Skip to comments.****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
Posted on 11/21/2008 4:54:47 AM PST by Lucky9teen
My parents used to tell me many ouvroustories to scare me into doing as I am told. And Im not alone; almost all of us have heard some of these myths. Who knows, perhaps some of us still believe in them. Some of these myths may have some truth to them; some may be total hogwash. What is surprising, is that so many have survived until today.
I spent a while reading up on the more common myths, and found seven with which to entertain you.
Myth: Hair and fingernails continue to grow after death
Fact: Spooky, yes, but it is not true. The skin surrounding the hair and nails shrink after death. Worse, this part decomposes at a greater rate than the hair and nails. Hair and nails need hormones to grow, so, its really only an illusion, albeit a freaky one.
Myth: Too many carrots will turn skin orange.
Fact: Hypercarotenemia, which is what happens when your skin starts glowing orange, does happen, but you would need a massive amount of carrots to effect this. Experts blame the beta-carotene from carrots for this condition. And even if it does happen, it is not harmful and does not need treatment. It does, however, take a couple of months before your skin is normal.
Myth: Cold, wet weather causes colds and flu
Fact: Even I sometimes believe the veracity of this. It just feels so right. But the real truth is that we should blame viruses, not the cold weather. So feel free to walk around with wet hair and bare feet during winter. Whats more, experts believe that staying inside more may make it easier to spread germs.
Myth: Eating sugar causes diabetes.
Fact: Suikersiekte, as many of us know this disease, may not be caused by eating too much sugar, no matter what your gran says. A lack of insulin causes diabetes, not regular sugar. So, if you eat cookie number 1001, you may still be quite healthy, and not at risk of diabetes. If your sugar intake increases, it means your calorie intake also rises. Obesity is a strong risk factor for Type 2 Diabetes.
Myth: Knuckle-cracking causes arthritis.
Fact: Perhaps your mother didnt like the sound of your knuckle-cracking. This may be why she insisted that it would cause arthritis. However, repetitive motion does wear down the joints and the cushioning that protects them. so perhaps knuckle-cracking isnt such a great idea because it may worsen osteoarthritis, though theres no evidence to suggest it plays a role in rheumatoid arthritis.
Myth: Chocolate causes acne.
Fact: Dont stop eating that chocolate you have in your hand. The foods you eat do not cause acne, although we could do with more research to confirm this. stress and hormones may also be culprits, but they only influence acne; they do not cause acne.
Myth: Touching a frog will cause warts.
Fact: Once, when I was very little, I touched a frog and my mother got upset, telling me Ill get warts on my hands. She tried to get me to take a whizz on my hand, but I politely declined.
Scientific evidence teaches us that the human papilloma virus, or HPV, which is a double-stranded DNA virus, causes warts. Poor frogs, theyre not the transmitters, we humans are.
Myth: Worry and stress can turn your hair grey.
Fact: Regardless of how much stress you may experience, your pigment-producing cells stop working at a certain age. Talk about destiny. You do not have much influence over this, as they are genetically programmed to stop producing pigment some day. So mothers will no longer be able to blame their grey hair on their kids or husband.
..and thats when the fight started...
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started....
I’m not giving up the frogs cause warts myth. I can’t think of a better reason not to touch them. :-)
finally friday.. but is it 5:30 yet?
Lucky # 10
That pic of the tv/desk/chair trip brought a chuckle.
Many times I have walked by my TV/DVR and decided to change the channel or turn it off/on. I would have to round up the remote, because I didn’t know which buttons to push on the unit itself. (The buttons are usually tiny and small print, if any label at all.)
Ah, I see the problem. Needs more Fung Shui.
Or more cowbell.
Chocolate definitely causes acne in some people. A little is ok, but too much will cause a breakout. It may be related to the fat content.
***But the real truth is that we should blame viruses, not the cold weather. So feel free to walk around with wet hair and bare feet during winter. Whats more, experts believe that staying inside more may make it easier to spread germs.***
Can’t agree that walking around with wet hair and bare feet during winter doesn’t “cause” colds. If you’ve been exposed to a cold, you might fight it off. But, if you lessen the body’s resistance to it by not taking normal precautions, the cold will win out and you’ll be sneezing, coughing and hoarsely declaring that, “I have a colt in my head.” To which I’ll respond, “You are a little horse, aren’t you?”
JUST IN TIME FOR THANKSGIVING...
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND’S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.
EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN’T.STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.
SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.
SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD....
ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.
HE SAID, ‘HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT. ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN’T LISTEN TO YOU.’
‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN?’ ASKED HIS WIFE.
‘WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED...
‘BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.’
‘ray for me!
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right
after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?’
And then the fight started...
Was out with a group from work one night and one of the guys let out a “toot”, he turned to his wife and said “look at me honey, they will think I did it”.
and that’s when the fight started.....
Woooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo it’s FRIDAY - in the top 30!
When I was in the Navy, one morning we were lined up at quarters. One guy squeezed a “silent but deadly” fart, waited a few seconds, then turned to the guy upwind of him and asked loudly, “Did you fart?”
“I woke up to 10” of lake effect snow this morning.”
Yeah, where’s the Global Warming? We had flurries this morning........IN NORFOLK, VIRGINIA!!!
Were lucky if we even get a dusting in January around here. Snow in November????? I’m really NOT looking forward to this winter.
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
Yeah, I do ... his name is Romeo.
It was 78 degrees here yesterday. :-)
EWwwwwwww! It is surely coming my way and I hate winter!
WoooHOoo, it is finally friday! I missed last week and I need silliness bad this week. Thanks for keeping it going.
Agreed, getting cold and wet lowers your resistance to that cold virus that your body might otherwise have fought off. Stay warm and dry in cold wet weather. Mamma said!
*smiles*..get your screen cleaner ready
Just think...if the Indians had given the Pilgrim Fathers
a donkey instead of a turkey we would all be having a
Piece of ass for Thanksgiving
yes, but remember, when its 78 here, its probably 110 there.
i can always put on another layer if i’m cold, i can’t take anymore off once i’m nekeid and still sweltering. :)
That’s why we have central air ... so we don’t have to look at you nekkid and sweltering. ;-)