Posted on 01/25/2008 5:16:36 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Ping to Post #17.
Top Ten Barack Obama Campaign Promises presented by Senator Barack Obama
10. “To keep the budget balanced, I’ll rent the Situation Room for sweet sixteens”
09. “I will double your tax money at the craps table”
08. “Appoint Mitt Romney Secretary of Lookin’ Good”
07. “If you bring a gator to the White House, I’ll wrassle it”
06. “I’ll put Regis on the nickel”
05. “I’ll rename the tenth month of the year ‘Barack-tober’”
04. “I won’t let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model”
03. “I’ll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece”
02. “Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear”
01. “Three words: Vice President Oprah”
Good — then I won’t have to do ‘em. ;-)
Hey TT — Happy Friday!
Too close to truth to be funny...
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES
PASTOR’S ASS.
The bishop was a quite annoyed by this, so he ordered the pastor to get
Rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline
The next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
This was too much for the bishop so he informed
the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so
She sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
The bishop suffered a mild stroke. So he ordered the nun to buy back
The donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . Being concerned about public opinion
Can bring you much grief and misery . .
Even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be a lot happier
And live longer!
Have a nice day!
Happy Friday Sweet Star!!! :)
Good morning, Star!
IOTP
Man,”what are you doing?”
Wife,” I’m moving to California. They pay $100 for sex out there.”
Man,”Thats crazy. How are you going to live on a hundred dollars a month?”
Hey lady — how’s it going? *HUG*
LOL!! And you got the 50 with that!
A new retiree greeter at Walmart just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.
But he was a good worker, real sharp, so the boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.
Finally, one day he called him into the office for a talk. “Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”
“Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it.”
“Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear. It’s odd though, your coming in late. I know you’re retired from the Army. What did they say if you came in late there?”
“They said, “Good morning, General.”
“Heavens no, we bought it.”
“Then why don’t you drive it away.”
“We can’t drive.”
“Then why did you buy it?”
“We were told that if we bought a used car here we’d get screwed. So we’re just waiting.”
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