Drunk Darth Vader's Jedi assault

BBC News ^ | April 22, 2008 | BBC News

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries.

Hughes, who was drunk and dressed in a black bin bag, shouted "Darth Vader!"

Earlier, when Hughes failed to arrive on time, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: "I hope the force will soon be with him."

In the event, Hughes turned up and the case at Holyhead magistrates court resumed.

The court heard he had jumped over a garden wall wearing the bin bag before the attack.

Outlining the case against Hughes, prosectutor Nia Lloyd said Barney Jones had recently started the Jedi church in Holyhead - in honour of the Star Wars' good knights.

It had about 30 members locally and "thousands worldwide".

The cousins had been filming themselves playing with light sabres in the garden before the attack.

Hughes admitted two charges of common assault.

The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

Mrs Lloyd said: "He was wearing a black bin bag and a cape and had a metal crutch in his hand."

Mrs Lloyd said he was shouting "Darth Vader".

She added that Hughes hit Barney Jones over the head with the crutch, leaving him with a headache.

He then laughed and hit Michael Jones in the thigh, causing bruising.

Both men were left upset by the incident and they believed it was pre-planned.

She added that the pair believe "very strongly in the church and their religion".

Hughes could not remember the incident and only realised what had happened when he read about it in local newspapers, the court told.

Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was "ruining his life" and he had no idea where he got the crutch from.

The court head Hughes had previous convictions, including affray, assault and disorderly behaviour.

The judge warned Hughes that jail remained a possibility before adjourning for pre-sentence reports until 13 May.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

PING for your lists.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

PING!

[Diana in Wisconsin]

[6SJ7]

Bizarre, this story is.

[DManA]

That boy has gone to the dark red side.

had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

[phrogphlyer]

You don’t know the POWER of the dark (red) side.

[VRWCmember]

The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

Well at least he had the good taste to only drink the best part and leave the worst part alone.

[ClearCase_guy]

When once you wear a black bin bag, forever will it feature in your police file.

[Hegemony Cricket]

I guess if you’re going to gulp it down 10 litres at a time, it’s prolly better if you buy it by the box...

[Hot Tabasco]

playing with light sabres

Light sabres and alcohol......that's a deadly mix.

There is nothing sadder than to see and old, drunk, Jedi Knight who is even rejected by the dark side..

[Between the Lines]

I am more surprised to find that there is a Jedi Church than that it was attacked by Darth Vader.

[ConservaTexan]

Do not underestimate the power of the Drunk Side!

[DManA]

His metaclorian/alcohol count is off the scale.

[Jonah Hex]

"Luke, I am your OHYEARGH..."

(retch)

"... oh man, never drink jello shooters with a Wookie. Don't worry, that will wash off if you catch it before it sets. Now, where was I? Oh yeah... Luke, I am your father. Go get me a beer, son."

[DManA]

Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.

[VRWCmember]

I am more surprised to find that there is a Jedi Church than that it was attacked by Darth Vader.

At least he didn't kill all the younglings.

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

The cousins had been filming themselves playing with light sabres in the garden before the attack.

Attack of the nerds!

[SoothingDave]

I don’t think wine that comes in a 10 liter box has a “best part.”

[phrogphlyer]

“Over twenty thousand! Even master Yoda doesn’t have a midichlorian count of that high.”

[Between the Lines]

[Pistolshot]

You just can’t make this stuff up.

[Sax]

[RandallFlagg]

Oh, DEFINATELY bookmarking!

[Jonah Hex]

"Never underestimate the hungover side of the Force."

[DManA]

he had no idea where he got the crutch from.

Obviously a lie. Every Jedi has to build a crutch as part of his training. Everyone knows that.

[Jonah Hex]

Sorry, this is too funny NOT to change my tag line. :-)

[Christian4Bush]

When once you wear a black bin bag, forever will it feature in your police file.

"if once you start down the dark red path, forever will it dominate your destiny! Consume it, you will...as did this dumbass apprentice."

[RockyMtnMan]

LOL, is that real or a PhotoShop job?

[Sax]

Sure it’s real. You just needed to send in 5 proofs of purchase and $1.99 for P&H. :)

[Allegra]

Seen this one yet?

[JRios1968]

Do NOT mess with mah beer... 

[JRios1968]

Don't underestimate the power of the

TaЯd Vader ping!

"Tard" refers to the ping list members and not to the subject of the thread!

List of Ping Lists

[absolootezer0]

[lesser_satan]

Check this out.

[Sax]

[Froufrou]

The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

The tail-end being more like, what, spithead?

[Sax]

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same You wanna be where everybody knows Your name.

Off to the Star Wars convention

[BJClinton]

[CholeraJoe]

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey,

No doubt a fan of the Holyhead Harpies Quidditch team and their star Chaser, Ginevra Potter.

[Tax-chick]

His black plastic trash bag could double as a wizard robe :-).

I thought the Jedi Church folks were in Australia.

[CholeraJoe]

Darth Vader=Dark Lord=Voldemort, therefore Anakin Skywalker=Tom Riddle and Luke Skywalker=Harry Potter.

[Tax-chick]

Everything is derivative these days; the stories have all been done!

[Slings and Arrows]

---

[Sax]

Darth Vader=Dark Lord=Voldemort, therefore Anakin Skywalker=Tom Riddle and Luke Skywalker=Harry Potter.

I thought Harry Potter had real parents, unless Darth Vader=Milkman.

[Daffynition]

Life imitating art ..

[Tax-chick]

Harry/Luke has (or had) real parents, but was reared by other family members. Tom Riddle did have a known father and mother, so that’s a difference with Anakin Skywalker. (Not that I believed his mother’s story about “he was just born.”)

[RandallFlagg]

"No really. It's just a church."

[Sax]

Harry/Luke has (or had) real parents, but was reared by other family members. Tom Riddle did have a known father and mother, so that’s a difference with Anakin Skywalker. (Not that I believed his mother’s story about “he was just born.”)

Sure, but in Star Wars the bad guy's own son was the one who 'saved' him after he'd become lost.

Did the HP bad guy knock up Harry's momma?

[Sax]

Not sure if I dig the tighty whitey tithing at that church.