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You May Be A Redneck Pilot If...
http://www.dustinbaine.com/aviation_jokes.htm ^ | unknown | unknown

Posted on 02/03/2008 12:53:35 PM PST by Professional Engineer

You May Be A Redneck Pilot If...

... your stall warning plays "Dixie."
... your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
... you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
... you've ever used moonshine as avgas.
... you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
... you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
... your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
... you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
... just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
... you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
... you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
... you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
... you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
... you wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman "Yankee."
... you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"
... there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
... when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
... you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
... you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
... you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase "That's a big 10-4!"
... you typically answer female controllers with titles like "sugar" or "little darlin'."
... she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a redneck.
... you have ever used a relief tube as a spitoon.
... you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.
... you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide.
... the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains "Case of Bud."
... your go/no-go checklist includes the words "Skoal" or "Redman."


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: aviation; humor; redneck

1 posted on 02/03/2008 12:53:37 PM PST by Professional Engineer
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To: Samwise; alfa6; SAMWolf; snippy_about_it; Peanut Gallery; Wneighbor
Photobucket
2 posted on 02/03/2008 12:55:19 PM PST by Professional Engineer (www.pinupsforvets.com --- In other news, K7UGA, what a dude.)
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To: Professional Engineer

Or if you’ve ever landed on a runway that was waaaay wider than it was long.


3 posted on 02/03/2008 1:14:45 PM PST by newheart (The Truth? You can't handle the Truth. But He can handle you.)
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To: Professional Engineer

bump


4 posted on 02/03/2008 1:27:57 PM PST by Christian4Bush (Commit to battling liberals until hell freezes over. After that, fight them on ice.)
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To: Professional Engineer

When I was young I worked as a pilot. Dad would cut the wood and I would pilot.


5 posted on 02/03/2008 1:40:03 PM PST by org.whodat (What's the difference between a Democrat and a republican????)
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To: org.whodat

lol


6 posted on 02/03/2008 1:41:49 PM PST by HoosierHawk
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To: FredHead47

Ping...
With love from Tennessee.........


7 posted on 02/03/2008 2:45:17 PM PST by dfwddr
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To: Professional Engineer
"...just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"

Now...I don't care who you are...Thats Funny!
8 posted on 02/03/2008 3:31:42 PM PST by Tainan (Talk is cheap. Silence is golden. All I got is brass...lotsa brass.)
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To: Professional Engineer
SR-71 to ATC:

Pilot: XX center, YY is requesting FL600.
ATC: Ok YY, it's clear. Climb and maintain FL600, if you can.
Pilot: Roger, descending to FL600.
9 posted on 02/03/2008 3:48:03 PM PST by Tainan (Talk is cheap. Silence is golden. All I got is brass...lotsa brass.)
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To: Professional Engineer

10 posted on 02/03/2008 4:03:54 PM PST by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: Tainan

I like this one too.


11 posted on 02/03/2008 4:06:55 PM PST by Professional Engineer (www.pinupsforvets.com --- In other news, K7UGA, what a dude.)
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To: Daffynition

LOL

Dig the porch light at the wing root.


12 posted on 02/03/2008 4:08:48 PM PST by Professional Engineer (www.pinupsforvets.com --- In other news, K7UGA, what a dude.)
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To: Professional Engineer

Or this one......The pilot says....”THAT was the SHORTEST Runway I’ve EVER seen!”....and the co-pilot says, “But look how WIDE it is”!


13 posted on 02/03/2008 4:09:21 PM PST by Ann Archy (Abortion.....The Human Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
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To: newheart

Sorry, I didn’t read yours first.


14 posted on 02/03/2008 4:09:44 PM PST by Ann Archy (Abortion.....The Human Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
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To: Daffynition

http://www.airplanehomes.com/


15 posted on 02/03/2008 4:15:14 PM PST by Professional Engineer (www.pinupsforvets.com --- In other news, K7UGA, what a dude.)
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To: Professional Engineer

Very cool ... and you can have it rotate. My, my ... I’d like to see what P&Z would say about a construction project like this in my quintessential NE village. I doubt it would fly. ;-D


16 posted on 02/03/2008 5:10:23 PM PST by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: Daffynition; Peanut Gallery
Just think what the yacht club set would do if you eased up to the pier in the Cosmic Muffin.


17 posted on 02/03/2008 7:29:15 PM PST by Professional Engineer (www.pinupsforvets.com --- In other news, K7UGA, what a dude.)
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To: Ann Archy

Great minds, I suppose. :-)


18 posted on 02/03/2008 9:06:44 PM PST by newheart (The Truth? You can't handle the Truth. But He can handle you.)
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To: Professional Engineer
LOL ... our junk is someone else's treasure ...


19 posted on 02/04/2008 2:43:38 AM PST by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: Professional Engineer

e-mailing to hubby. :^)


20 posted on 02/04/2008 6:04:02 AM PST by Samwise ("I have a zero tolerance policy for stupidity.")
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To: dfwddr

Come by the house and visit with us sometime soon.


21 posted on 02/04/2008 5:23:45 PM PST by FredHead47
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To: Professional Engineer

You have met or worked for Grace L. Ferguson and know some who has one of her doors.


22 posted on 02/06/2008 12:35:47 AM PST by ThomasThomas (Pro football is just a nanny state version of rugby!)
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To: Professional Engineer

23 posted on 02/06/2008 12:42:44 AM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Joe 6-pack

24 posted on 02/06/2008 12:44:26 AM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Joe 6-pack

25 posted on 02/06/2008 12:45:50 AM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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