Skip to comments.****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
Posted on 02/06/2009 4:38:06 AM PST by Lucky9teen
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|You Are 84% Capitalist, 16% Socialist|
You believe that business makes the world great...
And you'd never be ashamed of being rich!
The quiz was written so that every question you checked off was a pro-capitalist answer. Look at the questions you did not check and meditate on them for a while. It seems to me that this test is biased towards the libertarian posistion (all drugs and prostitutes should be legal).
Ahhh, I only read it once. Aint sure I could make it through three times consecutively. But if that is what it takes, I break the book out. I have it in my library. I like the story line, but Rand is kinda wordy. I am a get to the point kind of person. :-)
I didn’t check the drug one or prostitute one. So, I let some morals creep in and I can live with that. Good, I don’t have to read Rand three times consecutively now.
That looks about right for Washington DC!
Hey! We stole that thread for February! You have good taste, Ben!
Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?
You Are 92% Capitalist, 8% Socialist
You’re a capitalist pig - and proud of it.
You believe that business makes the world great...
And you’d never be ashamed of being rich!
It scored me correctly!
Heck I had a hell of a time getting thru Rand once.
I was seeing if you’d bite.
“Sometime this year, it’s possible that taxpayers will receive an additional Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?*
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?*
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?*
A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?*
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?*
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs, it will go to India.
If you purchase heroin, it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan.
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY),or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.*
(Hmmm, skip the Bud Weiser unless you want to help Germans.)
The Love Dress
A woman stopped by unannounced at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally n@ked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.
“But you’re n@ked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.
“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.
“Love dress? But you’re n@ked!”
“Mike loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing,” he said. “What’s for dinner?
HE NEVER HEARD THE SHOT.........
There are only 6 things you have to know about plumbing:
1. Hot is on the left,
2. Cold is on the right, and,
3. $h*t doesn’t flow uphill....
4. Keep your fingers out of your mouth.
5. Payday is Friday.
6. Rules 1 and 2 assume competence from the previous plumber. Not a safe assumption.
Odd that they would classify “liberal” (or libertarian) approaches to drug legalization and prostitution as “socialist” when those who sell such goods (which can be “manufactured” at home) would stand to make legal capitalist profit if there were legalized.
As the USSR fell apart, pornography became more available. So their socialist system didn’t tolerate these vices.
And I fail to see why fast food and tobacco companies should be taken to task over the “impact” of their products when the grain heavy food pyramid also is unhealthy if you aren’t needing a processed carb heavy “active” diet. Certainly is not balanced (fruits and vegetables would be a better “base”).
(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)
Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.