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Scientists Discover New Heavy Element
disaboom.com ^ | 2008-11-25 | Unknown

Posted on 12/08/2008 9:02:29 PM PST by QenBirQeni

The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.z

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: element; heavy; new
LMAO -- How appropriate for what's to come under Obama!
1 posted on 12/08/2008 9:02:29 PM PST by QenBirQeni
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To: QenBirQeni
Live long and....:-}


2 posted on 12/08/2008 9:06:06 PM PST by JoeProBono ( Loose Associations - Postcards from My Mind)
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To: QenBirQeni

3 posted on 12/08/2008 9:09:58 PM PST by JoeProBono ( Loose Associations - Postcards from My Mind)
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To: QenBirQeni

Lol.


4 posted on 12/08/2008 9:12:38 PM PST by randomhero97 ("First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me. Blow!" - Ash)
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To: QenBirQeni
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.z

That is the best laugh I have had in weeks. Thanks for posting it.

5 posted on 12/08/2008 9:17:09 PM PST by stripes1776 ("That if gold rust, what shall iron do?" --Chaucer)
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To: QenBirQeni

> These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,

Bingo!


6 posted on 12/08/2008 9:17:44 PM PST by max americana
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To: QenBirQeni

“Governmentium”

Is that the heavy metal which has a covalent bond with Donkeysrectumium?


7 posted on 12/08/2008 9:24:15 PM PST by Rembrandt
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To: QenBirQeni
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312...Excellent!!!....
8 posted on 12/08/2008 9:25:43 PM PST by Intolerant in NJ
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To: QenBirQeni

Priceless!


9 posted on 12/08/2008 9:27:49 PM PST by Bhoy
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To: QenBirQeni
*snicker*
10 posted on 12/08/2008 9:33:45 PM PST by skinkinthegrass (just b/c you're paranoid, doesn't mean "they" aren't out to get you.. :^)
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To: QenBirQeni

An oldie but goodie.


11 posted on 12/08/2008 9:50:56 PM PST by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true.)
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To: QenBirQeni

LOL bump


12 posted on 12/08/2008 9:54:43 PM PST by Captain Beyond (The Hammer of the gods! (Just a cool line from a Led Zep song))
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To: QenBirQeni

kewl!


13 posted on 12/08/2008 9:56:11 PM PST by Ciexyz
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To: QenBirQeni

IF we split the Governmentium atom, the power and energy unleashed would be enough to destroy the Earth


14 posted on 12/08/2008 9:58:36 PM PST by re_tail20
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To: QenBirQeni

I thought Governmentium was 535 elements, ALL of them morons...


15 posted on 12/08/2008 10:01:12 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: QenBirQeni
Governmentium may not be totally inert as it eventually destroys intelligent life forms. The moronic forces generated by governmentium arrange thousands of pages of regulations. Many of these regulations seem to defy the known laws of physics by throwing off vast quantities peons carrying taxpayer money generating votes from what appears to be a vacuum but is actually made of of very lightweight and impotent new particles called liberals.

The liberals are believed to rally around governmentium adding no mass but increasing the moronic forces. The moronic forces are powerful enough to destroy the brain cells of anyone exposed for too long to governmentium. This theory explains why even former conservatives who have been in office for too long begin to support government expansion.

16 posted on 12/08/2008 10:12:56 PM PST by eggman (Obama's Spread the Wealth will work just as well as Spread the Liabilities (sub-prime mortgages))
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To: stripes1776

My pleasure.


17 posted on 12/08/2008 10:17:12 PM PST by QenBirQeni
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To: QenBirQeni

Bravo !

Especially since I just finished reading "Atlas Shrugged". Seems appropriate.
18 posted on 12/09/2008 12:07:08 AM PST by jongaltsr (Hope to See ya in Galt's Gulch.)
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To: eggman
LOL!....What effect, (if any) does Conservationism....on the aforementioned Element?

19 posted on 12/09/2008 4:52:55 PM PST by skinkinthegrass (just b/c you're paranoid, doesn't mean "they" aren't out to get you.. :^)
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To: QenBirQeni

ROFL!


20 posted on 01/05/2009 9:48:21 AM PST by Ernest_at_the_Beach (No Burkas for my Grandaughters!)
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To: QenBirQeni
Did you hear about the Neutron that went into a bar? He asked the bartender, “How much for a Beam and Coke?” The bartender replied, “For you, no charge.”
21 posted on 01/05/2009 9:58:48 AM PST by Sawdring
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To: QenBirQeni

LMAO BUMP


22 posted on 01/05/2009 10:01:18 AM PST by AFreeBird
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