Posted on 04/12/2008 5:13:34 PM PDT by chasio649
Women are increasingly rejecting a desperate, Bridget Jones-like search for a perfect partner, preferring instead to enjoy their single status and refusing to compromise by settling for 'Mr Mediocre'. Caroline Davies reports
Sunday April 13, 2008 The Observer
They are successful, spirited and single and their growing numbers are contributing to a major change in the make-up of the traditional British household. 'Freemales' - manless women who are happy to remain so for the present at least - are now a force to be reckoned with and are overturning the dated Bridget Jones image of the lonely woman staring despondently at an empty Chardonnay bottle.
(Excerpt) Read more at lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk ...
Curling up to a $ bill and fair weather friends is hardly a satisfying life. When the job goes south and the “friends” disappear you are left with yourself. As for me, whether it’s good times or bad, we’re together.
More evidence of the decline of the once greatest empire on Earth.
I am crushed. I am quite sure that all the ladies Caroline Davies writes about as well as she, herself are "absolutely fabulous" and that none are just "keeping up appearances". We know all about the glory that is the British Freemale.
I am crushed. I am quite sure that all the ladies Caroline Davies writes about as well as she, herself are "absolutely fabulous" and that none are just "keeping up appearances". We know all about the glory that is the British Freemale.
FReerider ping?
Oy vey.
They staked out a sterile life, rather a no life, it is fun for a while but what happens when you hit 35?
No joy in those folks.
FREERIDERS are full of happiness.
Interesting but not new. There are very few people male or female who wish to not find a mate. They are the exception and they end up largely old and unfulfilled with no grand children and like a withered branch that never bore fruit soon dry broken and forgotten. I know several women who I hold dearly as friends but it is painfully clear they are so very alone. Some are jaded after having bad relationships, some who chased their careers till now they have only their single bedroom apartment and some pets. It is the world we live in that is unnatural in the sense it has come to encourage men and women to chase that which separates them from doing what gaining resources was from the beginning really about and that is living life and building families not dieing painfully alone and unfulfilled.
I’m not saying that one can not be fulfilled and be alone I’m just saying that most people will never be and if they are fooled into believing that they will be fine then the night they find themselves hugging a pillow in the dark crying so very very alone after most of their friends have went on and lived their lives and have had grand children and a companion to share the twilight years with will be all the more bitter. The messiness of relationships may not be easy but those that choose to stand on the sidelines thinking themselves superior are only fooling themselves.
“Will you still need me? Will you still feed me? When I’m 64?”
Sorry, Sir Paul. I guess the answer is “No.” Heather has your millions and your progeny and is now the Poster Child for “Freemales United.” Nice work if you can get it.
I have absolutely no pity for women that bought into the “feminist” cr@p of YESTERYEAR.
My motto has always been, “It ain’t braggin’ if you can do it.” (While dancing backwards, in high heels.) ;)
Because "They" are all perfect...
This is the prelude to the 2030 story about, "Bitter, Childless Women Facing Menopause"
Well said.
women never needed men anyway, right? didn’t you pay attention to the women’s studies class?
Yep,
either way you’re in trouble-—
Might as well stay single, work to be happy and just ignore those who try to meddle in her biznezz. :)
Not everyone is meant to be with someone either...
I mean, yeah, the majority of folks are better off with someone, but there are those who are far better off alone...and happier.
Yes, it’s true. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it’s not true. And yes, I’ve been married and single, and single far far far is better than married. And a lot of it had to do with a very high need for solitude.
Muslim women will be happy to have the babies who will take over Britain.
Then these “Freemales” will find they can’t go out in public without a male relative. Ironic.
LOL That’s what I’m talking about!!
“I live in the solitude that is painful in youth but delicious in the years of maturity.” - Einstein
Exactly!
Actually, I respect them for not trying to be in a relationship just for the sake of having a boyfriend/husband/whatever. Too many times I’ve seen friends’ relationships end up badly because they’re terrified of being single that they’ll even date men who are not right for them, so it’s all about realising you’ll be happier single than in a lousy relationship where one (or both) parties cares more about having a partner than the partner themself.
Unnngh.
Duped out of motherhood
Daily Mail ^ | 08:54am 24th February 2006 | KATE MULVEY
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1585427/posts
That’s depressing.
Ah, you described me. I was married a long, long time. Single for five years now and wallow in the solitude. I guard it and protect it. I love it, don’t want to change it and am happy. Don’t get me wrong, I have family and friends in my life but my home is my solitary haven and I don’t want to share it right now. Maybe someday.......
Exactly! From about 10 to 4ish today, I had a house full of people. Great fun! Now I’m under my fake fur comforter, remote in one hand and laptop in the other.
Life is good.
We are hobbits. We love our holes in the tree, our comfy chairs, our books and our quiet.
I can't get away from the thought that youngsters will always have fantasies of happily ever after. I also can't get away from the knowledge that lads and lasses will both attain happily ever after only when they become adults and make good choices of compatable others who are also adults.
So glad to know there is somebody else like me out there. Isn’t it nice to be in charge of the clicker? A few years ago I got one of those bed trays like you see in B&B’s. One of my favorite luxuries is to stay in bed on a Sunday morning with the paper on my bed tray, hot coffee, a fleece throw and the dog. Such a cheap high, lol.
Yep, it’s wonderful.
Wonderful!
Bump to your post.
Some of the posts here have been rather crude in their view of single for life women.
Bump again.
Bump to your post.
When I think of all of the work relationships take, I wonder why I ever tried so hard. (hormones...I really don't wonder!)
I’ve seen enough dysfunctional families to know that having kids and grandkids is no guarantee of dying fulfilled.
Can’t argue with that....
Exactly. Often trying to fit into the mold lets you see just how different you are from the mold. Not good, not bad, just different.
Oh me too. I don't want to be malleable, therein lies the problem. The desire to continually work to accommodate and please somebody else is no longer there.
I disagree I think there is someone for everyone. There are those best kept alone such as with predators. I do think the most unnatural thing a person can do is not desire to forge a long term relationship bond with another. It is unfortunate that many choose another who does not compliment them but that does not change the fact that human beings are designed to form families. Nature dictates as much, it is our modern world built on abstract lies that has corrupted ideas of relationships and sexuality and families to the point where it is sometimes easier to stay alone. However I am of the bent that a person is best that challenges themselves.
I could’ve individually fed my ego and my entertainment had I not gotten married and become a father. I could’ve had spurious relationships that pass in the night till they are more like dreams than reality but I would have been a lesser man. I think it is really about attitude and facing the fear because many are fearful of giving up even one inch of ego, compromising one foot of space, granting one anyone admission to their heart. That said I know do know of some who are happier and choose the life for religious purposes but they would be happy regardless and they are usually very social and spend their time helping others. This is not usually the case though. I see far many giving up having families and relationships because of fear, because of greed, and for positions of power. I find this very saddening but that is their choice. What I object to is a media and culture that lifts up solitude and easy living as natural when their is nothing less so in the history of man.
People are not meant to go through life alone and young people especially should be encouraged to think about how their activities will build to the point of forming healthy families rather than resentful bonds and empty marriages.
Thanks.
Unnggghhh. Ewwwwww. Barf. I guess that covers it for now.
You’d think that being fit, moderately successful, never married, no kids, having a good disposition, would be enough to start a relationship.
Ha!
Not if you’re conservative!
Don’t believe the ladies calling themselves “middle of the road”......they’re liberals!
Do you realize the arrogance of your post? I’m not saying it’s the vast majority, but wow-— don’t you believe in individuals? And no, not everyone on the planet pairs up like on Noah’s arc. Some of us are one of a kind without a match.
I’m 51 years old, I’ve been married and widowed twice— I hated the basic structure of marriage and felt buried alive. I had roomates in college, grew up and a house full of people and I was always happiest when the house was empty and things were quiet.
And I repeat, being alone is when I am the strongest, the happiest, the most real and honest. It’s when I can go out into the world and be a good employee, a good friend, a good teacher, a good Aunt, a good sister....a good person. Take away my solitude and I’m purely in hell. No other way to paint it.
I tried, and tried, and tried and was miserable—— because there were people like you around me that convinced me that I was a freak unless I wasn’t alone. But I am not a freak, and I am happier alone. I’m more of a freak when I try to be someone I’m not.
Yes, I have gobs of friends and family. I have a very full and busy life. And it’s by far a 1000 times better than when I tried to ‘be with someone’.
You realize that the only way I could ‘be with someone’ is if they were an individual content on seeing me only 1 hour a day and a few hours on weekends? And often then, I want to be left to myself. That’s all I want or can tolerate at the end of the day. So no, I’m not wired for marriage or ‘pairing’ unless there is an equal hermit willing to sleep in another room (yes, I cant’ sleep next to another person, no matter how tired)
I repeat, we are not the majority, but we do exist. We are not bad, just different. Respect us and we’ll respect you.
ping to post #42
I can't imagine not being married, but not all marriages are alike.
Thank you. Happy marriages are wonderful to see and yeah, maybe if I as born a different person. But I’m not. So instead, I’m the good friend of married people and that’s my job ;)
I’m not even talking about you. I am sorry that you assumed that. You did your part you didn’t isolate yourself and pride yourself in being alone or unattached. Why are you taking this personally? I was referring to those discussed in the article who place all the wrong things ahead of growing up and progressing to build families. I wasn’t talking about widows and those who have through no act of their own found themselves alone. I do find something very wrong with a culture that celebrates careerism and individualism that is bordering on selfishness and vanity.
Human beings are meant to grow up and form bounds and families. That is a basic truth and that is not about Noah’s ark but about science. I could be harsher and say that those who pride themselves in not forming families are at a very basic level choosing to be unfit as Darwin would put it. I’m just addressing the lie of the modern world. I do not have any gripe with those who choose to live and be alone personally. I just think that such stories about how young women are choosing to forgo families is unnatural and harmful to them in the long run. Also it is harmful to the human race. No one is required to care about the human race because we are individuals but as long as we are talking discussing a bunch of freemales I think rational analysis based on simple truth should be considered first versus the tired old liberal feminism that has left us a bunch of used up bitter aging women who have oppressed men and women alike with their vapid ideas which have made it harder for women and men to communicate and love one another and simply be happy or content. Again I am not talking about you. Please do not take this personally. I just am very tired of the arguments that raise up the most egocentric and selfish individuals among us as if they are the rule and the paths they lead as the most desirable and most “intelligent”.
If you are as you describe then you seem to be a wonderful vibrant person. I thank you for taking the time to respond to me in such a thoughtful fashion since I imagine that one hour a day you spend leaves little time for anything else. ;-) I wish you well najida. (I am a tad bit arrogant but I still am often right.) lol
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