Skip to comments.Virgin: the world's best passenger complaint letter?
Posted on 05/15/2009 8:54:55 PM PDT by loreldan
Dear Mr Branson
REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008
I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.
Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at thehands of your corporation.
Look at this Richard. Just look at it: [see image 1, above].
I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?
You dont get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, its next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. Thats got to be the clue hasnt it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in: [see image 2, above].
I know it looks like a baaji but its in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well youll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. Its only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter.
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
Definitely funny. I’m still wiping tears from my eyes.
Gotta love the Brits. They can civilly insult you and you will smile and shake their hand and it’ll be an hour later before you’ll finally realize they called you a SOB. LOL.
...it formed a cheese, Richard, a cheese.
Agreed, very funny stuff.
Worst food I ever had was on Korean Air. Second worst was on Alitalia. Both in business class. Delta has very good dinners in business class in the last couple years, but their lunches are best skipped entirely.
And they have humor that DOESN’T involve crass talk.
“She made my name sound like some sort of toilet-cleaning product... ‘Rimmer.’”
“But that’s your name, Rimmer.”
“It’s how she said it!”
“Its mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.
Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard. “
Hilarious! Thanks for posting.
There’s hope yet for England with people like that.
Dying laughing here!
Haven’t laughed that much in a long time. Hilarious.
Red Dwarf ping.
I’m not eating the pot noodle...
I once received a free stainless steel vacumn cup from Microsoft. The handle was missing a screw. I wrote Microsoft a mock bug ticket making a suggestion for an enhancement for “Cup 2.0” via e-mail. They loved it - apparently they had sent out a few Cup 1.0’s and everyone else was rude or abusive. I received a phone call back and two new cups.
I laughed so much I’m now having an asthma attack. This guy is brilliant.
I remember watching a WWII documentary, and the British pilot said something like, “... when we crash landed into the water, the cabin started filling with water we started to leave because, you know, there’s no future in that.”
You had to be there. :)
Classic! Thanks for posting!
funniest thing I’ve read in ages .. those Brits have such a way with words. It’s 6am, I haven’t quite made it to sleep yet from Friday morning, and am sitting alone laughing out loud. Will probably wake the whole family up.