Maybe the light was out and in the dark it looked better than his girlfriend/wife.
Posted on 03/08/2008 8:47:46 AM PST by fweingart
A 32-year-old man has been arrested in Wiltshire for allegedly simulating a sex act with a lamp-post.
The incident is the latest in a spate of bizarre sex crimes involving inanimate objects.(See articles that follow)
The incident was witnessed by children.
A police spokesman said officers were called to a road in the town of Westbury on February 16 after they received a report of a man acting indecently outside a block of flats "occupied by several young women".
When they arrived they arrested him on suspicion of outraging public decency.
The man was released on bail, but following an investigation into the incident and several interviews with witnesses - including children - he was recalled for questioning. He has since been re-released pending further inquiries.
The Wiltshire police spokesman said: "We are awaiting a decision as to whether there should be a prosecution".
The incident echoes a similar case last week when a Polish contractor was caught on his knees with a vacuum cleaner in a hospital staff canteen.
A security guard walked in on the man in the middle of a compromising act with the Henry Hoover appliance. He later claimed he was cleaning his underpants. He has now been fired.
Last year, Robert Stewart was placed on probation for three years after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.
The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down when two cleaners walked in on him at the Aberley House Hostel in south west Scotland.
He paused only to ask, "What is it, hen?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex".
Worker caught having sex with Henry Hoover
By Megan Levy Last Updated: 2:38am GMT 04/03/2008
A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.
How About That: More weird news from around the world The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital's staff canteen.
The man claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover
A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its "nose".
According to the Sun, the contractor was supposed to be locking up the building site near the Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital where his firm is refurbishing administration offices.
The security guard, suitably horrified, told the man to "clean himself and the hoover" before asking him to leave and informing his bosses.
When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland". He has since been fired.
The man's employers, HG Construction, told The Sun: "That behaviour is not acceptable, though it gave a few people a laugh".
Henry Hoover is described on a cleaning website as "famous for its looks, but under its fascia lies a powerful, reliable vacuum cleaner ready to go time and time again."
The man is not the first person to be caught in the act with an inanimate object.
Last year, Robert Stewart was placed on probation for three years after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.
The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down when two cleaners walked in on him at the the Aberley House Hostel in south west Scotland.
He paused only to ask, "What is it, hen?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex". The court was told that alcohol was the cause of his problems.
Man who had sex with bicycle sentenced
By Auslan Cramb, Scottish Correspondent Last Updated: 2:48am GMT 15/11/2007
A "cycle-sexualist" caught half-naked in a compromising position with his bicycle has been put on probation for three years.
The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down and when the women opened the door he paused only to ask, "What is it, hen?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex".
The police were called and at a hearing last month Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders' register after admitting a sexual breach of the peace.
The case has prompted criticism of "loony British laws", but he ended up in court because the "shocked" cleaners said they had knocked repeatedly before opening the door.
At Ayr sheriff court on the west coast of Scotland today, Mr Stewart was sentenced for the rare offence and for a separate breach of the peace charge for threatening a member of staff in a hostel in the town.
The court was told that alcohol was the cause of his problems, and he was placed under the supervision of a social worker and warned that if he re-offended he would be sent to prison.
Sheriff Colin Miller added: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'. "
Mr Stewart, an unemployed bachelor, has described the incident as a misunderstanding caused by too much drink, and said claims that he was having sex with the bike were "a load of rubbish".
His solicitor Gerry Tierney described his client as a "sad little man" who was trying to tackle his drink problem.
He added: "When the cleaners came in, he thought he was having fun with them. He does not think it is funny any more, and he has had to move home three times because he has been targeted because of the offence."
Mr Stewart's exploits have also earned him multiple dishonourable mentions on the internet.
After the story appeared on Telegraph.co.uk, it spread to Canada, the USA, South Africa and Australia.
On chat forums north and south of the equator participants continue to ponder some of the issues raised by the case.
Has the bicycle in question been taken into protective custody, asked one?
Other contributors wanted to know if he had been banned from bike sheds in his hometown of Ayr, whether the bicycle in question was over 16 years old, and exactly what sex with a bicycle involves.
But answers came there none today as Mr Stewart left court with his head bowed and sought to hurry out of the limelight.
The important thing is did he ask the lamp-post “was it good for you too?”
For a moment, I thought Bill Clinton had been arrested.
A little while back a guy was arrested in a hotel I believe for having sex with a bike. I dunno how these people have sex with bikes or lamps though.
He did, however, light a cigarette.
Sex with a lamp? That doesn’t seem very bright.
Sex with a hoover has got to suck.
Yeah... bike jokes fail me...
Were there sub-zero temperatures, and did the tip get stuck... -er, never mind.
The purpose of this bizarre act was, no doubt, to post the video on YouTube.
Too bad the 480V conductors to the streetlight were insulated...
He was working the pole.
What, you never heard the "Giggling Nuns" joke? What, do you live in a cave?
It is merely the result of too much house work and a shrew of a wife.
Got caught in the spokes.
What a sick freakin world we live in.
Tetanus is now an STD.
51 year old*
“What is it, hen?”*
Resumed simulating sex with the inanimate object*
All the stories contain these phrases.
Odd.
shocking...i wish.
Oh no, I’ve heard it! I just didn’t think I’d get away with more than a loose reference...
Oh. did the guy having sex with the bike at least leave the seat up?
We had one arrested with a dog here in South Texas. Haven’t heard what the DNA lab results showed. They were trying to figure out what to chsrge him with.
Must have been a good ride...
Since when does public masturbation with an inanimate object get journalistically transformed into “having sex with”?
Why not? Journalists routinely get off on banging
a typewriter.
Bada Boom.
*Man arrested for ‘having sex with lamp-post’*
Why wasn’t Lindsay Lohan arrested too?
This post is useless without pics!
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Sex with a hoover has got to suck.
Yeah... bike jokes fail me...”
Bike jokes aren't “spoken” often. So it's hard to “peddle” them as funny.
Watch how you handle your bar.
My friend would say this sound like her first husband.
Jokes like that really tire me.
I wonder if it was one of those enticing race-bike types. It was probably asking for it.
Bike jokes aren’t “spoken” often. So it’s hard to “peddle” them as funny.
Jokes like that really tire me.
Didn’t mean to rattle your chain. Now I’m taking a brake from these Bike jokes.
“You light up my life...”
I don't know about that -- As it turns out, he was hard of hearing. In sex ed classes, whenever they mentioned bisexuals, he thought they said bicycles.
Sounds like a plot by the illumi-naughty.
I think he just got a little confused.
The safe that he tried it with was too big to get his arms around, and he figured that the lamp post might work out better...
"Tard" refers to the ping list members and not to the subject of the thread!
List of Ping Lists
LOL!!
Was it a male or female bike?
And did anybody ever find out if the lamp post respected him in the morning?
These men should of asked such objects for their consent first.
Hey ....pole musta had some awesome bulbs on it !
How could it be illegal to have sex with your bike in a hotel room?
Sick and bizarre, yes. But illegal?
"Hey look, I'm a bicycle pump!"
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