Posted on 07/25/2008 5:20:44 AM PDT by econjack
A guy is walking in a field and notices a 15' hole in the ground. He walks to the edge, looks in, but can't see the bottom. He looks around and sees a small rock, which he tosses into the hole. He cocks his head to the left and listens...
Nothing.
He looks around again, sees a small boulder, lifts it up and carries it to the edge of the hole and tosses it in. He tilts his head and listens...
Nothing.
He looks around a third times, spies a huge railroad tie nearby. He struggles to drag it to the edge of the hole, tilts it up on end and, with a might shove, topples it into the hole. He tilts his head and listens...
Nothing.
While he's listening, his peripheral vision catches movement near the top of a ridge in the field. He looks up to see a goat running about 60 miles per hour across the top of the ridge. Suddenly, the goat turns and starts flying down the hill towards him. He jumps out of the way just as the goat dives head-first into the hole. He moves back to the edge of the hole, tilts his head and listens...
Nothing.
About that time a farmer comes up and asks:
"Have you seen a goat around here?"
"See him! He just ran across the top of that ridge, hung a right turn, and came screaming down the hill at about 60 miles per hour, and dove right into this hole."
The farmer looked at the guy and said: "Can't be."
The man said: "I swear...across the ridge...60 miles per hours...right into this hole."
The farmer repeated: "Can't be. I had him chained to a railroad tie."
ohhhhh! Poor goat.
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other
driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it. ...
he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’
A conservative walks in to a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey.
One by one he downs the shots as the bartender looks on in amazement.
Finally the last shot is gone and the bartender says, “wow, what was that about?”
The conservative says, “I just voted for McCain for President.”
The bartender, being a RINO, says congradulations, “let me buy you another shot.”
The conservative replies, “no thanks, if 10 shots doesn’t wash the taste from my mouth another one won’t.”
According to research conducted a few years back at the University of Hertfordshire, the funniest joke in the world, the one that most easily travels across cultures, is about death. It goes something like this:
Two hunters are out hunting. One of them falls over and seems not to be breathing. His friend calls 911* and cries, “What do I do?” “Well, first, let’s make sure he’s dead,” says the operator. There is silence, and then a shot rings out. The hunter returns to the phone and says, “Okay, now what?”
I remember the “country” version of that one....
Stealing that one.
ROFLMAO.
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