Cops: Driver was under influence of bowl of cereal

AP on Yahoo ^ | 5/18/09 | AP

[NormsRevenge]

NEEDHAM, Mass. – A Massachusetts man may wish he had breakfast in bed instead of in his car. Police said a man who was stopped for erratic driving on Central Avenue last week was eating a bowl of cereal and milk while he drove. He told officers he was hungry.

...

Schlittler didn't know what kind of cereal the driver was eating.

[NormsRevenge]

I hope it wasn't Cheerios.

No, wait, maybe he can qualify for a drug diversion program if it is Cheerios.

[hoosiermama]

I was going to ask if it was CHeerios.....LOL

[RexBeach]

That police lieutenant has one heckuva name.

[Pistolshot]

His nickname is ‘Little Crapper’.

[NormsRevenge]

lol.. it almost reads like a scene from the next Police Academy

[nickcarraway]

Misleading headline. He wasn't driving under the influence of cereal, he was eating while driving. To suggest that the ingestion of cereal would impair driving is ridiculous. But, if you are doing something like eating, while you are driving, and it impairs your driving, don't complain if you get stopped for it.

[gdzla]

“Silly rabbit........”

[ConservativeMan55]

LOL

[jakerobins]

LOL! Oh no...I might be guilty too. I had a Honey nut Cheerios bar on the way to work...I hope I don’t get a urine test! Will the Moms that carry little baggies of cheerios around be charged with distribution?? Or perhaps Trafficking? Insane world we live in...

[mowowie]

i grew up in the town next to Needham.
It used to be a good town until property values skyrocketed and all of the original residents moved out to capatalize on their new found wealth.

Now Needham is chock full of Moonbats.

[Dr. Sivana]

There are ways to do this right.

Buy a pint of milk.
Take a couple of big slugs.
Add cereal directly to the carton.
Pinch carton closed and shake vigorously.
Reopen carton and enjoy your portable breakfast.

Note: Be sure to use a cereal that floats on the milk a bit, and does not need supplemenart sugar. Do NOT try this with shredded wheat.

[GSWarrior]

That’s Life!

[ExiledChicagoan]

He was undercover on a case...3 women found dead in their bathtubs in the last month, the tubs filled with Cheerios. Cops are now looking for a cereal killer.

[TheBattman]

At least he wasn’t talking on a cell phone... those things cause accidents...

[stainlessbanner]

You don’t know Schittler!

[Ditter]

I figured he was rushing home because the bran had started to work.

[shotdog]

Fruit Loops. Had to be Fruit Loops.

[GSWarrior]

[justlurking]

When cereal is outlawed, only outlaws will have cereal.

[Trajan88]

... or Saturday Night Live’s (John Belushi skit) “Colon Blow.”

[spotbust1]

I passed a lady on I-20 east of Atlanta. She was eating a piece of cake off a glass plate with a fork. She was driving with her left knee. All this while driving below the speed limit in the extreme left lane.

[KarlInOhio]

I passed a lady on I-20 east of Atlanta. She was eating a piece of cake off a glass plate with a fork. She was driving with her left knee. All this while driving below the speed limit in the extreme left lane.

I had a car that was very good at locking up the brakes and giving a good tire screech (darn anti-lock brakes in new cars). It was more effective than a horn in telling the other driver "you really just screwed up". One little squeal and that cake might hit the car's ceiling.

[dmz]

C’mon, you know they still sell the 8 packs of cereal that you open along the side, and pour milk directly into the cereal package itself.

[Kimmers]

Come on y'all are making jokes about this but this is cereal !!!!!

[sheik yerbouty]

He was on traffic doody..

[Dr. Sivana]

C’mon, you know they still sell the 8 packs of cereal that you open along the side, and pour milk directly into the cereal package itself.

Do they?! I've only seen plastic bowls these days.

Several problems with that approach.

1. The liners always dribbled.
2. If they have fixed the liners so they don't dribble, you are still likely to stick the knife in too far and create a leak on your own.
3. The portion sizes are two mouthfulls. You could actually fit more in a half emptied pint of milk.
4. The ones I grew up on expected you to cut an "I" shape in the waxed cardboard. If you use the smaller side opening, you will have the milk dribbling on your chin as the liner is not flush with the box.

Boy what I would give to have one last bowl of Quake or Rice Krinkles.

[rednesss]

You’d have to eat 6,000 bowls of your cereal to equal the fiber found in Colon Blow.

[rednesss]

And it was Phil Hartman, not John Belushi.

[SunkenCiv]

Ironically, the name of the officer who pulled him over was Captain Crunch.

[WeaverXP]

I’m guessing Weedies.

It’s normal Wheaties with a picture of Michael Phelps on the box.

[spotbust1]

One little squeal and that cake might hit the car's ceiling.

Now that would have been funny. I have a hard time locking up the breaks on my Ford F250. I could have put a few nice sized dents in her car with minimal damage to my truck though.

[Trajan88]

Ahhh... you're correct ;-)

I must have had this Belushi greatness on the brain: Little Chocolate Donuts

[techcor]

Good thing he didn’t hit anyone. He might have been a cereal killer. At the very least he might have Totaled his car.

[meyer]

That’s Life...

[ClearCase_guy]

I’m just glad no one on this thread has accused the cop of being some kind of Nazi. I think Officer Schlittler was just doing his duty.