Posted on 10/08/2007 7:42:44 PM PDT by Pharmboy
Maybe Sting should start writing more instrumentals.
The school teacher-turned-rock star topped Blender's list of the worst lyricists, thanks to lines that betray "mountainous pomposity (and) cloying spirituality," the music magazine said.
The survey, contained in the November issue that hits newsstands next week, placed Rush drummer Neil Peart at No. 2, Creed frontman Scott Stapp at No. 3, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher at No. 4, and soft-rocker Dan Fogelberg at No. 5.
Blender assailed Sting for such alleged sins as name-dropping Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokov in the Police tune "Don't Stand So Close to Me," quoting a Volvo bumper sticker ("If You Love Someone Set Them Free"), and co-opting the works of Chaucer, St. Augustine and Shakespeare.
A spokeswoman for the English rocker, who is currently in Belgium on the Police's reunion world tour, did not respond to a request for comment.
Blender described Canadian rocker Peart's lyrics as "richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science," and said Gallagher "seemed incapable of following a metaphor through a single line, let alone a whole verse."
Further down the ranks, Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant (No. 23) was derided for his Tolkienesque musings on Gollum and Mordor in "Ramble On."
Carly Simon (No. 31) was mocked for rhyming "yacht," "apricot" and "gavotte" in "You're So Vain."
Paul McCartney made No. 38, thanks in part to "Ebony and Ivory," his socially conscious duet with Stevie Wonder.
Reuters/Nielsen
Funny this should come up. I just printed out some lyrics from”La Boheme” to show my kid the English major how good lyrics can be — even when translated from Italian to English.
SACRILEGE!
How about...
CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE lyrics - Muskrat Love
(Willis Alan Ramsey)
Muskrat, Muskrat, candle light
Doin’ the town and doin’ it right in the evenin’
It’s pretty pleasin’
Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land
And they shimmy, Sam is so skinny
And they whirl and they twirl and they tango
Singin’ and jinglin’ a jangle
Float like the heavens above
Looks like Muskrat Love
Nibblin’ on bacon
Chewin’ on cheese
Sam says to Suzie
Honey, would you please be my Mrs
Suzie says, yes, with her kisses
Now, he’s ticklin’ her fancy
Rubbin’ her toes
Muzzle to muzzle
Now anything goes as they wriggle
Sue starts to giggle
And they whirled and they twirled and they tango
Singin’ and jinglin’ a jangle
Floatin’ like the heavens above
Looks like muskrat love
The lyric “De-doo-doo-doo, de-dah-dah-dah” pretty much sealed Sting’s mediocrity (in lyric writing) for me. He’s a hell of a singer though.
Nice to see somebody else note the Renaissance Faire quality of some of that Zeppelin stuff. Only Jethro Tull could out goofy them in that competition.
Renaissance Faire quality of some of that Zeppelin stuff. Only Jethro Tull could out goofy them in that competition
ELP has my vote
Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline
Will perform on guillotine
What a scene! What a scene!
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
to Alexander's Ragtime Band
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!
I always thought Dan Fogelberg wrote great lyrics
“CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE lyrics - Muskrat Love”
Someone else did that before C and T...I’ll guess America.
“I always thought Dan Fogelberg wrote great lyrics”
I agree...I like Fogelberg. The first time I went to West Point to visit my brother, some cadet had his speaker in the window playing ‘Part of the Plan’ so the whole quad could hear it. Loved it.
...I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don’t worry babe I’ve got your back
And I’ve also got your front
Now, I’d hate to waste a night like this
I’ll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you when we get there is me.
You know every guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I’ve got way more class than them
Babe that ain’t what I want.
‘Cause I’d like to see you out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I’d like to check you for ticks....
I don't know, Neil Peart can write some really good stuff that has nothing to do with science or fantasy. Rush's strength, though, mostly lies in the music itself.
Kind of embarrassing that some group released that song...worse that there was a remake. :-)
Mark
Yeah, I guess the Nabokov name drop was kind of tacky. But Neil Pert has Sting easily beat in the bad lyrics category. He’s kind of like an Aynd Rand novel set to music.
Paul Simon is probably my favorite lyricist. In an interview he said one of his approaches to writing lyrics is to start by scat singing word fragments and unformed phrases and seeing what emerges. So he starts with words as sounds, and their meaning comes later.
Scott Stapp should win this award hands down. I wouldn’t be surprised if David Cross is right and he sat outside junior highs listening to the poetry of 7th grade girls. Actually some of that is probably better than what he writes.
How about these lyrics: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1405426/replies?c=5
Any such rankings listing Sting 1st and McCartney 38th is demonstrably absurd.
Springsteen had his moments, such as choosing to rhyme "growing up" with "throwing up." I will also never forgive Bruce Johnston for writing the words "skinned our hearts and skinned our knees."
F-ckin’ Lead Balloon were part of the second Brit invasion that RUINED rock and roll with 10 minute solos and overindulgent lyrics.
I am a Paul Simon fan, although he hasn't released a great album since 1975.
Jet, Jet,
Jet, I can almost remember their funny faces
That time you told them that you were going to be marrying soon
And jet I thought the only lonely place was on the moon
Jet Jet Jet
Jet was your father as bold as the sergeant major
How come he told you that you were hardly old enough yet
And jet I thought the major was a lady suffragette
Jet Jet Jet
Ah Mater want Jet to always love me
Ah Mater want Jet to always love me
Ah Mater... much later
Jet
And Jet I thought the major was a lady suffragette
Jet Jet
Ah Mater want Jet to always love me
Ah Mater want Jet to always love me
Ah Mater... much later
Jet with the wind in your hair
Of a thousand laces
Climb on the back and we’ll go for a ride in the sky
And Jet I thought that the major was a little lady suffragette
Jet-Jet-Jet
And Jet you know I thought you was a little lady suffragette
Jet
A little lady
My little lady... yes
You printed the lyrics to Jet, and I can sit here giggling at the, but you know what? Reading the lyrics, I heard the song in my head, and I thought of being a kid in grade school, listening to "big kids' music", and production and such things were not even on my radar. This doesn't mean McCartney's stuff is good--it's overblown and goofy. But that doesn't mean I don't like it.
In fact, most rock and roll is garbage. When it's good, though, it taps into that spirit of youth, of imagination about what one's life could be life somewhere, when X, Y or Z happens, be it meeting the right girl or going to The City or whatever.
Entertainment journalism these days is all about top ten or bottom ten lists because no one can find a way to write about this stuff that's currently playing on the radio. I work with kids so I hear too much of this stuff and don't care for 99% of it, but can I honestly say "Jet" or whatever is better? No, I can't.
But I liked this junk. It was the soundtrack to my youth. It's like a time machine for me, and while personal responses don't have anything to do with quality, it has everything to do with meaning. This stuff means something to me, no matter how bad some or most of it may be.
“America” did that song first.
“Graceland” is a one of the great 80’s CD’s. The African musicians gave the CD what Simon had lost over the years. Even though there are a few talk sing songs on it. He used to write fantastic melodies.
You now he knows just exactLY what the facts is.
He ain't gonna let those two-OO escape justice.
He makes his living off of THE people's taxes.
{And that's the last we hear about ol' Det. Mack)
The B52s managed to work the word “narwal” into the song “Rock Lobster. Ya gotta admire that.
You are correct! It was America...
Hey, I thought that was terrific - worth of Kipling or Poe.
“How about...
CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE lyrics - Muskrat Love
(Willis Alan Ramsey)”
AND they had the audacity to sing this bilge at HRH Queen Elizabeth’s royal gala.
Battle of Evermore is freakin’ awesome. So’s Blind Guardian’s Lord of the Rings.
Either of these beats out anything popular from at least the last 20 years.
NEW TAGLINE!
ping
Stink
Blender needs to take another listen to the 80s and 90s era of one-hit pop wonders and find the real worst lyricists.
I liked the Sinatra version better:
"You are black, and I am white
Life's an Eskimo Pie, let's.. take a bite!
That was groovy thinkin'
Lincoln, when you set them freeeeeee...
We all know
Cats are the same
Maine to Mexico.
Good. Bad.
Guys and chicks!"
Stevie Wonder: "I am dark, and you are light."
Frank Sinatra: "You are blind as a bat, and I have sight!
Side by side, you are my amigo,
Negro, let's not fiiiiiiiight!"
Stevie Wonder: "Ebony, ivory Living in perfect harmony."
Frank Sinatra: "Salt and pepper,
Sammy and Dean
Stevie and me are peachy keen!"
Stevie Wonder: "You are white."
Frank Sinatra: "You are black - and who cares!"
Who cares, baby!
Joe Piscopo and Eddie Murphy?
LOL! However, I never thought of you, TJ, as being “overly sweet,” just overly funny.
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