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What a great day in America
MSM, various ^ | Nov 5, 2008 | NonValueAdded

Posted on 11/05/2008 4:15:55 AM PST by NonValueAdded

Obama gonna pay my mortgage,
Obama gonna gas up my car, heck, Obama gonna wash my car,
Obama gonna do my kids' homework,
Obama gonna get my reparations,
Obama gonna cure my cancer,
Obama gonna make Christopher Reeve walk,
Obama gonna give me free healthcare,
Obama gonna increase my salary ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: gallowshumor
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You get the idea ... but the trick is for each outlandish claim to have a thread back to a campaign promise. (Ok, he's not going to wash my car - he'll get a CEO to do that).

The other possible thread is just too depressing to post:
Obama is going to stifle innovation
Obama (Conyers) is going to gut NASA
Omaba is going to lose the Middle East ...

1 posted on 11/05/2008 4:15:55 AM PST by NonValueAdded
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To: NonValueAdded
My Irish ancestors were indentured servants (slaves) and suffered great amounts of discrimination (Irish Need Not Apply).

will I get reparations, or am I excluded because of my race?

2 posted on 11/05/2008 4:19:57 AM PST by 5thGenTexan
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To: NonValueAdded

What Hitler, Japan, the Soviet Union, and the grandest armies of old Europe couldn’t do to us 200 years, Americans have done to themselves without having to level a single building in war.

....well except two.


3 posted on 11/05/2008 4:20:06 AM PST by VanDeKoik (I refuse to help put a date, after the hyphen, after July 4th 1776.)
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To: NonValueAdded
Obama gonna' protect me by forcing sensible gun control

and NativeSon is gonna' buy a new AR15 tonight and start stocking up on ammo

4 posted on 11/05/2008 4:22:13 AM PST by NativeSon (off the Rez without a pass...)
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To: NonValueAdded

When will the big screen tv’s arrive?


5 posted on 11/05/2008 4:22:49 AM PST by defconw
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To: 5thGenTexan

The great Lord Protector (whoops, how totally inappropriate given your Irish ancestry) Obama will grant your request if you grovel sufficiently.


6 posted on 11/05/2008 4:22:55 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded

And now reality will begin to settle in for the libtards. LOL


7 posted on 11/05/2008 4:23:48 AM PST by cripplecreek (Paying taxes for bank bailouts is apparently the patriotic thing to do. [/sarc])
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To: 5thGenTexan

You’ll get yours... right after I get back Manhattan ... Obama gonna’ get it for me


8 posted on 11/05/2008 4:23:55 AM PST by NativeSon (off the Rez without a pass...)
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To: VanDeKoik

Obama gonna make those buildings rise again and face East (curiously aligned with a certain crescent in a Pennsylvania field).


9 posted on 11/05/2008 4:24:02 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded

LOL! THANKS for the laugh this morning, I needed it!


10 posted on 11/05/2008 4:25:19 AM PST by chicagolady (Mexican Elite say: EXPORT Poverty Let the American Taxpayer foot the bill !)
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To: defconw

Obama gonna ship you that TV but let’s see, where is an old white guy on that manifest ... oh, yeah... 15 years after you’re dead. Now get back to work and pay your taxes.


11 posted on 11/05/2008 4:25:25 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: 5thGenTexan

I’m afraid you’re not going to like the answer.


12 posted on 11/05/2008 4:25:35 AM PST by sierrahome (Cuba got "Change" in 1959!)
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To: NativeSon

excellent!


13 posted on 11/05/2008 4:25:58 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded

When do we start the 6 month time table for the Iraq pull out?


14 posted on 11/05/2008 4:26:34 AM PST by TankerKC (Engages in rhetorical flourishes.)
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To: NativeSon

I will be getting a new gun within the next few weeks!

Actually, I think I will “provide storage” for some of my relative’s guns. He has a few dozen.


15 posted on 11/05/2008 4:27:47 AM PST by a real Sheila (John McCain may not be able to defeat Obama on his own but GOD CAN!)
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To: NonValueAdded

Does this have to be said in such a racist fashion? I get your point and it is estute, but do we have to make fun of black people to make this point?


16 posted on 11/05/2008 4:27:55 AM PST by DBCJR (What would you expect?)
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To: NonValueAdded
Obama gonna make Christopher Reeve walk,

Will all the dead be resurrected or just Chris Reeve?

17 posted on 11/05/2008 4:28:12 AM PST by Cincinatus (Omnia relinquit servare Rempublicam)
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To: TankerKC
Obama gonna bring those troops back January 21, 2009.

He will be sending them back within 3 years after that. No, strike that, his replacement will, after we lose a city or two.

18 posted on 11/05/2008 4:28:15 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NativeSon

I am ordering another thousand rounds as we speak.


19 posted on 11/05/2008 4:28:51 AM PST by snowrip (Liberal? YOU ARE A SOCIALIST WITH NO RATIONAL ARGUMENT.)
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To: NonValueAdded

LOL, speaking of which I better get going off to work.


20 posted on 11/05/2008 4:29:16 AM PST by defconw
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To: DBCJR

assumption on your part. Perhaps it is making fun of the vast uneducated class preparing to eat our lunch. But I get your point. Not that anyone gives one whit about a conservative’s sensibilities these days. After all, only a racist would vote for Sarah and John.


21 posted on 11/05/2008 4:30:56 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded
wow. so he is going to cure all the illness’ atop healing the oceans and our planet? miracles never cease!
does this mean i can buy a new luxury car, bigger house, flat panel tv, and rack up endless debt and obama will relieve me of my heavy burden too? yup, truly this is a great day!
all meant in good fun and sarcasm, but i admit the possibility's are endless, after all turn around is fair play, no? my taxes bailed out banks, ceo's, deadbeats, crack heads and paid his salary to vote present. dont be selfish now obama!!
22 posted on 11/05/2008 4:31:12 AM PST by CanadianMusherinMI (drill baby drill/mine baby mine!)
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To: CanadianMusherinMI

Oceans! I forgot about the oceans. And glo-ball warming. You watch, Obama is going to stop the rise in temperature and freeze global warming right in its tracks. In fact, he has already done this in anticipation of his victory.


23 posted on 11/05/2008 4:33:22 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: All

Obama gonna buy my bling-bling
Obama gonna buy my SUV


24 posted on 11/05/2008 4:35:35 AM PST by NotADove (Liberal Men is an Oxymoron)
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To: CanadianMusherinMI

And Obama is going to explain the sport of curling.


25 posted on 11/05/2008 4:35:48 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded

Gee. you think Øbama cant back his checks?


26 posted on 11/05/2008 4:36:09 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: NonValueAdded

Where do I send my bills?


27 posted on 11/05/2008 4:36:58 AM PST by woofie
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To: 5thGenTexan

L0L! Welcome to my world


28 posted on 11/05/2008 4:37:13 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: NonValueAdded

America died


29 posted on 11/05/2008 4:40:23 AM PST by tutstar (Baptist Ping list - freepmail me to get on or off.)
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To: mylife

Oh, Obama can back his checks, he has the full force of the IRS and his new Civilian Brownshirt squad to be sure of that. The problem is that we the taxpayers can’t back those checks. But that’s OK, I’m not a millionaire so I don’t have to worry. Obama told me so. Well, one of his minions did drop the amount down into my range but he was only joking, right? Say it, Barack: That’s not the Bill Richardson that I knew.


30 posted on 11/05/2008 4:40:52 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: tutstar

yes, but you’re not getting with the program. That was Amerikkka that died, you see. The new deacon-elect of the National Cathedral told us this. I see 3 months of re-education camp in your future. Self-report for processing, please.


31 posted on 11/05/2008 4:42:37 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded
Khrushev told Nixon he would bury us. Little did we realize it would take until 2008 for him to do so.

That said . . . We Are Now The Minority . . . Can we get minority rights protection?
32 posted on 11/05/2008 4:43:24 AM PST by HighlyOpinionated (All You Need is Money [Soros] and a Candidate Who Can Be Coached to Look Sincere [Obama]. A. Huxley)
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To: NonValueAdded

Its going lower than 120K.
It’s going to be 75K at the very least.


33 posted on 11/05/2008 4:44:38 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: chicagolady

de nada ... too much reality in your tagline, BTW.


34 posted on 11/05/2008 4:45:18 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: Cincinatus
Will all the dead be resurrected or just Chris Reeve?

Just Reeve. The federal government will reanimate his corpse using a signing statement, and Obama will increase funding for non-adult stem cell research by a trillion percent - Reeve's corpse will be raised to its feet and held aloft by Hope alone. A television camera will be used to get Reeve's corpse to move forward (via air from Biden's mouth).

35 posted on 11/05/2008 4:45:32 AM PST by M203M4 (True Universal Suffrage: Pets of dead illegal-immigrant felons voting Democrat (twice))
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To: NonValueAdded

yup, and as you said he will make the dead rise and the lame walk. how miraculous! and they wont even be a drain on the socialized medical system. wonders all! ;)


36 posted on 11/05/2008 4:47:30 AM PST by CanadianMusherinMI (drill baby drill/mine baby mine!)
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To: NonValueAdded

You laugh about this, but my daughter was coming out of her polling place and a woman was saying to her friends that she wasn’t going to pay her mortgage or her car payment because Obama was going to pay them for her.

Honestly. She was white and she believed ObamaAchbar.


37 posted on 11/05/2008 4:47:42 AM PST by HighlyOpinionated (All You Need is Money [Soros] and a Candidate Who Can Be Coached to Look Sincere [Obama]. A. Huxley)
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To: HighlyOpinionated
Minority rights protection, eh? Well, let me check the great ledger ... you know, Sandra Day O'Connor predicted this ... hmmm, looks like she got it wrong. Her idea was to set an expiration for affirmative action based on a projected date of old white guys achieving minority status at which point, shazam! equality before the bench once again becomes the law of the land.

Sorry, Obama will fix this and get back to you with a new expiration date, one much closer to the new reality. But I'd count on being SOL if I were you.

38 posted on 11/05/2008 4:49:26 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded

I don’t think my assumption was much of stretch. I am a conservative and agree that there is a remarkable double standard. We face it in every aspect of life. What sets us apart is a higher standard, of intelligence, values, morality, etc. We mave have lost a race. Let us not lose our standards


39 posted on 11/05/2008 4:49:31 AM PST by DBCJR (What would you expect?)
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To: DBCJR

Direct quoting some of what has been said by the Obamabots isn’t racist. Not all of those quotes came from blacks. I’ve heard white people speaking that way (it must be their education).


40 posted on 11/05/2008 4:49:56 AM PST by dbreidenbach
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To: NonValueAdded

wow. now i am thrilled. a curling game for every household! with all those pesky regulations on green house gases we wont even need to lower our temps to keep the ice nice and slick!
now where did i put that down parka......


41 posted on 11/05/2008 4:52:23 AM PST by CanadianMusherinMI (drill baby drill/mine baby mine!)
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To: HighlyOpinionated

too much reality - yes, that is the pain of this and when the promises fail to materialize, the search for someone to blame will be Randian. In fact, something happened to the thread of time and somehow we all got transported as extras into the filming of Atlas Shrugged. I’m almost sure of it.


42 posted on 11/05/2008 4:53:09 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded

nope YOU won’t get any of those things. It is the ones not working that will get all the free stuff.


43 posted on 11/05/2008 4:53:49 AM PST by ilgipper (Does Obama have even ONE friend who is PRO America?)
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To: NonValueAdded

Don’t you get it though. This frenzy is due to the 24/7 media onslaught attacking the GOP and Bush. Now, they will praise all the great decisions and improved life in America, and peace around the world. The sheep will hear that over and over and Obama will have 55% approval rating while the Congress works behind the scenes to gut our economy.


44 posted on 11/05/2008 4:55:40 AM PST by ilgipper (Does Obama have even ONE friend who is PRO America?)
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To: M203M4

you understand! brilliant


45 posted on 11/05/2008 4:56:59 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded

Nah

Obama gonna catch all the blame for whatever goes wrong.

There’s no more Bushitler
There’s no more Shrub

There’s a new Chimpy McCokespoon in office and his name is Barack Obama.


46 posted on 11/05/2008 4:57:06 AM PST by AppyPappy (If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: ilgipper

there’s going to be one heck of a day of reckoning, isn’t there? There’s a Janis Ian line ...


47 posted on 11/05/2008 4:59:23 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: AppyPappy

Chimpy, eh? Put ‘pappy down on the list, Michelle. I think 9 months of re-education is appropriate. Mock my ears, will he? Send out the local cadre to pick him up.


48 posted on 11/05/2008 5:01:38 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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To: NonValueAdded

That was Bush’s name. I was just repeating it.


49 posted on 11/05/2008 5:03:11 AM PST by AppyPappy (If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: AppyPappy

I know that - but king Obama, the Great and Powerful, is not known for his sense of humor or a historical perspective. I’m afraid it is off to the camp with you. :)


50 posted on 11/05/2008 5:10:15 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Sen. McCain brings a lifetime of experience to the White House; Sen. Obama brings a speech)
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