Posted on 01/07/2009 1:28:58 PM PST by ml/nj
My corporate attorney’s disagree as well....(chuckle)
I told them ‘Its no big deal, a law degree is a form of self inflicted brain damage, as you know....”
I could tell you some good lawyer jokes but they would cause me not only to be banned from FR but to have my front door kicked in by the Feds and hauled down to Gitmo.
Ain’t that the truth.
I had a bad fall last year....tripped over some equipment belonging to a major motion picture company.
Several people have advised me to sue, but not being litigious be nature I have not done so.
However.......
OK, since we are sharing email stories, I got this one today:
This is from an article in the St. Petersburg Times newspaper on Sunday.
The Business Section asked readers for ideas on “How Would You Fix the
Economy?”
I think this guy nailed it!
Dear Mr. President:
Please find below my suggestion for fixing America’s economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander
the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following
plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the
following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered - Auto
Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing
Crisis fixed.
It can’t get any easier than that!
If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their
constituents pay their taxes....
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
“It can’t get any easier than that!”
Except the part where we need to find $40 trillion...
Ah come on, they can just print up like they are doing for the Stimulus Package and the TARP funds -- once you get past the first $Trillion, does it really matter?
PS. Nancy Pelosi will deny all knowledge of this transaction! /s
Please excuse this reply if it is too long. I am an attorney and I am frequently told these “ain’t it a shame” stories. I have a suggestion. When ever you are told such a story, ask for the case citation. This would be something like Smith v. Jones, 351 SE2d 467. This will allow anyone to access the case record. The middle designation is the reporter series in which the case is reported. In the example it would be the South Eastern Reporter, 2nd series. The first number tells what volume, in the example, volume 351. The last number, 467, is the page number. You can still find most cases if you have only both parties names and the state and date of decision. Most large city libraries and all court libraries have these reporters. If the story teller cannot give you this information, treat it as a crock.
2nd lecture: Legal theory. In our legal system, the jury decides the facts of the case,including the amount of damages;the judge decides what law applies. The attorneys present the facts to the jury and argue the applicable laws to the judge. In deciding the amount of the damages, the jury relies on the dollar value presented in evidence. A thousand years ago everyone had a value set on his-her life, their “weregeld”. If you were a free man it was 200 shillings. If a lord, more. If a serf, less. If you were killed by someone’s negilgence, this is what they owed your family. We still do this, only juries decide what you were worth because it is an issue of fact. Brain surgeons and pretty little girls are worth more than street people and ugly juvenile delinquents. This is where punitive damages come in. In addition to Laws, you and I follow many ethical precepts given to us by our religions and parents. Corporations have only one ethic they follow in addition to the laws of man. That single ethic is: “Thou shalt make a profit” Thus, if the potential profit is greater than your “weregeld” as decided by an average jury, the profitable, but dangerous, drug will go on the market. Punitive damages are designed to discourage future corporate lapses in man’s ethics, even if they follow their own profit ethic, by removing the net profit gained. If our government removes the punitive damages, and they remove or do not prosecute, regulations, there is nothing to discourage single minded pursuit of the “profit ethic”. Also remember, just because a jury finds damages in a large amount, it does not mean that is what was actually paid. The trial judge or an appellate court can, and frequently does, reduce the judgment. That happened in the McDonalds “coffee case”.
50 Kazoo Fanfare? Can do:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhlm232KRlQ
I first heard it at least 30 years ago, and it was apparently kinda old even then.
I take it from your post that the primary difference between pro bono work and billable hours, is the use of paragraphs....
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