Russian Tourists Have Sex With a Porcupine (Florida)

pravda.com ^ | 5-18-09 | pravda

[WOBBLY BOB]

Two Russian tourists paid a very high price for breaking the American law which bans sex with porcupines.

Staying in Florida on vacation, two Russians from Saint Petersburg decided to check whether they are able to circumvent such an unusual law or not.

[WOBBLY BOB]

vodka is the magic stupid elixir

[rabscuttle385]

Wth.

[ArrogantBustard]

“Thou Shalt Not Bugger Porcupines” may be a law of the State of Florida, but far more importantly it’s a Law of Nature.

[DonaldC]

I would have liked to see that...lol

[Kolb]

That was a prickly situation!

[linn37]

Having sobered up the following morning the friends realized that they need medical help.

Hence the law decreeing no sex with porcupines,it just makes good sense.

[dynachrome]

Laz, you Russian?

[OneWingedShark]

LOL

[Islander7]

This could lead to some thorny international repercussions.

[Kartographer]

This story needs some romantic music say “Stuck on you” or maybe “Love Hurts”?

[andy58-in-nh]

Stuck on stupid.

[RichInOC]

Okay, I have just one question:

...Why?

And “they were drunk” doesn’t cut it. I’ve been roaring, and I’ve never remotely wanted to have sex with something that can prick me more and harder than I can prick it.

[TypeZoNegative]

Saint Petersberg, Russia or STPG, Florida?

[WOBBLY BOB]

they were a couple of pricks.

[Vaquero]

Prickley!!

[RansomOttawa]

They need a law against that?

[allmendream]

What is amazing is that two porcupines can have sex at all.

The male starts the process by dousing the female in his urine. If this helps wets down the spines or just gets them both in the mood is subject to debate.

The female also has to get in the correct position for the act, as one might imagine there is no such thing as porcupine rape.

The male, after insemination, leaves behind a waxy plug, making the task of the NEXT male porcupine even more difficult.

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

porcupine is the name I give to certain women.

[bethybabes69]

This story needs some romantic music say “Stuck on you” or maybe “Love Hurts”?

LOL . . LOL . . LOL
Thanks for that!

[tet68]

Well, it’s obvious they weren’t muslim russians...
cause they did it with a PORK-upine.
haha.ha.

[WOBBLY BOB]

And you thought this was the land of the free?(sarc)

[Doomonyou]

I don't think so, Scooter.

[bethybabes69]

The male starts the process by dousing the female in his urine. If this helps wets down the spines or just gets them both in the mood is subject to debate. The female also has to get in the correct position for the act, as one might imagine there is no such thing as porcupine rape. The male, after insemination, leaves behind a waxy plug, making the task of the NEXT male porcupine even more difficult.

Sounds like the script from that famous movie, 'A Night With Bill Clinton'

[andy58-in-nh]

I don’t know. How ugly do the women in your little Russian home town have to be (and how much vodka would it take) to make you look at a porcupine and think, “Hmm.. you know, I could really get into some of that...”?

[21twelve]

I thought the Title was Russian Tortoise .... And I thought THAT was weird.

[tet68]

the American law which bans sex with porcupines.

Now really, isn’t this going a little far?
We have to have a law against this?
Porcupine sex should be it’s own reward.
Next thing you know they’ll want to outlaw
muskrat love.

[WOBBLY BOB]

Russian Helen Thomas?

[Electric Graffiti]

"It's not worth it....believe me"

[downtownconservative]

Famous quote: “There is nothing new under the sun”

While this is impossible for a sane person to fathom, these vodka-headed ruskies are probably not the original perps...some other ruskie probably is.

[Kartographer]

"Now really, isn’t this going a little far? We have to have a law against this? Porcupine sex should be it’s own reward. Next thing you know they’ll want to outlaw muskrat love."

You are so right! That law must have been passed by a bunch of dirty Right-wing Porcupineophobes!

[Bob J]

Why post this crap on FR?

[Doomonyou]

I'll raise you about 5000 quills...

[jongaltsr]

Give a new meaning to the word "Prick".

[Electric Graffiti]

Oh my GAWD....definitely a deranged dog. Must be a pitbull.

[andy58-in-nh]

Russian Helen Thomas?

Come 'n' get it, boychick...

[Sarajevo]

That’s ballsy!

[seatrout]

Good grief. What was that dog thinking?

[Billthedrill]

One more box checked on BtD’s list of things never to try.

[dinodino]

WTF. I live in FL, and I have no idea how one would go about finding a porcupine. I mean, it’s not like they’re on every tree here like squirrels.

[353FMG]

It hurts just looking at that poor dog.

[silverleaf]

Thanks for sharing ....

[GSWarrior]

The clock is ticking on this thread, perhaps.

[Lizavetta]

LOL!

[allmendream]

All I am saying is that I envision a male porcupine advising these two kvnuckle-heads that it is a rather difficult undertaking even for a professional.

[x]

How do Russian Tourists have sex with a porcupine?

The usual punchline is "Very carefully."

But in this case, "Very drunkenly" would probably be closer to the truth.

[dangerdoc]

I can picture the guy who wrote the bill.

” I know it is the one thing nobody would ever do but there is always one jerk that feels compelled to break the law, lets see them break this one.”

[Ramius]

Good grief. What was that dog thinking?

I'm guessing it's: "Ow. owow. ow. ow. ow. ow-ow-ow." Or, something like that.

I don't know why they do it either, especially after the first quill. I had a black Lab that did something very much like that. Dozens, if not hundreds of quills. One right through his tongue. Poor guy was miserable, but: he never licked a porcupine again.

[Titan Magroyne]

In lieu of there not being a "WHY?" ping list...

You know if there's a law, this ain't the FIRST time!

[Cheburashka]

The male starts the process by dousing the female in his urine.

---

A nice dinner, a gold pendant, a box of chocolates, some bottles of cheap vodka, douse her in urine, whatever. Ya do whatever it takes to get her in the mood.

I've got to admit though, I don't see the urine thing as a winning strategy, percentagewise.

[allmendream]

Yes, I think it is a peculiarity of this species and a few enthusiasts among our own.

Que Chapelle making fun of R Kelly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJkND9AlMPw