Posted on 01/01/2009 10:23:36 AM PST by Free ThinkerNY
This was a hard piece to write, because guns by definition are manly, except for Berettas, gold-plated TEC9s, .25 caliber pistols or anything made by the French. To simplify things, I have limited it to modern cartridge firearms a man might, can, and should collect and shoot. There are certainly other manly weapons, and you may have a different list. As long as the list contains nothing French, gold-plated, .25 or with pearl grips (which Patton correctly observed are the mark of a New Orleans pimp), it is a good list.
#10: SMLE The 10 SMLE was the other great weapon of the Modern British Empire (The Brown Bess musket being the first). Several MILLION Short Model Lee-Enfields in .303 caliber are still spread across the Earth, waiting to be used to evolve the species by killing the weak.
The Smelly, as it is called by those who love it, can be rebarreled in .308 (And was, by the Indians at the Ishapore Arsenal). There are still several billion rounds of .303 surplus out there, however, and it is still loaded by modern manufacturers. Karamojo Bell was such a testosterone laden bastard he used to hunt ELEPHANT with one. Forget .470 Nitro Express and .375 Holland & Holland Magnum. This was a warrior par excellence.
The Smelly is still the fastest bolt action out there, and a trained soldier (All Brits have Viking blood in their veins, either from the Norse, or those lesser Danes, but probably both) can fire just about a round a second in volley fire, and easily a round every five seconds aimed. It's an ugly stick with a barrel on it, and a bayonet lug that mounts either a spike big enough to crucify someone, or a blade the size of a small sword.
(Excerpt) Read more at arthurshall.com ...
bumping it for later read
I like #9.
I only have four of the 10.
Spot on reference guide to the best weapons out there.
[1] MG 42
[2] Stg 44
[3] Thompson submachinegun
[4] Colt Peacemaker
[5] Sharps 45-70
[6] Luger
[7] Erma [so-called ‘Schmeisser’] machinepistol
Mausers from across the world and farflung places are uber-collectable and have the smell of history all over them.
#10: SMLE
The 10 SMLE was the other great weapon of the Modern British Empire (The Brown Bess musket being the first). Several MILLION Short Model Lee-Enfields in .303 caliber are still spread across the Earth, waiting to be used to evolve the species by killing the weak.
#9: Mosin-Nagant M44
Speaking of guns without safeties, here’s the Mosin-Nagant M44 Carbine from Russia. The Mosin was used by the Russians against the Finns, the Finns against the Russians, the Estonians against the Russians, the Russians against the Russians, and the Russians against the Germans. It does, in fact, have a safety, but it’s quite hard to engage. But this is not a complaint one would ever voice in the Red Army. Your officer would reply, “Safety? Safety? Is gun! Meant to kill! No warrior should know he has safety on gun, because he should be killing enemies of homeland! Safety make loud click to aid enemy in locating warriors! No safety!” while pounding his fist on the table.
#8: GLOCK
The GLOCK is feared by liberals. It’s called “plastic” and “ceramic” and “capable of going through airport metal detectors.” If this were true, it would be the coolest gun on Earth. But these things are total lies, and serve to point out that liberals are not men, and have no honor. The GLOCK has a plastic frame molded over a kilogram of metal (84% of the weight is metal), and will in fact, show up on any metal detector. So will the dense plastic.
#7: Swiss K31 Carbine
The Swiss K31 carbine is…well, the Swiss Watch of rifles. It is precise, sturdy, accurate, powerful and unusual in having a straight pull bolt action. It might as well be semi-auto, if a gas tube had just been added. But the Swiss are traditionalists and not afraid of it.
#6: AK47
Another communist piece of trash, and I say that with the greatest respect. The Automat Kalashnikov in 7.62X39mm is simple enough for a third world peasant. It’s quite robust. It is muzzle heavy and thus shoots well in full auto, though it is unlikely you can own a full auto one legally. Still, in semi, the weight helps a bit with rapid fire. The AK can be called anything except pretty and accurate, and it lacks a bolt stop to hold the action open when empty. On the other hand, you can bury it in the mud for a week and it will still fire after you urinate in it to sluice the mud out. You can also elect to get a variation of the newer AK74 and AK100, in 5.45X 39mm. Also look at Valmet, Finland, who makes AKs with their own name. These ARE accurate, but pricey.
#4: AR15
Lots of people will dispute my choice of this rifle. Those people are whiners and pussies. Let’s look at the facts: The Air Police grabbed it under direction from General Curtis leMay. Upon seeing it in Vietnam, the Green Berets, SEALs, and SAS jumped on it, to be followed by the Singaporean Special Forces and the Israelis. It soon became standard. Certainly, there were problems early on, in part because the limpwristed twits in Army Logistics made changes to the weapon and ammo without consulting with the designer, Eugene Stoner. The USMC (the manliest men of the manliest military on the planet, and true Vikings—shipboard warriors who strike fear into their enemies just by existing) were called in to remedy some of those flaws with the M16A2.
#3: Remington 870
The Remington 870 has been around for decades. It is easy to maintain, easy to find parts for, almost flawlessly reliable, can be outfitted with a broad variety of accessories that enhance its inherent and undisguisable lethality. I recommend a 20” barrel with an extended 7 round magazine, plus one in the chamber, alternating buckshot and slugs. Or you can go with all buckshot. This affords the opportunity to fire 8 rounds with 9 pellets each of 000 buck, measuring approximately 9mm, in about two and a half seconds with practice. That’s twice the output of an Uzi with better hit probability and more power. In other words, as guns go, it is very well hung.
#2: Colt Model 1911A1 .45 ACP
John Moses Browning is the patron saint of shooters and weapon designers. This was a man so manly that his sole purpose in life was to create weapons to kill tasty animals and the enemies of our nation in job lots. These weapons were so successful that both sides used the Hi Power in WWII, and the US Army is fixing its unmanly error of the 9mm by calling for bids on a new .45, while the Marine Recon units and certain other Special Operations units are STILL using the Model 1911A1 with a few improvements, 96 years after it was first fielded.
Barrett M82 .50 Caliber Rifle
#1: Barrett M82 .50 caliber rifle
Ronnie Barrett is a true modern Viking. He hunts big game. He plays with guns. One day in the late 70s, he thought to himself, “Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a RIFLE that fired the same .50 BMG cartridge as Saint John Browning’s Heavy Machine Gun?” So he built it. That’s manly.
In addition to my choices at post#11, I’ve always wanted an 88.
THE TEN MANLIEST FIREARMS
Isn’t that like listing the Ten Wettest Rivers?
L
I have only three but I'll take my long barreled Ruger Blackhawk in .44mag over the #29 any day.
Plus, I do feel a .357mag belongs on the list somewhere.
I simply can’t believe that Dirty Harry’s Smith & Wesson Model 29 didn’t make the list.
While it’s no longer the most powerful handgun in the world, it’s still very manly nonetheless.
It did at the article.
How could he leave out the Tommy gun? Or the M1 rifle? Or the Russian PPSh-41 submachine gun? Or the .38 police special?
Oh... my apologies, then. Though I don't have an M29, I do own a big heavy N-frame.
I go to lengths to not assign anthropomorphic ideas like “manliness” to weapons, any more than I would to a table saw, because it fools you into thinking that a gun, or a table saw, is more than a tool. And that is a good way to “lose a finger”, figuratively.
A gun does not make you stronger, give you good judgment, make you a good shot, give you control over a situation, make you “win”, or protect you from any other weapon.
It is a tool, and needs to be treated with respect, as a tool.
Mostly guys, who think having a gun gives them juice, and makes other guys respect them, is in for a surprise.
My personal favorite is the Phased Plasma Rifle in a 40 watt range. A really sweet baby for home protection and any other negative situation.
There is a follow-up list of 10 more manly guns at the site:
http://arthurshall.com/x_2008_manly_guns_2.shtml
I saw a guy in a movie get pistol-whipped with one of these. I thought "OWWWWWW..."
Yep, I’m partial to N frames myself. Scored a nice pre-27 in 3.5” with cokes this year.
Any way, he said he killed all five, and I found it very convincing.
For info on where to buy the Swiss K-31:
http://www.surplusrifleforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=37&t=68795
I’m glad I bought 4 when they were $89!
Bump!
An alternate for the list I would add is the FN FAL. It was intimidating to behold, and made my SKS feel like a pellet gun.
The Remington 870 is a perfect addition, and no home should be without one, or an alternate like the Mossberg 500, both being very reliable. I can’t imagine anyone hearing the pump action and not giving pause to their intentions. The S&W has to be one of the most awesome handguns ever. “Hand cannon” describes it perfectly.
No BAR?
No SA M1A?
No .454 Casull?
Because they captured the FN plant in Liege Belgium where the hi power was produced?
Carried a K-frame .38 Special as a civilian policeman at an Air Guard base back in the 80’s, as well as the Air Force version of the M-16 (no forward assist). Very reliable handgun.
It’s #5.
Well chosen group of weapons.
The link leads to “Crazy Einar”, who is Michael Z. Williamson, a fellow who writes for Baen Books.
Unabashed plug: Pretty hard to find a bad read published by Baen. Even harder to find something liberal even the tiniest bit. There is a “free library” section filled with excellent free downloads, including Drake’s “The Tank Lords”, two other Slammers yarns, Weber’s “Mutineers’ Moon”, “On Basilisk Station”, “The Honor of the Queen”, and maybe two hundred others. Go for it. Best deal in the known universe.
this is the big daddy
maybe a handheld puntgun in 4 or 8 bore could compete
No Desert Eagle .50 AE?
I sure wouldn’t want to shoot that thing!
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