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America the Not-so-Beautiful
The Aspen TImes ^ | 11/04/08 | Addison Gardner

Posted on 11/04/2008 9:19:57 AM PST by Titmouse

Saturday night I took my wife of 34 years to MovieLand to screen a comedy romance entitled “Zach and Miri Make a Porno,” a film whose Internet “Tomatometer” consensus proclaimed it “fresh,” “charming” and “an old fashioned romantic comedy.”

The Washington Post’s Neely Tucker observed, “Everyone on screen seems to be having so much fun,” and The New York Times’ A. O. Scott bubbled, “a gee-whiz romantic-comedy formula that would not be out of place on the Disney Channel.”

Since the wife and I are suckers for old-fashioned romantic comedies, I ponied up $30 for tickets and a bucket of popcorn, and we shimmied past aisle-sitting singles to wedge ourselves into kneecap-bruising seats.

Remember the days when your fellow moviegoers stood up and allowed you to pass them, un-rubbed-against, in the dark? No time for that today; we’re too busy text messaging to be bothered.

During the next hour and 41 minutes, the only thing that kept me in my seat was my reluctance to climb over the theater-goers to the left of us, so deep was my shame at the thought of being identified by somebody I knew.

The phrase, “coarsening of culture” — as it pertains to America — has lost any meaningful currency: Watching this movie was like being dropped into a sewerage-treatment pond with your lips stitched to your chin and forehead.

In fact, the money-shot in the film occurs when a constipated porn-princess is “freed-up” by the stud busily sodomizing her from the rear: In a flash of comedic brilliance, she evacuates, explosively, on the face and shoulders of the cameraman filming a close-up from below.

(Excerpt) Read more at aspentimes.com ...


TOPICS: AMERICA - The Right Way!!; Miscellaneous; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: culturewar; downourthroats; hollywood; inourfaces; movies; pornification; pornography
What Hollywood does for America...
1 posted on 11/04/2008 9:19:58 AM PST by Titmouse
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To: Titmouse

ewwwww

sounds awful


2 posted on 11/04/2008 9:24:52 AM PST by modest proposal
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To: Titmouse

Dude, it’s a Kevin Smith movie, what did you expect?


3 posted on 11/04/2008 9:24:55 AM PST by Republican Party Reptile
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To: Titmouse

Jeez, the movie title might have provided a clue, ay.


4 posted on 11/04/2008 9:25:07 AM PST by DieHard the Hunter (Is mise an ceann-cinnidh. Cha ghéill mi do dhuine. Fàg am bealach.)
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To: Titmouse

Hey! Last Saturday I went to the Shubert Theater in New Haven Ct and saw a stage production of Sakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream performed by a stage troop from New Deli in Hindi! Sub titles ran on a display above the screen. Talk about culture!

I lasted until intermission.


5 posted on 11/04/2008 9:27:13 AM PST by y6162 (uot)
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To: Titmouse; Borges
Kevin Smith is surely one of the most ridiculously overrated directors in film today.

It's a shame because I am a fan of Elizabeth Banks.

6 posted on 11/04/2008 9:29:01 AM PST by wideawake (Why is it that those who like to be called Constitutionalists know the least about the Constitution?)
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To: Titmouse

30 bucks for two to get into a movie?

That’s crazy. I guess it as been a while....

Jeezo Peezo... that’s more than enough to buy a pound of gun powder or 100 bullets.....hours of good clean fun for the whole family.


7 posted on 11/04/2008 9:31:28 AM PST by texmexis best
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To: Titmouse

The sad thing is this film will be shown all over the world and the image people will have of Americans is horrible.


8 posted on 11/04/2008 9:33:13 AM PST by Siobhan7
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To: Titmouse

Lovely, go see a movie that says it’s porn right in the title and then trash America. Please, don’t reproduce.


9 posted on 11/04/2008 9:33:18 AM PST by Natchez Hawk (Smiles, confidence, and heads held high people.)
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To: Titmouse

Anyone who goes to a movie with that title and is surprised by the content deserves whatever they get. I wouldn’t doubt he just went to set up an appropriately indignant “Well, I Never!” article like this.


10 posted on 11/04/2008 9:33:50 AM PST by Borges
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To: Titmouse
His naive assumption that a movie with Porn in the title could/would be a sweet little romantic comedy is conveniently rather simplistic, me thinks.
11 posted on 11/04/2008 9:34:06 AM PST by top 2 toe red ("The 'Women' of the View"___Elizabeth, three lipstick wearing Pigs & one swiveled up old Buzzard!)
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To: Titmouse
In fact, the money-shot in the film occurs when a constipated porn-princess is “freed-up” by the stud busily sodomizing her from the rear: In a flash of comedic brilliance, she evacuates, explosively, on the face and shoulders of the cameraman filming a close-up from below.

This clip should make the Oscars' highlight reel for the year for sure (such clips do not have to come from nominated movies or even from films from this year).

It says a lot about what Hollywood is spraying on the public every week.

12 posted on 11/04/2008 9:35:30 AM PST by weegee (Fight Global Socialist CHANGE. vote NO on Obama-Biden. Say NO to Sen. Government)
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To: Siobhan7; wideawake

Films reflect the filmmakers. Anyone who knows who Kevin Smith is and what his films are like wouldn’t be surprised by this one.

Smith has all the filmmaking talent of a 1920s radio gag writer. What’s mildly charming about him is that he admits it and corresponds with his fans on his site.


13 posted on 11/04/2008 9:36:23 AM PST by Borges
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To: Titmouse

Kidding right? “...make a porno” wasn’t a clue. Traci Lords is in the preview blowing bubbles in a manner usually reserved for the gut in a foreign port (gut being the lowest class drinking and base entertainment part of town).

Sorry, a couple years on the planet should have tipped this off as a non-starter despite the “romantic comedy” moniker. Rent “LA Story,” or “The Whole Nine Yards.” It’ll spare some coin and even these small movies are likely orders of magnitude better than ZMMP.

Thanks for the break from alternating schadenfreude and hand wringing.

Cheers!!!


14 posted on 11/04/2008 9:37:13 AM PST by petro45acp (NO good endeavor survives an excess of "adult supervision" (read bureaucracy)!)
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To: Titmouse

Well what the HELL did the viewer expect? A light hearted romp with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks???

Here’s a clue: Do NOT go to movies with “Porn” in the title and expect family fare.

Dumbass reviewer.


15 posted on 11/04/2008 9:38:51 AM PST by Mr. Jazzy (USMC- Guarding freedom around the world since 1775)
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To: texmexis best

i think that included a tub of popcorn.


16 posted on 11/04/2008 9:39:13 AM PST by gussiefinknottle (woof!woof!woof!)
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To: Titmouse

Porn is from the Devil. Even if it is not porn but has that name it it it is from the devil.


17 posted on 11/04/2008 9:56:22 AM PST by Butterfickle (A pissed Vet)
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To: Titmouse
Oh goody! He took his wife to a porno movie, contributed his $30 to it, doesn't have the moral fortitude to get up on his hind legs and walk out (lest he disturb fellow voyeurs) and yet this moron complains about a culture he helps coarsen.

“Watching this movie was like being dropped into a sewerage-treatment pond with your lips stitched to your chin and forehead.”

You weren't dropped into, you paid to jump into (and you brought your wife along for what?) the sewer.

18 posted on 11/04/2008 10:05:01 AM PST by count-your-change (You don't have be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
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To: Titmouse
The author's experience reminds me of my own experience with that crude waste of celluloid entitled "Tropical Thunder".

Fool me once...

19 posted on 11/04/2008 10:16:06 AM PST by The Duke (I have met the enemy, and he is named 'Apathy'!)
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To: Titmouse

I have trouble summoning sympathy for the idiot that thought “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” was an idealistic romantic comedy. Nitwit. When the director is Kevin Smith, and Judd Apatow is a major player, you’re guaranteed a bawdy comedy. When the word “porno” is in the TITLE, you’re a dumbass if you don’t expect a bawdy comedy.

H


20 posted on 11/04/2008 10:32:29 AM PST by SnakeDoctor (Keep Austin Quarantined ...)
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To: Titmouse

I’m in shock... What the heck did this guy think ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno’ was about - Zack and Miri making a movie about puppies and rainbows and butterflies?


21 posted on 11/04/2008 2:20:48 PM PST by Hyzenthlay (Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?)
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