Posted on 07/14/2009 10:48:56 AM PDT by Woebama
Every now and then I feel a pang of loss and longing that takes me completely by surprise. I might be sitting in a cafe talking to friends, or wandering around the supermarket.
Then I see a mother with her child and the realisation hits me, as if for the first time - that's never going to be me. If someone had told my 25-year-old self that I would end up here - aged 45, newly married and, sadly for us both, without a hope of ever getting pregnant - I wouldn't have believed them. It would have seemed incredible that love would take so long to find me; that becoming a mother would ever matter so much; or that my fertility - a gift that, at the time, seemed more like an inconvenience - would plummet far beyond the point at which doctors could work their magic. Yet, it is a fact my husband David and I have spent the past year learning to accept. I know it sounds naive but, when we met four years ago, it never crossed our minds that having a baby would be an impossibility.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1199491/Seduced-stories-stars-giving-birth-later-IVF-myths-career-obsessed-Lucy-believed-children-love-wait.html#ixzz0LFzliqOh&C
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
I did read the story. It’s about two selfish people who just figured out they’ve been had.
Doesn’t change the fact that having a baby is about them, their needs, their wants, their DNA.
If it was really about family values and forming a family in order to pass on their values and culture, they’d adopt a baby from anywhere or even go with donor eggs.
But it’s still really all about them and it’s all the fault of the deceptive media and celebrities who haven’t been upfront about the use of donor eggs.
But it was nice of them to warn others tripping down the same primrose path of deluded self absorption.
Good for you. When you go back to school with some life experience, you have such an advantage. It almost feels like you’re taking unfair advantage of the young kids in the class.
Nice post...........
Lyrical version: (Country - female lead singer)
Chorus:
Every now and then I feel a pang of loss
The longing that overwhelms me comes at a terrible cost.
I might be sitting in a cafe talking to friends,
or wandering around the supermarket - it feels just like the bends.
Melody:
Then I see a mother with her child and the realization hits me,
as if for the first time - that’s never going to be me.
If someone had told my 25-year-old self that I would end up vacant–
aged 45, newly married and, sadly for both of us, without a hope of ever getting pregnant
I wouldn’t have believed them. It would have seemed so incredible
That love would take so long to find me; becoming so indelible
that becoming a mother would ever matter so much; or that my fertility –
a gift that, at the time, seemed more like an inconvenient frivolity
would plummet far beyond the point at which doctors could work their magic.
Yet, it is a fact my husband David and I have spent the past year learning to accept as automatic
I know it sounds naive but, when we met four years ago,
it never crossed our minds that having a baby we would forgo.
Chorus:
Every now and then I feel a pang of loss
The longing that overwhelms me comes at a terrible cost.
I might be sitting in a cafe talking to friends,
or wandering around the supermarket - feels just like the bends.
Her career gave her meaning.
I have found that single career women are attracted to homosexual men who will fawn and preen over them. They will demand that hetero men do the same and end up going from fantasy relationship to fantasy relationship. They will pretend the straight guys will be like the gay guys and then break up with them when they discover they are not. Or end up with an unemployed artist who is smart enough to know that SHE is his job but that will eventually fall flat as well. Too late, she will discover Mr Right who turns out to be a divorced Jewish guy who will act caring in exchange for her willingness to ignore his mistresses or misters.
But she is past baby time and all her new friends are watching their kids grow.
I was just under the mean....and I did feel like I had a great advantage.....over those younger than I.
Infertility, IMHO, is the silent epidemic no one is talking about. At least half of the women I know have dealt with or are currently dealing with infertility issues. More and more men are also dealing with low sperm numbers. I swear its 'Children of Men' coming true...
Absolutely. I’ve met so many people who are afraid to go back to school because they think they’ve “lost it.” The maturity they bring to the classroom more than makes up for the fact that they haven’t been studying for a while. It’s easy to catch up.
You might have twins:)They are going around.My daughter has five children-oldest is 10.She is going back for her Masters in Sept.
My wife and I have a 10 year old grand daughter living with us and she doesn't have any of our DNA. We are the legal guardians of her and her 9 year old brother who does have our DNA. We are the only grand parents she has really had.
A judge made it official about a year ago that a grand parental relationship was firmly established and that she is indeed our grand daughter.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I've been reading this thread, thinking I feel no sorrow for this lady, but not having words to explain why...thank you for helping me find them.
There's a saying in sales that you can't sell anything to anyone, you can just help them buy.
There's another saying...you can't con a honest person.
She got what she asked for...too bad for her it's not what she wanted.
Were I to feel some form of sorrow or pity or sympathy for her, it would require first that I consider her an innocent bystander in her own life. That would be immoral, IMO.
It is what it is. I have no sympathy for those who've p!$$ed in the well, and now don't like the way the coffee tastes.
She is smart, attractive and pretty savvy. And has a big advantage over those with less life lessons.....
I know she will succeed....
Thank you for your eloquence! Just what I was thinking!
With the long runway that middle-class couples face, I’m wondering if the only long-term-viable approach might be to have kids immediately after college and have the grandparents help (or mostly) raise them. This old fart would not mind having young children around the house again.
You know, when women are young, unless they have a parent with a strong religious or philosophically pro-family background, they will absorb the lessons of the popular culture about what is good and desirable.
Yes, this woman had a choice. But she may not have had both sides presented to her fairly.
About ten years ago, I met a woman about my age while I was traveling with an NGO in a third world country. She was a member of the upper class. She was religious, but as an educated woman, she was very influenced by “modern” ideas, mostly emanating from Europe.
She became teary eyed when I told her I had six children. She said she had only had two, because in her schooling, she had been trained to think that that was the “modern” way to do things, and that only by limiting family size could her country advance. Not having more children was one of the biggest regrets of her life. She was choosing between what she thought were two “goods.” It wasn’t her fault that she was presented with a false choice.
No, I think it’s good planning to make sure you can provide for a family. I’d only been married four years when we began planning and we waited until we had some money in the bank and had bought our first home. My experience isn’t typical so don’t worry too much.
i have been fortunate enough to have both of those experiences. my son was born when i was 27 and he is now 14. after his father passed away i just did the single mom hibernation thing. i finally found a delightful man and remarried, we tried to have another child the old fashioned way but i miscarried. 2 yrs later we chose to adopt our daughter from china. it was very liberating to make that decision and stop obsessing over trying to concieve. i loved being pregnant and with my son and even 36 hours of labor did not dampen my awe with the process. but my little girl who is now 3, is a gift from God that i could not live without. the adoption process is daunting and nitpicky but i loved finding the child God meant for us to have even if she did get rerouted to china first.:)
They’re just so cute at that age...
That is a most insightful and profound comment. Your life experience has clearly given you great wisdom.
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