Skip to comments.How to help your child cope with a bully
Posted on 08/25/2008 8:34:10 AM PDT by Moose4
A week before the start of the new school year, principal Denise Magee roamed the hallways of Campbell Middle School in Smyrna, Georgia, preparing for battle.
The adversary? Preteen and teenage bullies.
Toting anti-bullying posters and masking tape, Magee was determined to let students see from Day One that she had a zero-tolerance policy when it came to that kind of harassment.
"Middle-school kids are just cruel to each other," Magee said. "They speak their minds, so you see bullying in the form of teasing, taunting, social isolation and name calling."
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimated that 30 percent of all children in grades six through 10 have been bullied or have bullied other children during a school year
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
Parents should be finished teaching their kids about how to deal with all kinds of other kids before middle school starts. Listen and be humble with everyone. Correct when the Bible standard has been challenged. Walk away from a fight but physically defend yourself when you or someone else is injured. Revenge is left to God. Flee temptation of other’s wrong invitations.
“Jesus never ran away from anyone or anything.”
And was crucified. Didn’t he advise his followers to “turn the other cheek”? Most posters here are advising the opposite.
I am an atheist conservative. We do exist.
The boar didn’t happen to weigh 1200 lbs did it?
I couldn't make that promise, but I taught my kids two rules: (1) If they are being bullied or see someone else being bullied and fight back, they will probably get in trouble. (2) If they are being bullied or see someone else being bullied and do not fight back, they will be in even more trouble (with me) than if they did the right thing. Surprisingly, my kids never got in trouble. They have stopped bullies several times by walking up to them, unafraid, and saying 'no'. They expect to get hurt if they fight, but they see that as less to be feared than the shame of allowing someone else to be bullied. I've never even heard a report of successful bullying in front of my kids. As for the "zeo tolerance" nonsense where everyone who fights gets in trouble, we have ourselves to blame for allowing lawyers to get away with their stunts when schools apply common sense 'unequally' to the kid who accidentally tripped another kid and to the kid who hit a classmate with brass knuckles.
TKD is a great program for the kids, my son is a Black Belt in TKD and a 4-time state champion. However, based on time requirements I don't see how they could be 3rd Dan Black Belt. They shouldn't even reach 1st Dan Black Belt for 5-6 years, then there are minimum time requirements between each black belt level. Starting at age 5, a person should reach 3rd Dan Black Belt between 15 and 17 years old.
I think this is one of the most misunderstood of all scripture.
When Jesus said to turn the other cheek you have to understand it in the mode of the times he lived in.
If a man struck you to cause you shame, he struck you backhand.
When you "turn the other cheek" you are inviting him to strike you forehand, therebye giving you leave to kick his everlovin a$$.
If the man strikes you twice, it is now serious and it is completely self defense.
“It’s not a good choice in this case. Children need to learn how to live in a society, the younger they can cope with this, the better. In adult age they’ll meet the same, but things will get more complicated”
My experience is that there is less bullying in the workplace. At work, the boss does not want the loss of productivity that a bully causes, and a jerk will evetually be fired in most cases. Many schools care about the number of kids enrolled (which determines funding) rather than how much is being learned. Kids in public schools probably have more “due process” rights than private sector workers.
Your dad was a super dad for giving you this.
LOL. no, but to a 12 year old it might have well.
As I am sure you know, there are numerous different Taekwondo associations, federations, and alliances, both domestically and internationally. The various time and class attendance requirements between belts are governed by the guidelines adopted/enforced by the particular organization with which the student is affiliated.
The social atmosphere in a public school has NOTHING to do with civilized society. It’s an artificially constructed environment with less supervision than you might realize.
Homeschooling is a valid choice.
ITA - International Taekwondo Alliance (used to be the old USTA). It is all that is available near our residence.
He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees the ghost.
The POINT was, Jesus stood up to everyone that attacked him. He almost got thrown off a cliff, almost got stoned, and ultimately faced the cross. None of us could do what Jesus did, not one.
ITA: 4 years minimum 1st to 3rd Dan; total time 7yrs, 4 months.
Dang straight, they should hit back. Nothing encourages a bully more than a wimp - an easy target. Don't start a fight, but if a fight comes to you, you should by all means finish it. Defend yourself.
Poor Johnny - he probably did have a crush on her (Johnny sounds like me when I was a kid 8^)
Good tactic though - I know I would have been mortified to have my crush on a girl called out in front of the other kids.
YOUR point was about Jesus!
My point was about bullying.
The thread is titled, "How to help your child cope with a bully". I related a personal anecdote to lead into a point which has nothing whatsoever to do with The Lord's trials.
Now since you don't want to be topical and talk about school bullying:
What does a bunny with a pancake on its head have to do with school bullying?
I coped, more or less, knocking out a few bullies teeth along the way. I wasn’t too popular with their moms. :-)
I was small as a kid (I’m no giant now but bigger than average) and I was what you called “scrappy”. I was scared to death of fighting, especially some of the bully types, but the minute someone took a swing at me, I’d go ape sh1t, punching straight to the face with everything I had. Couple of times, with kids with long hair I’d get a fistful of hair in one hand and go to work with the other. Broke a couple of noses. Never trained for it, I just went crazy once I get hit. Only got my arse kicked one time when a much bigger kid got on top of me on the ground and pummelled me good. In each case, once the fight was over, I never had a problem with that kid again. Some of ‘em even became really good friends.
Seems the world is different these days, though. I’d be a bit scared if it was my kid that you don’t know if even a 12, 13 or 14 year old isn’t going to pull a knife or come to school the next day with a gun.
IRVING !?!! Is that you ?!!!
“IRVING !?!! Is that you ?!!!”
Nope, no Irving here. You get your butt kicked by someone named Irving? Is that why you took the name twinkie?
I can feel my stomach turning whenever this subject comes up.
Not so much for me, but for my boyfriend. We are many, he was alone. Evil “fighting” (with knives, chains, & bricks) every day after school for any reason imaginable, & worse consequences than getting beat up. I don’t want to think of what would have happened if he was small & defenseless. F**king scum, I get agitated just thinking about it.
“When my daughter was 7, she came home crying about the boy on the bus who kept pinching her and hitting her. I told her she had my permission to hit him back. 2 days later I get a call form the school wanting me to meet with the principle, my daughter had been in a fight. It seems the young man had punched her in the belly, she in turn, hit him over the head with her Fonzie lunch pail. He had to be taken to the ER for stitches. He never messed with her again. “
Which proves the point: aggression must be met with deliberate force.
My parents taught me that under no circumstances was anyone to touch me if I didn’t want them to. I grew up in a pretty rough neighborhood, and never had any trouble with bullies. When I suspected someone might be thinking about touching me, I would stop everything I was doing and focus my entire attention on them, giving off casual but obvious defensive signals. Only one or two of them even made a step toward me. At that point, I eliminated the casual from the defensive signals. I suspect the reason no one ever tried it was because my parents taught me that my bodily integrity was part of my honor, and that it was worth defending with everything I had. Regardless of the threat, I was ready to defend to the death. I find this attitude still works. And if, at some point, it doesn’t, at least I will have died with honor.
Well, Irvings are tougher than we think.
I have a great way to deal with bullying, since I’ve been bullied since 3rd grade and i’m 15.
Stand up for yourself, and only defend yourself physically only when your on physical being is in danger. Also, realize that the bully is probably either being bullyied or is very insecure with him or herself. Lastly, gain many friends that will help you cope with the idiot.