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Did the earth mooove for you? (Teenager disrespects cow at 4:30 AM)
The Sun (U.K.) ^ | July 6, 2007 | ROBIN PERRIE

Posted on 07/05/2007 11:20:18 PM PDT by Stoat

 

Did the earth mooove for you?

 
Blondie ... identity protected and, inset, Richard, whose herd it all now
 
Blondie ... identity protected and, inset, Richard, who has herd it all now

 
 
 
By ROBIN PERRIE
July 06, 2007
 
 
 

 
COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.

 

A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

By the time officers arrived he had fled but night-time patrols are on the alert in case he strikes again.

Farmer Richard Parish was stunned to hear what had happened to the cow, one of three rare English longhorns in the field.

Specialist breeder Richard, 39, even thinks he knows which of them was the victim — a looker named Blondie who is the FRIENDLIEST.

He said: “English longhorns are lovely animals — but not that lovely. My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.”

The teenager was scared off when the passer-by shouted at him at Richard’s farm in Skipwith, North Yorks. Locals in the tiny village, which has a population of less than 300, are certain he was not from the area.

Richard thinks the attacker may even have “wooed” Blondie with grub because a feed bucket had mysteriously moved from time to time.

He added: “I have got to be much more vigilant. The cows don’t seem to be spending so much time outside and are happier inside the barn at night.”

Fellow farmer Alan Patrick said: “I can’t believe it.”

Police said: “We are treating this matter seriously.”



TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: agriculture; animalhusbandry; cilf; cow; farming; pasturepoon; steer; viniusinvictus
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"cough" (not saying a word)
1 posted on 07/05/2007 11:20:21 PM PDT by Stoat
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To: Stoat
It’s now a Bum Steer.

Nothing to see here, Mooooooove along...

2 posted on 07/05/2007 11:22:50 PM PDT by Syncro
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To: festus

Sounds like a job for Free Republic’s Deputy Sheriff.


3 posted on 07/05/2007 11:25:26 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: Stoat

I hope, at least, the cow got dinner and a movie first.


4 posted on 07/05/2007 11:25:29 PM PDT by MarkeyD (Just another country bumpkin looking forward to Fred!)
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To: Stoat

“(not saying a word)”

Occasionally, words are unnecessary.


5 posted on 07/05/2007 11:26:09 PM PDT by decal (Sign over DNC headquarters: Please Check Common Sense And Morals At The Door)
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To: Stoat

We should start working on cross breeding humans and cows. You know, just in case that whole “Population Bomb” thing ever does go off, it would be a good idea to have a tastier brand of human to feed on.


6 posted on 07/05/2007 11:28:29 PM PDT by Grimmy (equivocation is but the first step along the road to capitulation)
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To: Stoat

7 posted on 07/05/2007 11:31:19 PM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: Daffynition

LMAO!!!!


8 posted on 07/05/2007 11:32:08 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: Stoat
“English longhorns are lovely animals — but not that lovely.

Texas Longhorns, on the other hand...

My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.”

I really hope that pun wasn't intentional.

9 posted on 07/05/2007 11:32:14 PM PDT by GOP_Raider (FReepmail me to join the FR Idaho Ping List.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Check this out, it’s udderly ridiculous!


10 posted on 07/05/2007 11:33:47 PM PDT by GOP_Raider (FReepmail me to join the FR Idaho Ping List.)
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To: Stoat
...after he was seen romping with a COW.
...having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

Okay, I'm confused. Was it a steer, a male bovine, or was it a cow, a female bovine?
The discrepency matters, especially for the later attempts at humor...
My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.
...know what I mean? (eeeewwwwww!)

11 posted on 07/05/2007 11:39:26 PM PDT by philman_36
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To: GOP_Raider
I think it was. As it is, here too, in the caption below the photo:

"Blondie ... identity protected and, inset, Richard, who has herd it all now"

12 posted on 07/05/2007 11:39:27 PM PDT by CarrotAndStick (The articles posted by me needn't necessarily reflect my opinion.)
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To: GOP_Raider

not..necessarily..so

the..article..says..steer

steer..here..has..special..significance

aint..no..udder..there

Robin,..learn..the..diff


13 posted on 07/05/2007 11:41:00 PM PDT by himno hero
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To: philman_36
...after he was seen romping with a COW.
...having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

Okay, I'm confused. Was it a steer, a male bovine, or was it a cow, a female bovine?
The discrepency matters, especially for the later attempts at humor...
My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.
...know what I mean? (eeeewwwwww!)

I'm not touching this with a 'ten foot anything'.

14 posted on 07/05/2007 11:41:52 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: Stoat
COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.

A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

Dang city folks, don't know the difference between a cow and a steer.

15 posted on 07/05/2007 11:43:25 PM PDT by Straight Vermonter (Posting from deep behind the Maple Curtain)
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To: GOP_Raider

I’ll bet it would be hilarious to sit in a pub with a pint, buy all the farmers a round, and listen to them laugh their heads off.


16 posted on 07/05/2007 11:47:15 PM PDT by KittyKares
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To: Straight Vermonter
COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.

A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

Dang city folks, don't know the difference between a cow and a steer.

Agreed....the confusion is disconcerting.  Perhaps the animal refused to divulge it's sexual identity to the reporter because it feared discrimination?

17 posted on 07/05/2007 11:47:19 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: Daffynition
A cartoon with a bull with udders.
Must've been where the author did their research!
18 posted on 07/05/2007 11:49:00 PM PDT by philman_36
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To: philman_36

If it is a steer, your are queer.


19 posted on 07/05/2007 11:49:08 PM PDT by razorback-bert (Posted by Time's Man of the Year)
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To: GOP_Raider; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...



20 posted on 07/05/2007 11:49:11 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Gaza: Your one-stop schadenfreude entertainment center.)
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To: everyone

There’s nothing funny about this. Bestiality is a hideous, evil act.


21 posted on 07/05/2007 11:49:31 PM PDT by California Patriot ("That's not Charley the Tuna out there. It's Jaws." -- Richard Nixon)
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To: Stoat
Perhaps the animal refused to divulge it's sexual identity to the reporter because it feared discrimination?
Don't ask, don't tell perhaps?
22 posted on 07/05/2007 11:50:58 PM PDT by philman_36
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To: razorback-bert
If it is a steer, your are queer.
Or, at the least, not that familiar with farm animal biology.

Too much fun!

23 posted on 07/05/2007 11:53:28 PM PDT by philman_36
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To: philman_36
Perhaps the animal refused to divulge it's sexual identity to the reporter because it feared discrimination?
Don't ask, don't tell perhaps?
 

Oh Lawdy....Political Correctness in the stockyard!

(banging furry stoat head on desk)

24 posted on 07/05/2007 11:53:57 PM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: California Patriot
There’s nothing funny about this. Bestiality is a hideous, evil act.

Nothing funny about bestiality?

Ahem.

25 posted on 07/05/2007 11:55:37 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Gaza: Your one-stop schadenfreude entertainment center.)
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To: California Patriot
Bestiality is a hideous, evil act.
True enough, but it's still funny in that it illustrates what depths a depraved mind will stoop to.
26 posted on 07/05/2007 11:55:39 PM PDT by philman_36
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To: philman_36
This emoo stuff has gone too far!


27 posted on 07/05/2007 11:55:54 PM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: Daffynition

If a cow is emo, does it butcher itself?


28 posted on 07/05/2007 11:58:51 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Gaza: Your one-stop schadenfreude entertainment center.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

OK, that one was funny because the guy was such an idiot and got what he deserved.


29 posted on 07/05/2007 11:59:12 PM PDT by California Patriot ("That's not Charley the Tuna out there. It's Jaws." -- Richard Nixon)
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To: Stoat
If ever there was a story worth poking fun at this one is it.
30 posted on 07/06/2007 12:00:21 AM PDT by philman_36
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To: California Patriot
OK, that one was funny because the guy was such an idiot and got what he deserved.

Conceded like a gentleman.

31 posted on 07/06/2007 12:00:57 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Gaza: Your one-stop schadenfreude entertainment center.)
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To: California Patriot

maybe for you but the cow might have enjoyed it.


32 posted on 07/06/2007 12:01:44 AM PDT by bikerman (_ _ . /_ _ _ /_ . . / / . . . . / . / . _ . . / . _ _ . / / . . _ / . . . //)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Slaughterhouse-Five: “Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.” (122)


33 posted on 07/06/2007 12:07:14 AM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: Stoat

34 posted on 07/06/2007 12:08:46 AM PDT by BigCinBigD (You "abort" bad missile launches and carrier landings. Not babies.)
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To: California Patriot
Bestiality is a hideous, evil act.

It wasn't me. The cow crap on my shoes came from the...from the...from the...PARK!...yeah that's it...the park.

35 posted on 07/06/2007 12:09:09 AM PDT by MARTIAL MONK
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To: BigCinBigD

Oh my....certainly puts the term “well done” in a new light.


36 posted on 07/06/2007 12:10:45 AM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: MARTIAL MONK
Others that have gone before you have alleviated that problem.


37 posted on 07/06/2007 12:13:04 AM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: MarkeyD
I hope, at least, the cow got dinner and a movie first.

From the article:

Richard thinks the attacker may even have “wooed” Blondie with grub because a feed bucket had mysteriously moved from time to time.

And who says chivalry is dead?

38 posted on 07/06/2007 12:14:20 AM PDT by Stoat (Rice / Coulter 2008: Smart Ladies for a Strong America)
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To: philman_36
“Okay, I’m confused. Was it a steer, a male bovine, or was it a cow, a female bovine?”

Well, unless Farmer Parish is a “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” fan, “Blondie” figgers to be female - and the pic on the top of the thread there shows little resemblance between the quadruped and Clint Eastwood.

39 posted on 07/06/2007 12:17:59 AM PDT by decal (Sign over DNC headquarters: Please Check Common Sense And Morals At The Door)
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To: Stoat
I wonder if this sort of thing is more common in the UK. I liked the British actor Robert Morley and someone recently gave me a semi-autobiographical book about him. At one point in the book he is describing how he visited a court in Cardiff with his actor friend Wilfrid Hyde White, and he says:

"Wilfrid .. was greatly surprised at the number of cases on the calendar dealing with the public's overfondness for sheep."

40 posted on 07/06/2007 12:27:20 AM PDT by wideminded
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To: Stoat

The author of this article must be a city slicker. Cows are female, steers are male. Since her name is Blondie, we know it’s a cow. What we don’t know is if it was consensual, and if it was, what did he promise her? LOL!


41 posted on 07/06/2007 12:29:22 AM PDT by NRA2BFree ("The time is near at hand which must determine whether Americans are to be free men or slaves!")
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To: Stoat
The ONLY question that matters is not answered.

WAS IT CONSENSUAL ?

An American Expat in Southeast Asia

42 posted on 07/06/2007 12:37:32 AM PDT by expatguy (Support - "An American Expat in Southeast Asia")
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To: Stoat
Continuing problem with moo-slims?
43 posted on 07/06/2007 1:54:06 AM PDT by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Stoat

A steer, huh?

Just wondering... Did a nearby video shop get a copy of “Clerks 2” in recently?

“Hey! That’s ‘Interspecies Erotica!’”

Mark


44 posted on 07/06/2007 2:02:11 AM PDT by MarkL (Listen, Strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government)
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To: Stoat

45 posted on 07/06/2007 3:13:46 AM PDT by Tench_Coxe
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To: philman_36

I thought the same thing when I read it.

Steer....or cow.....makes an udder difference in all the puns!


46 posted on 07/06/2007 3:19:00 AM PDT by EBH (May God Save Our Country)
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To: Daffynition

Do you have a storehouse of these pictures to pull from when such stories come along? (There are three cow-related pictures from you in this thread.) Apart from being side-splitting, they have me worried about you.


47 posted on 07/06/2007 3:19:05 AM PDT by bajabaja
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To: wideminded

Ah! Great Britain...
where men are men, and sheep are nervous!

Bring on in da sheep
Bring on in da sheep
We shall come rejoicing
Bring on in da sheep!


48 posted on 07/06/2007 3:33:56 AM PDT by camle (keep your mind open and somebody will fill it full of something for you)
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To: NRA2BFree
What we don’t know is if it was consensual, and if it was, what did he promise her? LOL!

The feed bucket had been moved around. Obviously it was a dinner date.

The front page of our local paper carried a similar story two days ago. A barn had been broken into repeatedly, but nothing was ever stolen. They put in an infrared motion triggered camera.

An 18 year old local was stopping in at 3 AM for "conjugal visits" with a sheep.

They identified him in the paper, so he will be having an interesting life around town.

Given some of the attitudes of some contemporary single womyn, we will probably be seeing a lot more of this..Though if he were a gentleman, he would have bought his own...or at least brought some lettuce.

49 posted on 07/06/2007 4:24:37 AM PDT by Gorzaloon (Global Warming: A New Kind Of Scientology for the Rest Of Us.)
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To: wideminded
I wonder if this sort of thing is more common in the UK. ... At one point in the book he is describing how he visited a court in Cardiff with his actor friend Wilfrid Hyde White, and he says: "Wilfrid .. was greatly surprised at the number of cases on the calendar dealing with the public's overfondness for sheep."

Probably just crimes of opportunity. There are SO MANY sheep there. More dating candidates for the lovelorn, more lonely dark misty evenings...

Plus I think it would take someone with delusions of grandeur to date a cow, who would probably blink, yawn, and ignore him.

50 posted on 07/06/2007 4:30:07 AM PDT by Gorzaloon (Global Warming: A New Kind Of Scientology for the Rest Of Us.)
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