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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

Posted on 02/06/2009 4:38:06 AM PST by Lucky9teen

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To: All
Stimulus Pictures, Images and Photos
51 posted on 02/06/2009 9:55:41 AM PST by Squidpup ("Fight the Good Fight")
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To: Lucky9teen

Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

You Are 92% Capitalist, 8% Socialist
You’re a capitalist pig - and proud of it.
You believe that business makes the world great...
And you’d never be ashamed of being rich!

It scored me correctly!


52 posted on 02/06/2009 10:05:35 AM PST by Lucretia Borgia (I will be happy to show Obama the same respect the Democrats gave Reagan, Bush, and Palin.)
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To: do the dhue

Heck I had a hell of a time getting thru Rand once.

I was seeing if you’d bite.


53 posted on 02/06/2009 10:09:20 AM PST by Rightly Biased (Gentlemen, please. Rest your sphincters.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Lucky, at a mere 80% it looks like you are the Stalin kissing, Mao snuggling, Daily Worker reading comrade of the thread.
54 posted on 02/06/2009 10:11:50 AM PST by Pan_Yan (America has proved it's not racist. Now it needs to prove it's not suicidal.)
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To: Lucky9teen

“Sometime this year, it’s possible that taxpayers will receive an additional Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?*

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?*

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?*

A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?*

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?*

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to Taiwan.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car, it will go to Japan and Korea.

If you purchase prescription drugs, it will go to India.

If you purchase heroin, it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan.

If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY),or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.*

*Keep Smilin’

(Hmmm, skip the Bud Weiser unless you want to help Germans.)


55 posted on 02/06/2009 10:12:19 AM PST by unique
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To: Rightly Biased
You have to lose most compassion and read Atlas Shrugged three times consecutively

Losing all compassion isn't much of a problem, but I liked The Fountainhead better than Atlas Shrugged. Can I read that one again instead?
56 posted on 02/06/2009 10:14:44 AM PST by Pan_Yan (America has proved it's not racist. Now it needs to prove it's not suicidal.)
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To: Lucky9teen

The Love Dress

A woman stopped by unannounced at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally n@ked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re n@ked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re n@ked!”

“Mike loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.

“Needs ironing,” he said. “What’s for dinner?

HE NEVER HEARD THE SHOT.........
______

There are only 6 things you have to know about plumbing:
1. Hot is on the left,
2. Cold is on the right, and,
3. $h*t doesn’t flow uphill....
4. Keep your fingers out of your mouth.
5. Payday is Friday.
6. Rules 1 and 2 assume competence from the previous plumber. Not a safe assumption.


57 posted on 02/06/2009 10:16:13 AM PST by unique
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To: ClearCase_guy

Odd that they would classify “liberal” (or libertarian) approaches to drug legalization and prostitution as “socialist” when those who sell such goods (which can be “manufactured” at home) would stand to make legal capitalist profit if there were legalized.

As the USSR fell apart, pornography became more available. So their socialist system didn’t tolerate these vices.

And I fail to see why fast food and tobacco companies should be taken to task over the “impact” of their products when the grain heavy food pyramid also is unhealthy if you aren’t needing a processed carb heavy “active” diet. Certainly is not balanced (fruits and vegetables would be a better “base”).


58 posted on 02/06/2009 10:27:57 AM PST by a fool in paradise (Obama thinks spending tax $ on abortions in Mexico helps more than controlling illegal immigration)
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To: Pan_Yan
Yawww...quizes schmizzes....they don't mean nothin' ;)



59 posted on 02/06/2009 10:28:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen (I TOLD YA SO...More and more headlines start off with "President Obama has made a major mistake ...")
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To: Lucky9teen
ALWAYS CHECK YOUR CHILD'S HOMEWORK

(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs.Smith

60 posted on 02/06/2009 11:26:40 AM PST by erkyl (The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in a period of moral crisis, stay neutral)
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To: Rightly Biased

lol


61 posted on 02/06/2009 11:56:21 AM PST by do the dhue (They've got us surrounded again. The poor bastards. - One of General Abram's men)
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To: mombyprofession

ROTFLMBO!!!


62 posted on 02/06/2009 12:13:31 PM PST by FreedomHammer (Just ring? ... let freedom ROAR!)
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To: erkyl

Love that picture... one of my favorites.


63 posted on 02/06/2009 12:37:49 PM PST by DieNarrin (Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity!)
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To: Lucky9teen

Mysterious Ways of the Lord

I never thought I would enjoy watching the news about an airplane crash. But the Lord works in mysterious ways.

First: No one died!

Second: The passengers standing on the wing appeared to be walking on water!

Third: It removed Obama from the headlines for 24 hours!

Fourth: No one in the government could take credit for the miracle

... And ....

Fifth: It wasn’t George Bush’s fault! WOW!


64 posted on 02/06/2009 1:20:00 PM PST by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: Lucky9teen
Dilbert.com
65 posted on 02/06/2009 2:57:39 PM PST by cartan
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To: cartan

I love that gag, but is it a real Dilbert? I get the impression that the real Scott Adams would never do a joke like that. Firearms are mentioned and there’s not some kind of aside as to how only nutty people own them.


66 posted on 02/06/2009 3:01:03 PM PST by Richard Kimball (We're all criminals. They just haven't figured out what some of us have done yet.)
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To: Richard Kimball
Sure is :) I also liked this one:

Dilbert.com

I have a feeling we’re going to need his humor again once 0bama gets going with all this stimulus nonsense…

67 posted on 02/06/2009 3:11:20 PM PST by cartan
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To: Lucky9teen
You Are 72% Capitalist, 28% Socialist
In general, you support a free economy and business interests.
You tend to think people should fend for themselves, even when times get tough.
However, do think the government should help those who are truly in need.
Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

68 posted on 02/06/2009 3:28:57 PM PST by Old Sarge (Obama Dozed, People Froze)
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To: pookie18

Glad to see you, Pookie!


69 posted on 02/06/2009 3:30:05 PM PST by Old Sarge (Obama Dozed, People Froze)
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To: Old Sarge

Back atcha, Old Sarge! Still doing the toon threads at other sites...


70 posted on 02/06/2009 3:46:17 PM PST by pookie18 (Jindal-Palin or Palin-Jindal '12)
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To: pookie18

Pookie dear!
Howdy do my friend! :)
((Hugs))
How’s the ball-n-chain? LOL


71 posted on 02/06/2009 4:01:33 PM PST by MeekMom (Support Israel: http://tinyurl.com/74fyyk)
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To: Old Sarge

Some of the questions for that quiz are worded extremely poorly.


72 posted on 02/06/2009 4:10:51 PM PST by Darksheare (Hi, I'm D-sheare, and I am proud to inform you of your Impending Typos!)
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To: MeekMom
Hi, {{Meeky}}! Ha! Still have 11 weeks to go & if I felt that way I wouldn't be doing it :)


73 posted on 02/06/2009 4:13:33 PM PST by pookie18 (Jindal-Palin or Palin-Jindal '12)
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To: pookie18

LOL
You nut. I thought you already got hitched!
Don’t be nervous...
Just kiss your wallet goodbye! :)

LOL
xoxoxoxoxo


74 posted on 02/06/2009 4:18:36 PM PST by MeekMom (Support Israel: http://tinyurl.com/74fyyk)
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To: MeekMom

Not nervous & if I’m a nut, she can help me...she’s a psychologist...


75 posted on 02/06/2009 4:32:36 PM PST by pookie18 (Jindal-Palin or Palin-Jindal '12)
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To: Lucky9teen
You Are 72% Capitalist, 28% Socialist
In general, you support a free economy and business interests.
You tend to think people should fend for themselves, even when times get tough.
However, do think the government should help those who are truly in need.
Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

76 posted on 02/06/2009 5:00:21 PM PST by Nowhere Man (Is Barak HUSSEIN Obama an Anti-Christ? - B.O. Stinks! (Robert Riddle))
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To: MeekMom
LOL
You nut. I thought you already got hitched!
Don’t be nervous...
Just kiss your wallet goodbye! :)

LOL
xoxoxoxoxo

 

xoxoxoxo

:)

77 posted on 02/06/2009 5:42:49 PM PST by BigSkyFreeper (There is no alternative to the GOP except varying degrees of insanity)
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To: pookie18
Not nervous & if I’m a nut, she can help me...she’s a psychologist...

So instead of paying for a psychologist, you married one! :)

78 posted on 02/06/2009 5:44:06 PM PST by BigSkyFreeper (There is no alternative to the GOP except varying degrees of insanity)
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To: BigSkyFreeper

Well...I will be...why buy a cow... :(


79 posted on 02/06/2009 6:06:07 PM PST by pookie18 (Jindal-Palin or Palin-Jindal '12)
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To: Lucky9teen
You Are 100% Capitalist, 0% Socialist
You're a capitalist pig - and proud of it.
You believe that business makes the world great...
And you'd never be ashamed of being rich!
Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

80 posted on 02/06/2009 11:17:02 PM PST by IYellAtMyTV (Workday Forecast--Increasing pressure towards afternoon. Rum likely by evening.)
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To: IYellAtMyTV

Me too.


81 posted on 02/07/2009 11:42:18 AM PST by Cyber Ninja (His legacy is a stain OnTheDress)
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