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Man mistakes straw bale for stricken woman, gives it CPR
Island Packet ^

Posted on 06/27/2007 5:59:26 AM PDT by SmoothTalker

"A Hilton Head Island man confused bales of pine straw with a dead woman, and tried to resuscitate them early Tuesday morning, according to a sheriff's report.

The 39-year-old called deputies to the parking lot of Hilton Head Cabanas, 32 South Forest Beach Drive, at 1:49 a.m., saying he had just tried to perform CPR on a dead woman, according to the sheriff's report."

"They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw."

" Deputies think the man had been drinking. The report says he thought Tuesday was Halloween and he had two empty bottles of bourbon inside his home."

(Excerpt) Read more at islandpacket.com ...


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KEYWORDS: rollinthehay
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"Deputies think the man had been drinking."

You don't say.

1 posted on 06/27/2007 5:59:30 AM PDT by SmoothTalker
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To: SmoothTalker

I’m sure he was sober. Happens to me all the time.


2 posted on 06/27/2007 6:00:35 AM PDT by Thane_Banquo ("Give a man a fish, make him a Democrat. Teach a man to fish, make him a Republican.")
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To: SmoothTalker

Perhaps a little too much canabis in the cabanas.


3 posted on 06/27/2007 6:02:04 AM PDT by HEY4QDEMS (Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.)
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To: SmoothTalker

Serious anorexia.


4 posted on 06/27/2007 6:03:35 AM PDT by SouthTexas
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To: HEY4QDEMS

maybe he just hangs out with some real ugly women


5 posted on 06/27/2007 6:03:46 AM PDT by tm61
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To: SmoothTalker

Don’t judge him too harshly.

I also start drinking heavily this time of year...

...after all the in-laws will be coming over in three weeks for Thanksgiving.


6 posted on 06/27/2007 6:03:59 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG (Apparently now my party considers me an "ugly nativist".)
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To: SmoothTalker
"They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw."

As long as it was pine straw, I'm okay with it. Any other kind of straw would have been depraved.
7 posted on 06/27/2007 6:04:18 AM PDT by HaveHadEnough
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To: SmoothTalker
"They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw."

So the CPR worked I take it?

8 posted on 06/27/2007 6:04:49 AM PDT by uptoolate (How can a Holy, Righteous, and Just God NOT kill me for what I said, thought and did yesterday)
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To: SmoothTalker

What was Teddy Kennedy doing that far south?


9 posted on 06/27/2007 6:06:09 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (Fred Thompson/John Bolton 2008)
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To: SmoothTalker

I can see how he’d do this. I had a neighbor, named sue, who had log kinda blonde hair that looked like hay. We called her hay-head. She also looked like a wittch, and wasn’t very pleasant or smart, so I’d never try to rescussitate her, but some guy with 2 bottles of bourbon down the hatch may.


10 posted on 06/27/2007 6:06:11 AM PDT by Clam Digger
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To: SmoothTalker
So the guy had a couple of bottles of bourbon and mixed up his days a bit, and tried to resuscitate some straw. The point is that he thought he was saving a life and that’s commendable.

Most people pass out long before they start skipping months and mistaking hay for people.
11 posted on 06/27/2007 6:06:32 AM PDT by Jaysun (It's like people who hate corn bread and hate anchovies, but love cornchovie bread.)
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To: SmoothTalker
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
12 posted on 06/27/2007 6:06:33 AM PDT by b4its2late (Liberalism is a mental disorder.)
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
...after all the in-laws will be coming over in three weeks for Thanksgiving.

I get it. LOL, just be glad it's Thanksgiving '07.
13 posted on 06/27/2007 6:06:43 AM PDT by HEY4QDEMS (Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.)
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To: SmoothTalker

He was just making hay.


14 posted on 06/27/2007 6:07:31 AM PDT by dforest (Fighting the new liberal Conservatism. The Left foot in the GOP door.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Don’t be silly. If it really was Teddy Kennedy, he wouldn’t have tried to rescusitate her, but instead would have called his lawyer and got himself a neck brace before contacting the police.


15 posted on 06/27/2007 6:08:06 AM PDT by rightwingintelligentsia (Scratch a RINO, and you'll find a global elitist beneath the surface.)
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
...after all the in-laws will be coming over in three weeks for Thanksgiving.

You have to make it through Christmas first man. That's the killer.
16 posted on 06/27/2007 6:08:13 AM PDT by Jaysun (It's like people who hate corn bread and hate anchovies, but love cornchovie bread.)
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To: SmoothTalker
this guy needs some addition education:

This is a bale of straw.
and this is a woman.
Do you see the difference?
even drunk, the difference is quite noticeable.

17 posted on 06/27/2007 6:08:19 AM PDT by From One - Many (Trust the Old Media At Your Own Risk)
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To: upchuck

Ping!


18 posted on 06/27/2007 6:12:12 AM PDT by SC Swamp Fox (Join our Folding@Home team (Team# 36120) keyword: folding)
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To: SmoothTalker; Slings and Arrows
"They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw."


If she was dead what could he possibly have been saying to her


19 posted on 06/27/2007 6:17:35 AM PDT by grjr21
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To: SmoothTalker

Was he a CNN reporter?


20 posted on 06/27/2007 6:17:57 AM PDT by badpacifist (I'm touching the portal of infinite knowledge right now!)
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To: SmoothTalker
I guess the guy would be hot for this one...


21 posted on 06/27/2007 6:23:39 AM PDT by AmericaUnited
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To: SmoothTalker

“All the bales of pine straw look pretty at closing time”


22 posted on 06/27/2007 6:24:43 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG (Apparently now my party considers me an "ugly nativist".)
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To: SmoothTalker; 2A Patriot; 2nd amendment mama; 4everontheRight; 77Jimmy; Abbeville Conservative; ...
Embarrassed that we live in SC ping :)

South Carolina Ping

Add me to the list. / Remove me from the list.

23 posted on 06/27/2007 6:25:16 AM PDT by upchuck (If you don't have borders, you won't have a nation ~ Mark Steyn)
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To: SmoothTalker

I hope he had friends to go his bale


24 posted on 06/27/2007 6:26:26 AM PDT by tlb
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To: SmoothTalker

Brilliant deduction Dr. Watson.


25 posted on 06/27/2007 6:26:52 AM PDT by irishtenor (There is no "I" in team, but there are two in IDIOT.)
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To: SmoothTalker

“It’sh Halloween! I’m jusht helping out thish shcarecrow! *hic* Man, thish ish the hottest damn Halloween, ain’t it?”

}:-)4


26 posted on 06/27/2007 6:27:48 AM PDT by Moose4 (Effing the ineffable since 1966.)
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To: From One - Many

yeah..roll them both on a magnet and look for the baling wire..


27 posted on 06/27/2007 6:31:42 AM PDT by ken5050
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To: Clam Digger

28 posted on 06/27/2007 6:40:48 AM PDT by HOTTIEBOY (The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.)
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To: upchuck
Embarrassed that we live in SC ping :)

Embarrassed that I cut through this guy's parking lot on my way to the beach.

BTW, that pine straw is pretty gnarly in the daylight. He could do better.
29 posted on 06/27/2007 6:46:17 AM PDT by Thrownatbirth (.....when the sidewalks are safe for the little guy.)
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To: SmoothTalker
I think this guy may have been posting to me on another thread.
30 posted on 06/27/2007 6:59:36 AM PDT by smug (Free Ramos and Compean:)
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To: From One - Many
Do you see the difference? even drunk, the difference is quite noticeable.

.....since we got our new bailer.....

.....we've bailed some awful perty bails.....

.....but even after way too many drinks.....

.....they ain't THAT perty.....lol

31 posted on 06/27/2007 7:22:11 AM PDT by cyberaxe (((.....does this mean I'm kewl now?.....)))
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To: upchuck

Did this guy go out to sea and stay too long?


32 posted on 06/27/2007 7:23:10 AM PDT by thulldud ("Para inglÚs, oprima el dos.")
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To: grjr21; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
Deputies think the man had been drinking.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.


33 posted on 06/27/2007 7:56:24 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Gaza: Your one-stop schadenfreude entertainment center.)
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To: SmoothTalker

Actually a bale of pine straw might be an improvement over some of the women to whom he’s tried to give CPR after a long night in the bar.


34 posted on 06/27/2007 8:01:44 AM PDT by blau993
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To: SmoothTalker

Was the straw singing this? “If I only had a brain!”


35 posted on 06/27/2007 8:18:40 AM PDT by GreenLanternCorps (Thompson for President: 2008, 2012: Jindal for President 2016, 2020)
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To: SmoothTalker

I hate it when that happens.


36 posted on 06/27/2007 8:27:42 AM PDT by Between the Lines (I am very cognizant of my fallibility, sinfulness, and other limitations.)
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To: upchuck
Embarrassed that we live in SC ping :)

Why be embarrassed? Chances are he's a tourist. And besides it shows that we have some of the prettiest pine straw around.

Visit South Carolina - Even our pine straw is beautiful.

37 posted on 06/27/2007 8:30:38 AM PDT by Between the Lines (I am very cognizant of my fallibility, sinfulness, and other limitations.)
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To: SmoothTalker

Hey, he had more compassion for that hay bale than Teddy had for mary Jo!


38 posted on 06/27/2007 8:31:10 AM PDT by Law is not justice but process
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To: Between the Lines

“Visit South Carolina - Even our pine straw is beautiful.”

Yeah, that’s the ticket :)


39 posted on 06/27/2007 8:33:19 AM PDT by upchuck (If you don't have borders, you won't have a nation ~ Mark Steyn)
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To: SmoothTalker
=
Oh what a night ...
40 posted on 06/27/2007 8:33:34 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

lol!!


41 posted on 06/27/2007 8:34:10 AM PDT by Osage Orange (Political Correctness...is Intellectual Fascism)
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To: SmoothTalker
Reminds me of an old Steeley Dan song:

"Drink Scotch whiskey, all night long, and die behind the wheel."

42 posted on 06/27/2007 8:35:51 AM PDT by CholeraJoe (July 11, 2007. The Rebellion begins!)
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To: SmoothTalker

Better check to see if he feed his wife to the cows.


43 posted on 06/27/2007 8:41:16 AM PDT by ThomasThomas
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To: stylecouncilor

ping


44 posted on 06/27/2007 8:44:15 AM PDT by windcliff
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To: SmoothTalker
" Deputies think the man had been drinking.

At least.

45 posted on 06/27/2007 8:45:51 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: SmoothTalker

He hit on me the last time, keep him away!

46 posted on 06/27/2007 8:54:35 AM PDT by xJones
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To: SmoothTalker

“They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw.”....Hells Bells!...Just maybe the bale had something interesting to say!


47 posted on 06/27/2007 9:14:33 AM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: Slings and Arrows
When you are that intoxicated you’re supposed to “Hit the hay” not Hit ON the hay!!!!

8^)

48 posted on 06/27/2007 10:06:21 AM PDT by The SISU kid (Imagination saved us from extinction)
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To: Slings and Arrows
The last straw lady he met in NO had a bit more to offer. No one should blame the poor bloke.


49 posted on 06/27/2007 11:04:32 AM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: From One - Many; SmoothTalker
Strange, strange things happen in the woods at night ... that's why I'm not surprised.


50 posted on 06/27/2007 11:07:58 AM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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