agree that your friend needs a lawyer.Although *I’m* not a lawyer it seems to me that this isn’t a case of “grandparents rights” but rather one of an unfit mother and which person(s) will be determined,by a court,to be best suited to raise said mother’s children.
We’re calling attornies and so far it’s, “We don’t handle those kinds of cases”. Waiting for another attorney to return my call...
That could be a problem for the granparents as DFS doesn’t seem to care about custody; they will just remove the children from the mother and place them in foster care.
I’ll be praying for your friends and for those precious little ones.
granparents = grandparents
Thanks. I didn’t even think to ask for prayer but that is the most important thing anyone can do right now.
Skip to the “Family law attorneys” section of the yellow pages.
You may not have to go to court and all that other stuff. Mine was over state line and it could be a matter of getting her to sidn custody papers, if she will.
I always thought that courts,whenever possible,try to grant custody to blood relatives rather than foster homes. Of course you can never count on government workers to do the just thing,the moral thing,the logical thing.
Step 1. Get the mother committed.
Step 2. The father will take custody.
Step 3. Father lets his mom raise the child.
The father has a better chance of getting custody than the grandmother. But they need a lawyer.
Mrs VS
The one the mother chooses to give custody to has the best chance of getting it, unless it goes to the courts. I didn’t want some impersonal, inattentive, government flacky judge deciding.
I keep telling you, if possible, nip this in the bud before it goes to court.
State laws re specific rights for grandparents vary widely, but aren’t really an issue in this case, since the father still has equal rights with the mother to custody of the children. The father should move in with his mom for now. Then the mother has no more legal right to take the kids back than he has to keep them, and she’ll have to go to court to get them back. Given the mother’s documentable history of major instability, it won’t be a tough call for the court. If there’s no way he can move in with his mom, state custody is not necessarily something to be avoided — it doesn’t automatically mean the state takes the kids and puts them with strangers. If a sane and stable close relative is available to care for the children (which their obviously is in this case), the state will usually put the children there. State custody is just a legal status, and if the state has legal custody and places the children with the grandmother and/or father, it would preclude the mother from having any contact with the children unless authorized by the state. Right now, she legally has as much right to come and take the children away from the grandmother’s home as the father does.
This exact thing happened with our daughter in law,don’t wait a minute get legal help now,it took six months and a lot of money that I had to borrow but my wife and me got custody of our grand son when he was one,he graduates this year.I don’t regret for one minute for taking him from an abusive parent.I wish them luck and will pray for them
No, she doesn't have to, particularly since she can prove that she has had custody of the kids for a majority of the time and can show probable cause that she is not fit at this time to take care of those kids.
She can petition the court for custody, with stipulations for visiting, etc, and ask the court to require mental health care for the mother as a condition for visitation. But she needs to see a family lawyer, as much as I hate to advise it. Going through the state social services won't cut it, most of them are morons.
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