Did the earth mooove for you? (Teenager disrespects cow at 4:30 AM)

The Sun (U.K.) ^ | July 6, 2007 | ROBIN PERRIE

[Stoat]

Did the earth mooove for you?

 

 
Blondie ... identity protected and, inset, Richard, who has herd it all now

 

By ROBIN PERRIE
July 06, 2007
 
 

 

 
COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.

 

A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

By the time officers arrived he had fled but night-time patrols are on the alert in case he strikes again.

Farmer Richard Parish was stunned to hear what had happened to the cow, one of three rare English longhorns in the field.

Specialist breeder Richard, 39, even thinks he knows which of them was the victim — a looker named Blondie who is the FRIENDLIEST.

He said: “English longhorns are lovely animals — but not that lovely. My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.”

The teenager was scared off when the passer-by shouted at him at Richard’s farm in Skipwith, North Yorks. Locals in the tiny village, which has a population of less than 300, are certain he was not from the area.

Richard thinks the attacker may even have “wooed” Blondie with grub because a feed bucket had mysteriously moved from time to time.

He added: “I have got to be much more vigilant. The cows don’t seem to be spending so much time outside and are happier inside the barn at night.”

Fellow farmer Alan Patrick said: “I can’t believe it.”

Police said: “We are treating this matter seriously.”

[California Patriot]

There’s nothing funny about this. Bestiality is a hideous, evil act.

[philman_36]

Perhaps the animal refused to divulge it's sexual identity to the reporter because it feared discrimination?
Don't ask, don't tell perhaps?

[philman_36]

If it is a steer, your are queer.
Or, at the least, not that familiar with farm animal biology.

Too much fun!

[Stoat]

Perhaps the animal refused to divulge it's sexual identity to the reporter because it feared discrimination?
Don't ask, don't tell perhaps?
 

Oh Lawdy....Political Correctness in the stockyard!

(banging furry stoat head on desk)

[Slings and Arrows]

There’s nothing funny about this. Bestiality is a hideous, evil act.

Nothing funny about bestiality?

Ahem.

[philman_36]

Bestiality is a hideous, evil act.
True enough, but it's still funny in that it illustrates what depths a depraved mind will stoop to.

[Daffynition]

This emoo stuff has gone too far!

[Slings and Arrows]

If a cow is emo, does it butcher itself?

[California Patriot]

OK, that one was funny because the guy was such an idiot and got what he deserved.

[philman_36]

If ever there was a story worth poking fun at this one is it.

[Slings and Arrows]

OK, that one was funny because the guy was such an idiot and got what he deserved.

Conceded like a gentleman.

[bikerman]

maybe for you but the cow might have enjoyed it.

[Daffynition]

Slaughterhouse-Five: “Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.” (122)

[BigCinBigD]

[MARTIAL MONK]

Bestiality is a hideous, evil act.

It wasn't me. The cow crap on my shoes came from the...from the...from the...PARK!...yeah that's it...the park.

[Stoat]

Oh my....certainly puts the term “well done” in a new light.

[Daffynition]

Others that have gone before you have alleviated that problem.

[Stoat]

I hope, at least, the cow got dinner and a movie first.

From the article:

Richard thinks the attacker may even have “wooed” Blondie with grub because a feed bucket had mysteriously moved from time to time.

And who says chivalry is dead?

[decal]

“Okay, I’m confused. Was it a steer, a male bovine, or was it a cow, a female bovine?”

Well, unless Farmer Parish is a “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” fan, “Blondie” figgers to be female - and the pic on the top of the thread there shows little resemblance between the quadruped and Clint Eastwood.

[wideminded]

I wonder if this sort of thing is more common in the UK. I liked the British actor Robert Morley and someone recently gave me a semi-autobiographical book about him. At one point in the book he is describing how he visited a court in Cardiff with his actor friend Wilfrid Hyde White, and he says:

"Wilfrid .. was greatly surprised at the number of cases on the calendar dealing with the public's overfondness for sheep."