REAL NEWSPAPER ADS
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
Mother, AKC German Shepherd
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat ... Been out a while.
Better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
$300 hardly used, call Chubby.
California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
AND THE BEST ONE:
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes
$1,000 or best offer
No longer needed, got married last month.
Wife knows everything.
A man died and arrived at the Pearly Gates, to be greeted by St. Peter and a wall full of clocks. He asked St. Peter, what are these clocks? St. Peter replied, These are “lie clocks”, the hands move each time a person tells a lie. See, over here is Mother Teresa’s clock, the hands have never moved. And over here is Abe Lincoln’s clock, and one hand has only moved a little.
The man asked, Where is Hillary Clinton’s clock? St. Peter replied, Oh, it’s in Jesus’ office, He’s using it as a ceiling fan.