13 Things You Won't Believe Are Against the Law Somewhere

Cracked.com ^ | 07/10/08 | Ian Fortey

[arderkrag]

#13.Indoor Nudity (Villahermosa, Mexico)

#12.Silly String (Los Angeles)

#11.Fishbowls (Monza, Italy)

#10.Feeding the Homeless (Las Vegas)

#9.Being at the Library Whilst Having Body Odor (Houston)

#8.The Jolly Roger (Stafford Borough, England)

#7.Ice Cream Truck Music (Stafford, New Jersey)

#6.Chewing Gum (Singapore)

#5.Lobster (Reggio, Italy)

#4.Saggy Pants (Delcambre, Louisiana)

#3.Excuses (Megion, Siberia) (BY CITY OFFICIALS, NO LESS. - ARD.)

#2.Karaoke (Lilbum, Georgia)

#1.Satan (Inglis, FL)

Full details on each at link.

[arderkrag]

My personal favorite is #3:

#3.Excuses (Megion, Siberia)



In a move that is either insane or the most awesome thing ever, the mayor of Megion in Western Siberia has banned the use of excuses by city officials. Bureaucrats are no longer allowed to say the following phrases: "I don't know," "It's lunch time," "It's not my job" and "It's impossible" amongst a list of more than two dozen other phrases that generally piss people off when coming from the mouths of government officials.
Our favorite has to be "It's impossible," as we're guessing city officials are now constantly inundated with requests such as, "I want the faucets in my house to dispense only pudding!" and "Make it rain vodka tomorrow," knowing the old, pat answer will no longer fly.
The official word on what happens if someone uses one of these phrases is that it will "speed their departure" which is probably the polite Siberian way of saying that you have to fight an especially quick brown bear.

[Always Right]

14. Intelligence (Democratic Underground/Huffington Post)

[Radl]

#7 seems reasonable.

[Disturbin]

“Ice Cream Truck Music”

Someone must have gone postal on the ice cream man.

This d-bag I knew in college drove an ice cream truck during the summer months. He played “Ice Cream Man” by Van Halen instead of the standard tune.

[Cailleach]

#9.Being at the Library Whilst Having Body Odor (Houston)

totally understandable. lol

[arderkrag]

15. Common Sense (Washington, D.C.)

[Non-Sequitur]

#1.Satan (Inglis, FL)

So has the Prince of Darkness been complying with the law?

[hoagy62]

#9.Being at the Library Whilst Having Body Odor (Houston)

That should be illegal ANYWHERE.

#7.Ice Cream Truck Music (Stafford, New Jersey)

Sometimes, we have ice cream trucks (actually, scooters) come through here 3 and 4 times a day. When you have kids that beg for ice cream every time they hear that music played over and over and over again, ad infinitum, you'd want to make it illegal too!

#1.Satan (Inglis, FL)

Already illegal in most parts of the world by Biblical order, except in the Democratic Party of the United States...in which case, he's the chief policy maker.

[TBP]

You can find a whole lot of these at www.dumblaws.com

[arderkrag]

Well, according to Beelzeboss in Pick of Destiny, the demons have to obey the code, so maybe they're law-abiding citizens after all.

[mkjessup]

#1.Satan (Inglis, FL)
So has the Prince of Darkness been complying with the law?

Absolutely. He moved from Inglis down the road to Clearwater where the Scientologists have made him feel most welcome.

[PugetSoundSoldier]

Funny list, but bogus. I know for a fact that you can buy chewing gum in Singapore. It’s illegal to spit it on the street, but you can buy it and chew it.

[andy58-in-nh]

Putting squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling (Springfield, USA).

[Harold Shea]

I remember that American kid being whipped for
doing something illegal in Singapore.

Can`t remember what it was tho

[muglywump]

graffiti

[arderkrag]

Micheal Faye, caned for egging a car.

[wequalswinner]

You are so funny.

I would however really agree with that law if it could be enforced, are you listening Satan? You’re not allowed here!

[arderkrag]

O RLY?

BBC Story, 2004

Singapore is preparing to partially lift its famous ban on chewing gum - in order to comply with a free trade agreement with the United States.

<--SNIP-->

But Singapore has not removed its strict ban completely, agreeing only to allow sales of "therapeutic" gum in pharmacies, and only to those with a prescription.

[Natchez Hawk]

Nope, turns out there is absolutely no evil whatsoever in Inglis, Florida.

[1rudeboy]

Most of these lists are bogus. If some guy gets arrested for walking naked down the street in Tupelo while holding a sandwich, and is convicted/fined/whatever, someone else comes along and claims “there is a law” against walking down the street in Tupelo naked holding a sandwich (when in reality the law itself involves “public indecency” or whatever).

[LTCJ]

In a move that is either insane or the most awesome thing ever, the mayor of Megion in Western Siberia has banned the use of excuses by city officials.

Can we get this guy an Hawiian birth certificate?

[GQuagmire]

add Manhattan clam chowder in Mass.(tomatoes in clam chowder)

[PugetSoundSoldier]

Hey, what can I say... I bought a pack of mint chewing gum there in April this year. Wonderful to cleanse the breath after all the spices used on the Indian and Thai food there.

Between the gum and the much-needed cooling from Slurpees at the 7-11 (all over Singapore), I pretty much covered all my “needs from home” list.

[arderkrag]

Hmm...they might be selling it under a loophole in the law. If I lived in such an authoritarian place, I’d seek to circumvent some of the laws as well.

[PugetSoundSoldier]

Singapore really is not that bad. Seriously. It sounds a lot worse than it is, because they have actual corporal punishment, and enforce things like litter laws.

But I see no restrictions beyond which we have here in the US (we have littering laws, too), they have a much more open economy, and English IS the universal language there (officially).

If it wasn’t so small and crowded with an expensive cost of living (comes from being a wealthy nation in a tiny spot of land), it would be high on my list of places to live.

Think Hawaii with a vibrant, international economy in multiple sectors and without beach bums and liberals (Singaporeans are, for the most part quite conservative in their social and fiscal values).

[envisio]

Fancy beer (my house)

Female men (my house)

Anything other than Dukes mayonaisse (my house)

[absolootezer0]

so.. you’re saying i’m not allowed at your house?

[kenth]

the Democratic Party of the United States...in which case, he’s the chief policy maker.

---

Sorry, just need a quick correction. That should be Democrat Party of the United States. One, there’s nothing really democratic about them. It’s more a totalitarian vision they have. Two, it drives them nuts when they’re referred to as the Democrat Party as opposed to democratic.

[RightWingTeen]

In Tampa, Fl you can’t tie an ELEPHANT to a parking meter unless you pay the parking meter.