Posted on 08/27/2009 5:35:03 AM PDT by TornadoAlley3
ZACHARY, LOUISIANA (WAFB) - Zachary police say surveillance video shows a woman steal a 12-pack of beer from a small grocery store by putting it between her legs and waddling away.
She is also suspected of shoving several cans of soda into her top.
The Miller Light and soft drinks were taken from the Cross Roads Grocery on August 2.
"It's just amazing how people go this far to steal," said David McDavid with the police department. "It just doesn't make sense."
However, this "beer between the legs" bandit apparently didn't work alone.
The video also shows a man try to hide the woman as she shimmies down the aisle while tucking the beer between her legs.
Zachary police are also looking for her alleged partner in crime.
That puts a whole new twist on the phrase “hold muh beer.”
You beat me to it!!!!!!!!!!
Ick.
It’s too early in the morning for that mental image!
Holy Cow...
Brain bleach, STAT!
I don’t know if I would put my hands anywhere near the evidence.
Why this Bush light tastes like p*ss!
Hasn’t it always?
A business associate of mine some years ago told me that when he had been head of security at Jewel T he caught a woman stealing a frozen turkey between her legs. He had a little fun and just followed her around until she became exhausted and finally dropped the turkey.
Reminds me of that girl from Maine about a year ago who was a passenger in a car stopped by the NH State Patrol with 16 grams of cocaine stashed you-know-where...and no, the image isn’t any better.
Alcohol abuse!

...."and then in the middle of summer heat in LOUISIANA she puts the beer between her legs, pop tops down I'm sure, and waddles out the store. I'm preeety sure she had gotten and bikini wax a few days before, and she must of looked funny considering she was pretty thin, I think, maybe"
A surprise for her boyfriend.
I would assume she’s going to have to rerefridgerate prior to consumption.
“When did Miller start making Nut Brown Ale?”
That header is just...wrong
A 12-pack? Day-Um girl. Maybe with practice you can get out wid a whole case. Or a keg.
Is that a 12-pack between your legs, or are you just happy to see me?
Another in the long FreeRepublic tradition:
Man tries to smuggle balogna in shape of car seat:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/1027257/posts?page=1
Florida woman left 7-Eleven with “Big Mama” (pickled sausage) bulge in slacks
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2254285/posts?page=1
I thought they said she was stealing beer.
;-)
I’m not sure, but I think she might have voted for Obama. LOL! ;-)
Shelia Jackass Lee had no comment other than, “Damn, them beers was cold!”
Guilty!
Beer run ping
I hope they threw out the turkey after that and didn’t just put it back with the others to be sold! :-)
That’s racist!
Something smells fishy about this beer... Ping
I’d hit it.
“Um, that’s YOUR beer now...”
Better report it to flagmuhbeer@whitehouse...gov
Why do you think they mark down some of the meats and not other packages?
Sorry but already covered by “cult” film director John Waters in his classic “Pink Flamingos” in which Divine, the 300 lb. transvestite, steals a steak by concealing it in the very same place.
When discussing the theft in a later scene he/she says “I kept it in my own private oven”.
Life imitates art.
The beer was SO cold that her baby got a brain freeze.
It’s known as “boosting” and the same guy who made tons of bloody driver’s ed films in the 1950s and 1960s made an educational film about it for police and store owners.
Guilty!
She was guilty at “Miller Light”
Never underestimate the power of thunder thighs. And she probably needs some alcohol about now as she watches 100 years of progressive work being wee weed away by impatient children when she could have done it so much better.
OMG I live in Zachary!

Old trick, I've known about that beer trick for a long time.
Nooooooooooo! And we just bought, not waddled, a case. How can I drink it now?
You can't. Better send it to me.

I think I've found her perfect mate.
How come you can drink it? But anyway, which ones do you want? I like the smoky Islay's and it's a mixed case of Oban, Talisker, Bowmore, Classic of Islay, Lagavulin, Laphroaig, Caol Ila, and one bottle of Cuart-beatha.
Actually I can’t drink it, but I have a buddy who can. Waste not, want not.
Well, I hope it’s a really, really good buddy. Soooo... he likes Hitlery?
No, he likes Scotch.
Years ago, I was a soft drink salesman in Ft. Worth Texas. My area included a piece of the urban black section of town. I was in the front of a small neighborhood grocery store when the owner hauled a older black women up front and threatened to call the police if she didn't give up the cantaloupe she was hiding.
She hiked up her dress, squatted down and plopped out the cantaloupe onto the floor right out of her birth canal.
I swear this is true.
Some things that are seen cannot be unseen. I know this to be a fact
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