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***The OFFICIAL Weekend Singles Thread*** November 9-11, 2007 - Holidays & Dealing With Loneliness

Posted on 11/09/2007 7:25:47 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger

Welcome to the Singles Thread!

Good evening, everyone! It's hard to believe it, but Thanksgiving is just a couple of weeks away, and after that, we're only six weeks out from Christmas! 2008 is just around the bend, and 2007 will soon become obsolete.

For many of us, the holidays are a time to visit family or friends...when the very air you breathe seems laden with Yuletide cheer.

But with the love and joy we observe in others, for those of us who are single, there is no doubt that there is a slightly bitter edge of loneliness tainting that happiness. There is family love, to be sure. There is Christmas spirit in plenty. But lurking on the edge is that quiet ache for someone to share our innermost self with.

This not being said in the interest of being depressing, of course! It's just a facet of the upcoming holidays that I know I don't look forward to, and one or two others among the group have pointed out. (Tonight's topic is by request, actually.)

So, what are your plans for the holidays? If there are kids in your family, how might you handle their plans? What do you do to handle any loneliness and how would you handle being alone at Christmas, or Thanksgiving or New Years? How do you handle your kids' pain?


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KEYWORDS: singles
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1 posted on 11/09/2007 7:25:47 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger
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To: 38special; aft_lizard; abishai; A knight without armor; Alberta's Child; Allegra; Amityschild; ...
Friday Night Singles



Please freepmail DaveLoneRanger to be added / removed





Question: How soon is too soon to start playing Christmas music? All the stores in my area have already decked their halls with tinsel and lights and Christmas trees, and the other night, Burl Ives was hollering at me from across the parking lot to "have a holly jolly Christmas."

Personally, I can't wait to start up my Christmas music collection. But I feel it's too soon to start up any time before November 20 at least. What do you think? Is it too soon? Or are you really ready to kick into the Christmas season early this year?
2 posted on 11/09/2007 7:30:10 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: DaveLoneRanger
I am fortunate to have gotten married earlier this year, but I’m with you and the others in spirit.

A conservative gal. That’s the only way to go. If you can’t meet them at church, then why not here?

Regardless, it's definitely fun to hang out with cool conservative women. I would rather there were many more. It seems the balance of conservatism rests with men, at least according to the polls.

3 posted on 11/09/2007 7:34:10 PM PST by ConservativeMind
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To: ConservativeMind
You are fortunate. Tell us, how did being married enhance your Christmas season?
4 posted on 11/09/2007 7:35:22 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: DaveLoneRanger

We generally didn’t start listening to Christmas music until fairly late — for one thing, as Catholics, we celebrate Christmas for more than just Christmas Day, and it’s not like all the decorations and music and all go away on the 26th. ;-) Of course, people look at you like you have two heads if you dare to play Christmas music in January, but hey, most folks think Catholics are pretty bizarre anyhow...

Liturgically speaking, Advent is more of a looking forward to the birth of Christ, and the real party and celebration of His birth doesn’t happen until Christmas Eve. So there’s a bit of a distinction between Advent music and Christmas music.


5 posted on 11/09/2007 7:53:20 PM PST by RosieCotton ("Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." -- G.K. Chesterton [NaNo Count 17345/50000])
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To: DaveLoneRanger
This will be our first Christmas, married. However, I have been enjoying common learning experiences with my wife. We see almost everything the same, but occasionally we approach problems in different ways.

I enjoy watching her do things. She is competent and good-hearted. Should we have kids, I know she will be a fine mother, too.

God can truly work in people. It’s great when you see it.

I had always admired great relationships. I was seldom, if ever, jealous of a great relationship. I really just wanted more people to have them, myself included. However, I was occasionally jealous of guys who had found a great woman. Great women make standing for all the right things, growing in all the better ways, more worth it. You know that a great woman chooses a man she thinks will be a great partner. What an honor as that guy, I thought!

We need to have healthy relationships with healthy people, bringing a healthy person into the relationship. It sometimes seems you are walking the better path and may never find the right one—this may be true. But a good woman is worth the wait.

This Christmas will surely be great. Not because of material wealth, but because she and I lead simple lives and are grateful for everything over and above simple needs, along with being grateful for the simple stuff.

We are two low-maintenance people who enjoy each other and being there for others at the same time.

I hope each of you find such a compatible person.

6 posted on 11/09/2007 7:59:21 PM PST by ConservativeMind
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Oh, as for loneliness, I had one year when I was overseas in the military where no one invited me for Thanksgiving and I didn’t feel like I could invite myself...I’ve never been good at that. I dropped a few “sad and lonely” hints, but no one picked up on ‘em.

I had a microwaved turkey TV dinner in my room, and it rained all day, and my parents were in a time zone six hours away so I really couldn’t talk to them except briefly, fairly early in the day. It was the most pathetic Thanksgiving *ever*.

Every one since that has seemed absolutely outstanding in comparison. ;-)


7 posted on 11/09/2007 8:06:30 PM PST by RosieCotton ("Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." -- G.K. Chesterton [NaNo Count 17345/50000])
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To: DaveLoneRanger
A whole month ago people are already forcing me to lie. It bothers me. It starts when they ask what am I doing for Thanksgiving and soon it will be Christmas. I know what is coming but I tell the truth because I hate to lie. I say I’m going to stay home and rest. That is so true. I love to be cozy at home and cook and eat. I mean I really enjoy the holidays. But that is inconceivable to others. That honest answer is never good enough. We have to go through this annual ritual of them saying -oh, why don’t you come to my place? Come on, you SHOULD come. I hate that. I am not a homeless kitten. My home is just as much a home as their place is. They don’t give up. Just to escape this humiliating tradition I end up agreeing knowing that I’ll cancel at the last minute to just shut them up. Or I search my mind for some stupid excuse like I’m having company. The truth is not good enough. At this stage of the game one would think I’d be past this junk.
8 posted on 11/09/2007 8:16:28 PM PST by A knight without armor
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To: DaveLoneRanger
It is court ordered that I get three hours with my daughter on Thanksgiving and three hours on Christmas. The boys look forward to being their and the older one will bring his wife and grandbaby.

This will be the most "complete" holiday season in about 4 years.

9 posted on 11/09/2007 8:17:47 PM PST by Kate of Spice Island (Hey! Where did my tagline go? It was just here a minute ago...)
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To: DaveLoneRanger

The best cure for lonliness is to be with other people....LOL....some people will charge ya $500 an hour for that kind of advice...I offered it up for free.


10 posted on 11/09/2007 8:33:02 PM PST by fkabuckeyesrule
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To: DaveLoneRanger
****How soon is too soon to start playing Christmas music?****

The local christian radio station played Christmas music on Halloween. It was just for one day only. They called it a "treat."

11 posted on 11/09/2007 8:34:26 PM PST by fkabuckeyesrule
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To: DaveLoneRanger

We have a local radio station that has been playing Christmas music non stop since some time in October. That’s a bit too early for me.

Then tonight I went to visit my daughter who is away at college and we decided to go to the local mall-I was shocked to see that the mall Santa was already there and he was doing pretty good business as there was a fairly long line of kiddos waiting to see him.


12 posted on 11/09/2007 10:11:17 PM PST by slugbug
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To: fkabuckeyesrule
As a classical music fanatic, I have a series of pieces I play for the holiday season.

For Thanksgiving, I put on Charles Ives' 2nd Symphony, which is about as American as you can get.

During Advent, I put on John Rutter's "Magnificat", which is a gem with a Mexican flavor. Then I move to Brahms' Marienbilder, a collection of medieval poems set a capella with chorus.

On the first day of winter, I do Schubert's Winterreise, which is one of the most depressing vocal song cycles ever written but is an absolute masterpiece. I can only bear to listen to that once a year.

On Christmas Eve, I put on the complete Tchaikovsky "Nutcracker" ballet, followed by Charpentier's "Midnight Mass", a late Renaissance/early Baroque piece.

For Christmas, I listen to the Baltimore Consort's Christmas disc, which is a collection of English Renaissance tunes for the season. Then I listen to Handel's "Messiah" in the 1981 Hogwood edition with period instruments and utilizing genuine Baroque performance practices.

Not bad for one who stays alone on the holidays.

13 posted on 11/09/2007 10:14:50 PM PST by Publius (A = A)
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To: A knight without armor
Don't be ashamed. My (totally dysfunctional) family is 3000 miles away on the East Coast, and I thoroughly enjoy my Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years alone in Seattle. I have no desire to be with people and their families, and I love the order, peace and quiet my home provides.

Just give me my classical music, and I'm happy.

14 posted on 11/09/2007 10:16:52 PM PST by Publius (A = A)
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To: Publius

That is cool. Everything I know about Seattle I learned on Frasier.


15 posted on 11/09/2007 10:44:21 PM PST by A knight without armor
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To: DaveLoneRanger
A cogent topic indeed. Since my wife's passing (Christmas was always the most special day of the year for her) the holidays have not been so joyous. She had six daughters, and since the first Christmas after her death, I have seen very little of them, or the grandchildren.

My own daughter (from my first marriage) now lives with me, and so we will have some sort of family Christmas this year. But my son lives in another state, and won't be able to be here with his two sons.

16 posted on 11/10/2007 6:15:45 AM PST by LantzALot (Yes, itís my opinion. No, itís not humble.)
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To: DaveLoneRanger
Christmas comes far too soon in shopping malls ... and is far too secular. We hear "Holly Jolly Christmas" instead of "Joy to the World."

Now that we're on the subject, we now have shopping malls instead of "downtown."

In the time and place I grew up, the Christmas season officially began the day after Thanksgiving. A downtown department store had a huge lighted Santa Claus mounted on the outside wall, complete with sleigh and all eight reindeer. (Rudolph was added later.) The flashing lights gave the illusion of gliding runners and a cracking whip. At dark on Thanksgiving Friday, the display was turned on for the first time.

This was the only store in town where the kids could line up to see Santa. And, just like the boy in "A Christmas Story," I remember the year I just had to have a Red Ryder BB gun. I got it, along with the admonishment, "Be careful, or you'll put your eye out."

17 posted on 11/10/2007 6:25:37 AM PST by LantzALot (Yes, itís my opinion. No, itís not humble.)
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To: slugbug

Hi slugbug. I see you’re from the part of the country where I grew up. Still have family there — a sis in my home town of Ft. Wayne and brother in W. Lafayette, where his wife works for Purdue. I also not a similar observation. (I’m up at post # 17.)


18 posted on 11/10/2007 6:42:14 AM PST by LantzALot (Yes, itís my opinion. No, itís not humble.)
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To: RosieCotton

You do bring back memories, Rosie. I had 30 years with a true Catholic, and Christmas was always the most special time of year. The grandchildren were given Advent Calendars, and the Christmas Tree — and Christmas spirit — lasted until the Feast of the Epiphany.


19 posted on 11/10/2007 6:45:57 AM PST by LantzALot (Yes, itís my opinion. No, itís not humble.)
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To: LantzALot

My daughter goes to Purdue so the Lafayette Mall is where I saw the Santa last night. I just think it is way too early-let’s get Thanksgiving over with, then we can start the Christmas stuff!


20 posted on 11/10/2007 7:24:51 AM PST by slugbug
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