Posted on 08/24/2007 5:59:34 PM PDT by blam
Kenyan monkeys make 'lewd signs' at women
By Nick Wadhams in Nairobi
Last Updated: 3:10pm BST 24/08/2007
A troop of monkeys has been making "lewd signs" at women and children trying to harvest crops south of Nairobi, and the farmers feel so harassed that Kenya’s Wildlife Service is sending in animal-control teams to confront the animals.
The creatures apparently have no respect for women
The monkeys in the Kabete area even earned a mention in parliament last month when the local MP Paul Muite said his constituents feared the monkeys would sexually harass them.
"Can the minister deploy game rangers in Karai location in Kabete to deal with the monkey menace?" he asked the tourism and wildlife minister, Morris Dzoro, to laughs in the chamber.
"These creatures have clearly shown that they have no respect for women."
Gichuki Kabukuru, a spokesman for Kenya Wildlife Service, said it was well known that monkeys and baboons have a penchant for harassing women rather than men, and even gesturing at them and touching their own private parts.
"That is quite true. I will not be able to give you a scientific explanation but it has been observed in the past," he said. "Even in our camps, when men are out on patrol and the monkeys see women and children, they will become very naughty and make lewd signs at them."
The monkeys reportedly appear at dawn. They are attracted to crops that are much easier to find than the berries and fruits they must scavenge for in the forest.
According to locals, the animals have become so aggressive that women have taken to dressing up like men, wearing trousers and long-sleeve shirts.
The animals steal so much food that there has even been a food shortage.
Mr Kabukuru said the agency had deployed its problem animal unit to the area and was still deciding what to do. Kabete is a heavily forested area and is crowded with monkeys.
"This is left to the people on the ground and I am aware that they are doing something," he said. "Sometimes if you kill or capture one the rest will disappear into the forest."
They need to send the monkeys to “sensitivity training”?
I know where to send Mike Vick for punishment. Him and his 50 pit bulls.
Lewd monkeys?
I received a bimp on the head from one of those filthy minkeys!
Hey, if Bill Clinton can do it... 
who are we to complain?
Yeah, like you need... 
a /sarcasm post to realize I'm bring facetious
By Juliet Njeri
BBC News, Nachu, central Kenya
Monkeys destroyed this scarecrow, according to villagers
A troop of vervet monkeys is giving Kenyan villagers long days and sleepless nights, destroying crops and causing a food crisis.
Earlier this month, local MP Paul Muite urged the Kenyan Wildlife Service to help contain their aggressive behaviour.
But Mr Muite caused laughter when he told parliament that the monkeys had taken to harassing and mocking women in a village.
But this is exactly what the women in the village of Nachu, just south-west of Kikuyu, are complaining about.
Sexual harassment
They estimate there are close to 300 monkeys invading the farms at dawn. They eat the village's maize, potatoes, beans and other crops.
And because women are primarily responsible for the farms, they have borne the brunt of the problem, as they try to guard their crops.
They say the monkeys are more afraid of young men than women and children, and the bolder ones throw stones and chase the women from their farms.
Nachu's women have tried wearing their husbands' clothes in an attempt to trick the monkeys into thinking they are men - but this has failed, they say.
"When we come to chase the monkeys away, we are dressed in trousers and hats, so that we look like men," resident Lucy Njeri told the BBC News website
"But the monkeys can tell the difference and they don't run away from us and point at our breasts. They just ignore us and continue to steal the crops."
In addition to stealing their crops, the monkeys also make sexually explicit gestures at the women, they claim.
This monkey scarer is armed with small rocks
"The monkeys grab their breasts, and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts. We are afraid that they will sexually harass us," said Mrs Njeri.
The Kenyan Wildlife Service told the BBC that it was not unusual for monkeys to harass women and be less afraid of them than men, but they had not heard of monkeys in Kenya making sexually explicit gestures as a form of communication to humans.
The predominantly farming community is now having to receive famine relief food.
The residents report that the monkeys have killed livestock and guard dogs, which has also left the villagers living in fear, especially for the safety of their babies and children.
All the villagers' attempts to control the monkeys have failed - the monkeys evade traps, have lookouts to warn the others of impending attacks and snub poisoned food put out by the residents.
"The troop has scouts which keep a lookout from a vantage point, and when they see us coming, they give warning signals to the ones in the farms to get away," said another area resident, Jacinta Wandaga.
'Monkey squad'
The town has been warned by the Kenya Wildlife Service not to harm or kill any of the monkeys, as it is a criminal offence.
The monkey squad are not very good at scaring away the monkeys
Running out of options, residents are harvesting their crops early in an attempt to salvage what they can of this year's crop.
Unfortunately, this only invites the monkeys to break into their homes and steal the harvested crops out of their granaries.
Even the formation of a "monkey squad" to keep track of the monkeys' movements and keep them out has failed.
The area is simply too large for the few volunteers to cover, they say.
Some residents have lost hope and abandoned their homes and farms, but those who have stayed behind, like 80-year-old James Ndungu, are making a desperate plea for assistance.
"For God's sake, the government should take pity on us and move these monkeys away because we do not want to abandon our farms," he said.
"I beg you, please come and take these animals away from here so that we can farm in peace."
Oh just shoot the damn things!
The residents report that the monkeys have killed livestock and guard dogs, which has also left the villagers living in fear, especially for the safety of their babies and children.
Sounds like their guard dogs aren’t very tough. Are they in the market for some unwanted pitbulls?
Barry.
Another rousing success of the animal rights movement. Save monkeys, hurt actual people.
How do we know they weren’t flashing gang signals?
BAD MONKEY!!!!
Sounds like those monkeys need a good spanking.
They’re just going to have to quit letting BJ into the country.
damn you bet me to the Clouseau reference, but I might have used the term “swine minkeys”
Horny little devils. It’s too funny.
LMAO out loud even.
I cannot beleive Bush or Rove haven’t been blamed and Bill Clinton has been mentioned already in this article.
Well, an 18 pound Rhesus lab monkey can more or less fight a male college student to a draw, or so I'm told, so I suspect the dogs are more to be pitied than despised. Monkeys are strong little buggers.
LMAO
The residents report that the monkeys have killed livestock and guard dogs,....
&&&
A monkey killing a dog? I don’t believe this.
Howard Cosell would have thought the character on the right was a wide receiver for the Redskins.
a cultural trait hardly exclusive to monkeys
The picture is of a couple of New World monkeys. The tails are a give-away. I’m pretty sure they’re talking about baboons.
LOL! I was wondering when *that* would come up (no pun intended)!
I guess that the bad monkeys should be turned over a knee and...oh, wait...
These animals have been socially conditioned to accept false sexual stereotypes, they must have lived among an unenlightened human group at some time in their lives.
Some feminist naturalists could probably retrain them to the wild and restore them to natures knowledge that women are just as tough as men.
The same mentality as a RAP "artist".. touching themselves and acting like a monkey.. Swaying like a monkey and makeing noises.. A monkey cannot act like a human but a human can act like a monkey..
Maybe we are looking at this through our corrupted human eyes.
It could be our human women are monkeyists, and they simply are too bigoted to see the monkeys as equal suitors.
Here’s a good vid of one brave effin monkey!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTivM8UflPI&mode=related&search=
It's just a thought (plus, for some reason I think the words "monkey meat" are hysterical....go ahead....say it a few times!)
“”if the villagers start adding some fresh monkey meat to their stew pots and posting the leftover heads on stakes around the fields the monkeys might start to feel unwelcome.””
Even if the monkeys are the insensitive boors that it appears, they surely would pick up on such a clear message of social rejection.
“””Here’s a good vid of one brave effin monkey!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTivM8UflPI&mode=related&search= “””
Holy Cow!
The animals steal so much food that there has even been a food shortage.
The solution:
We used to sing a song in grade school about marinated monkey meat and greasy grimy gopher guts. It was a fun song on field trips.
Kind of paints a more vivid picture, no?
Damned horny monkeys.
Mutilated, yeah, I think that was it. It’s been a while.
“All mixed together in the middle of a muddy street.
...And me without my spoon!”
I think it's funny no matter how you sing it as long as you get to say "monkey meat"!
The version I warbled, growing up.
“Great big gobs of greasy, grimey, gopher guts.
“Mutilated monkey meat
“Little birdies bloody feet.
“All mixed together in the middle of a muddy street.
“And me without my sp-o-o-n!
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