Well..this guy would undoubtedly eat a bat in a blizzard. I'm sure that he wouldn't mind eating a few of his stage hands if he was in a bind...
Posted on 01/07/2008 8:03:35 PM PST by DogByte6RER
Well, it depends on how you kill them, sir.
see previous post’s link.
FREEP THIS POLL ***PING!*** FRmail me if you want to be added or removed from the Fearless Poll-Freeping Freepers Ping list. And be sure to ping me to any polls that need Freepin', if I miss them. (looks like a medium volume list) (gordongekko909, founder of the pinglist, stays on the list until his ghost signs up for the list)
(Scene: The interior of a lifeboat. Seagulls are crying.)
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: That’s a rather personal question, sir.
Sailor #1: (low voice)You stupid git. I meant how long has it been in the lifeboat? You’ve destroyed the atmosphere now.
Sailor #2: I’m sorry.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Start again.
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can’t go on much longer. (low voices) I didn’t think I destroyed the atmosphere.
Sailor #1: Shut up.
Sailor #2: Well, I don’t think I did.
Sailor #1: ‘Course you did.
Sailor #2: (aside, to 3) Did you think I destroyed the atmosphere?
Sailor #3: Yes I think you did.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Shut up!
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #4: Have we started again? (slap)
Sailor #1: STILL no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can’t go on much longer, sir. We haven’t eaten since the fifth day.
Sailor #5: We’re done for, we’re done for!
Sailor #1: Shut up, Morley.
Sailor #2: We’ve just got to keep hoping. Someone may find us.
Sailor #4: How we feeling, Captain?
Sailor #5: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.
Sailor #2: We can’t hold out much longer.
Sailor #5: Listen...chaps...there’s still a chance. I’m...done for, I’ve...got a gamy leg and I’m going fast; I’ll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you’d better eat me.
Sailor #1: Eat you, sir?
Sailor #5: Yes. Eat me.
Sailor #2: Iiuuhh! With a gamy leg?
Sailor #5: You didn’t eat the leg, Thompson. There’s still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
Sailor #3: It’s not just the leg, sir.
Sailor #5: What do you mean?
Sailor #5: Well, sir...it’s just that -
Sailor #5: Why don’t you want to eat me?
Sailor #3: I’d rather eat Johnson, sir! (points to sailor #4)
Sailor #2: So would I, sir.
Sailor #5: I see.
Sailor #4: Well that’s settled then...everyone’s gonna eat me!
Sailor #1: Uh, well.
Sailor #5: What, sir?
Sailor #1:: No, no you go ahead, please, I won’t.......
Sailor #4: Oh nonsense, sir, you’re starving; ducking.
Sailor #1: No, no, it’s not that.
Sailor #2: What’s the matter with Johnson, sir?
Sailor #1: Well, he’s not kosher.
Sailor #3: That depends how we kill him, sir.
Sailor #1: Yes, that’s true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I’d rather eat Hodges.
Sailor #2: Oh well, all right.
Sailor #5: I still prefer Johnson.
Sailor #5: I wish you’d all stop bickering and eat me.
Sailor #2: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we’ll have Johnson cold for supper.
Sailor #1: Good thinking, Hodges.
Sailor #4: And we’ll finish off with the peaches. (picks up a tin of . peaches)
Sailor #3: And we can start off with the avocados. (picks up two avocados) Sailor #1: Waitress! (a waitress walks in) We’ve decided now, we’re going to have leg of Hodges...
(Boos off-screen. Cut to a letter.)
Voice Over: Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
Something they always leave out of this discussion is that there is a big moral difference between committing murder for food and eating the body of someone deceased for other reasons.
Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself after that little soccer team flight I was on across the Andes...
76 percent.
Of course all my best friends are women.
65% chance for me. The good thing about being in a blizzard situation is that the cold would preserve the meat and you could take your time to rationalize things. On a desert island, you’d be forced to consume the corpse before it went putrid. Not that I’ve spent much time thinking about it...
Alfred Packer was convicted of cannibalism and sentenced to hang by Judge Melville B. Gerry.
"Stand up, yah man-eatin' sonofabitch, and receive your sentence!" the judge exclaimed. "Thar were only seven Democrats in all of Hinsdale County and you ate five of them!"
My score was 33%. Seems the test is off by about 33%.
We don’t have blizzards.
You are 61% likely to eat your buddies!
When I first saw that skit I fell out of the chair at the end. The skit itself was dumb, but the indignant officer at the end knocked me out.
69%. if they were already dead and my life depended on it, yes i’d eat them. so would you all.
Well..this guy would undoubtedly eat a bat in a blizzard. I'm sure that he wouldn't mind eating a few of his stage hands if he was in a bind...
ping
Wow! I’m a sick bastard! I came in at 61%! lol! (My children will be reassured...)
Speaking of children...
Try taking this survey:
“How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take In A Fight”
FR Thread at:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1943056/posts
Direct link to survey at:
http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/
Depending upon how you score on this one, your kids may have a new found respect for you!
I'd never be party to a Donner dinner party.
0%. It said 30% but I say “bull ****”
I don’t want the cholesterol.
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