Skip to comments.Dear Abby: Son upset that dad's started dating men
Posted on 05/19/2009 12:58:22 PM PDT by South Hawthorne
DEAR ABBY: My father is 83. My mother has been dead for more than 30 years. Since then, Dad has been involved with many women.
But, since he turned 70, he has become involved with men, which he says he finds very rewarding and much less complicated.
Dad and I always had an open and honest relationship. We have a lot of homosexual family members and friends.
At the same time, I'm shocked that the fact that he is gay has been so difficult for me to accept.
Have you any suggestions on how I might better deal with this?
- Caring Son in Miami
DEAR CARING SON: Your father appears to be bisexual, which means he is attracted to both men and women.
Whereas he may not have wanted to admit to himself or to you years ago that he had feelings for people of the same sex, it is no longer shocking to be open about it. Times have changed. Today a person's sexual orientation is no longer considered something to be kept hidden.
One constructive way to "deal with it" would be to realize how fortunate you are to have the kind of relationship you have always had with your dad. Be supportive, don't judge and love him for the parent he has always been.
I think I'm going to be sick.
I'm going to make all of you sick too.
Too late, I’m already sick from it, I read it this morning.
Did you ever wonder what really happened to that little hamster you had as a boy?
Sounds like they made a trip to Viagra Falls.
Isn’t it disgusting how she tows the liberal line and says this is normal behavior and the son should just accept it?
Yes, this makes me sick.
THIS makes me sicker: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2254042/posts
“....realize how fortunate you are to have the kind of relationship you have always had with your dad. Be supportive, don’t judge and love him for the parent he has always been.....”
“If you do not accept him you’re a BIGOT and unfit to be his son...BTW, if you’re a Christian you are EVIL....change your ways”!
Huh? What a family and social circle that must be!
Yes indeed :(
one sure sign of dementia is the loosening of sexual mores as people age.....but this is the first I have heard of a man switching teams. yikes. glad that didn’t happen with my mom....I would have been grossed out beyond belief.
Man, that sucks big time.
GAAK!....83 years old?....Good luck to the old gay fart!
Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair’s falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I’ve no friends at all
Won’t you write me a letter, Won’t you give me a call
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain’t what you ain’t
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
Actually, it's a sign that you haven't been completely lobotomized.
Be supportive, don't judge and love him for the parent he has always been.
Nothing says, "I care," like, "whatever."
He's got a point there.
I am so stealing that line and heavily recycling it.
Note to self:NEVER write to Dear Abby for advice.
Does dad have money and do we know that the gay men are older men. Gays, especially younger gay men are very good at finding emotionally needy older people with money and draining their bank accounts for their own hedonistic desires. I had a friend that got into this. He was always sexually ambiguous, some might say Bi. After his wife left him he got involved with a couple of gay guys. He lost a clear and free inherited 60 acre farm and farm house to foreclosure after mortgaging it to the hilt to pay for his “new” friends lavish lifestyle, trips and parties. Guess how long they stayed around after the money ran out?
Bisexuals are also the main reason AIDS spreads to heterosexuals. Not to mention being bi is all about self gratification since they have NO standards and will stick it in anything that comes their way, male or female. At least full blown gays have (some) standards. I have more respect (but still very little) for them than bi's because of it.
You HAD to go there.....
I bet Dr. Laura would say to take him to have an MRI. There was a woman on that said her father was coming on to lots of different women (a change from the past) and I remember Dr. Laura saying that an older person who starts acting differently sexually should be scanned for having dementia/alzheimers.
I think that is a pretty good recommendation for an elderly person.
sounds like he’s got dementia.. consider medication
and mud butt
“...Dad and I always had an open and honest relationship. We have a lot of homosexual family members and friends...”
Now you know why, dufus.
It all started with that first prostate exam at 40...
....realize how fortunate you are to have the kind of relationship you have always had with your dad. Be supportive, dont judge and love him for the parent he has always been.....
Actually, not to get into a religious fight, but that sounds quite Christ-like to me. Love others, don’t judge, respect your elders, etc.
Easier said than done, though. I would be pretty shocked if I were in the son’s shoes.
Whereas he may not have wanted to admit to himself or to you years ago that making moral choices means more than doing whatever you want at all times, this has now become a challenge to him. Times have changed for your father. Today your father's sexual orientation requires more help for him to control.
One constructive way to "deal with it" would be to realize how fortunate you are to have the kind of relationship where your dad cries out for help when he needs your attention. Be supportive, love him for the parent he has always been, and give him as much attention in his time of need as he gave you as a child, so that he won't have to seek out "uncomplicated" attention through homosexual acts.
This country is screwed up.
I get much better advice from Mary Worth.
Fine, we disagree.
You omitted the part where Christ would say “When you are having sex with other men, that is wrong, but that wrong is not enough to take you outside my love. Repent, be at peace, go and sin no more”.
The judging part is way out of context also. The Bible teaches christians that they will “judge angels”, they are to “privately rebuke some one that is sinning” and “teach righteousness”. New age cafeteria christianity, where you load up on the love & grace and blow off the holiness & righteousness makes for christianity warped beyond the gospel.
I haven't recovered from Obama's ND doublespeak "open heart, open mind, golden rule" abortion speech and now this.
Robert D. Rayford, JohnBoy and Billy Big Show!
Nodding, I understand that language!!!
I don't care what "Dear Abby" says. This guy and your aunt prove that it is a choice. (Along with all the "lesbian till graduation" people.)
Are we related?
My aunt was in Marin County, CA.
Your sister did that? Weird, huh?
No fight, but your notion of what constitutes "Christ-like" is rather secular. Christ demonstrated nothing but disdain for those who would not acknowledge their sinfulness.
Thanks for nothing Owl_Eagle.
“the old gay fart!”
Apparently, he ain’t what he used to be...
RE: “My aunt decided to go all dikey after raising 5 kids to adulthood in a very catholic household.”
My relative, a nearly 40 year old female, left her husband and two kids, ages 14 and 12, for a dikey character — to the shock and horror of the family. The dumped husband was especially upset since his own mother had left the family years ago for another — at least she chose a MAN to leave for.
The two kids in this new scenario are devastated — and are both girls — imagine being 12 and 14 year old girls and having your mom ‘switch teams!’
The kicker is that mother of the team=-switcher, herself one of the original San Francisco hippies and her old hippie husband, are NOT taking this well, NOT open minded, and are in total denial that their daughter could be gay. Really amazing...........
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