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The Real Reason Women Have Sex
Fox News | 22 September 2009 | Dr. Yvonne Fulbright

Posted on 09/22/2009 4:47:52 AM PDT by strider44

FOXSexpert: The Real Reason Women Have Sex Monday, September 21, 2009

Print FNC

“Why Women Have Sex.”

Given the stereotype that women are never in the mood, it’s not surprising that this book title is grabbing people’s attention. Written by researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss, the work flushes out the results of a survey of 1,006 women.

And their findings are all over the board; the authors highlight 200 reasons.

RELATED: New Book Reveals the Real Reason Women Have Sex

So why do women have sex? The vast majority (84 percent) have sex to guarantee a quiet life or to persuade their men to do some housework. Some of the other reasons given in interviews include...

1. She’s alleviating boredom – it gives her something to do.

2. She wants to relieve a stress headache or migraine.

3. She’s trying to put an end to an argument.

4. She wants a better complexion.

5. She’s thanking her date for a nice dinner, a present, or spending a lot of money on her early on in the relationship.

6. She’s after a spiritual experience since sex is seen as “the closest thing to God.”

7. She’s refining her sexual skills.

8. She feels sorry for the fellow.

9. She likes that he has an extravagant lifestyle.

10. She’s in a long-distance relationship and wants action now versus later.

Ironically, romance and passion ranked low on females’ reasons for having sex. Instead, sex was viewed as being all about fun, with 60 percent of survey respondents admitting to regularly sleeping with a male friend who was not their boyfriend.

Attraction, too, apparently ranks low on a lady’s list. What’s interesting to note about this factor is that while most men find most women sexually attractive, researchers said that the gals don’t see the guys in quite the same way.

Women reported being attracted to men who were described as tall, having a deep voice, and smelling good. A male having a symmetrical body was also liked, indicating that he could give her strong children. Still, those men not living up to such visions can take comfort in her preference of men with lower levels of testosterone, since this suggests that he’s less likely to pursue others.

It’s important to take these findings with a grain of salt. The way that they’ve been presented largely reinforces the idea that women aren’t sexual by nature as much as capable of using sex as a bargaining tool. Writings cast women as using sex manipulatively or to put up with a partner and her relationship.

Then, muddling matters in terms of how to interpret results is the issue of women having sex versus wanting sex. These are two different factors in one’s sexual activity that aren’t being dealt with independently. Which reasons are ones where women desired sex or skin-on-skin contact? Which reasons felt instinctual?

The University of Texas study has also been criticized for focusing solely on university students at the UT Austin campus who were mostly young and white. We have to remember that these are the results of one group of women — they’re not representative of all women. Still, the book’s press release claims that the work is the “richest and deepest psychological understanding of female sexuality.”

Really?

Collectively, the reasons presented in this survey make all women look conniving, selfish, narcissistic, and shallow when it comes to sex. It paints us as using sex for bartering purposes or approaching it as a hobby or sport. And while that may be the case for these women to some degree, the original research and book actually misrepresent all women by claiming that these findings apply to all of us.

There are a lot more reasons why women are having sex — and they aren’t being captured in this book.

If you ask me, and lot of other women of all ages and backgrounds out there, the reason women have sex, they’ll tell you... They’re having sex to express affection, to get in tune with their sexual core and feel sexy, to make love, to feel close to another, to maintain a long-term relationship by keeping the passion alive, to relish a shared, special moment... and because they like sex when it feels good.

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: female; femalechoice; male; relationships
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Comments should be interesting. Remember female freepers, this book was written by women not men. So don't flame me! I thought some of the reasons listed were pretty funny. Also, being a married father of two young children, they hit close to home.
1 posted on 09/22/2009 4:47:52 AM PDT by strider44
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To: strider44

You mean we have a choice??? (grin)


2 posted on 09/22/2009 4:51:04 AM PDT by hocndoc (http://www.LifeEthics.org (I've got a mustard seed and I'm not afraid to use it.))
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To: strider44
The University of Texas study has also been criticized for focusing solely on university students at the UT Austin campus who were mostly young and white. We have to remember that these are the results of one group of women — they’re not representative of all women. Still, the book’s press release claims that the work is the “richest and deepest psychological understanding of female sexuality.”

So, a bunch of very young, probably unmarried, COLLEGE students were the only ones asked?

3 posted on 09/22/2009 4:53:05 AM PDT by hocndoc (http://www.LifeEthics.org (I've got a mustard seed and I'm not afraid to use it.))
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To: strider44

>>2. She wants to relieve a stress headache or migraine. <<

“I have a headache.”

“And I am here to help”

:)


4 posted on 09/22/2009 4:55:06 AM PDT by freedumb2003 (Communism comes to America: 1/20/2009. Keep your powder dry, folks. Sic semper tyrannis)
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To: strider44

“The Real Reason Women Have Sex Monday”

And here I thought Saturday was the traditional night.


5 posted on 09/22/2009 4:57:03 AM PDT by yazoo (Conservatives believe what they see. Liberals see what they believe.)
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To: strider44

well - I kept going down that list looking for something like...”because I love my husband and he’s smokin’ hot!”
But never found it!

And then after reading the article you realize this group of women don’t even have husbands.

And then you realize this is a college atmosphere -which, sadly, has devolved into a Godless, hedonistic, leftist pit of waste.

very sad.


6 posted on 09/22/2009 5:00:04 AM PDT by Scotswife
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To: strider44

Those aren’t the reasons. Gah! Who answered those questions anyway?


7 posted on 09/22/2009 5:01:54 AM PDT by madison10
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To: strider44

11) Thought he was somebody else.


8 posted on 09/22/2009 5:02:39 AM PDT by Junior_G
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To: strider44

I hate studies based on the reactions and thoughts of college kids. They have no connection whatever to the reactions and thoughts of women in the general population.

If you could see how most of these studies gather subjects—by putting a sign-up sheet on the psychology department bulletin board, promising extra credit for psychology undergraduates (who are not the brightest of the bright anyway)—you would realize the essential design flaws of these “studies.” Why anyone would pay attention to such exercises is beyond me.


9 posted on 09/22/2009 5:06:51 AM PDT by ottbmare (I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.)
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To: strider44

“The Real Reason Men Have Sex”

Because She said we could. Yay!


10 posted on 09/22/2009 5:09:16 AM PDT by RabidBartender (I will work harder, Napoleon is always right.)
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To: strider44
Remember female freepers, this book was written by women not men.

Oh! Well, that explains the sampling errors, lack of experimental controls, failure to state an initial hypothesis, neglect to separate or normalize for interdependent variables, poor statistical analysis of the results, and an inability to state how their conclusion logically derives from the data. Duh, girls can't do science!

(...running away!)

11 posted on 09/22/2009 5:10:55 AM PDT by Omedalus
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To: strider44

In other words, hookers and porn stars will continue to have job security.


12 posted on 09/22/2009 5:13:22 AM PDT by DogBarkTree (Support Sarah. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/sarahpalin?ref=nf)
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To: strider44
The real reason women have sex?

To get a house. After that, the candy store is never open.

13 posted on 09/22/2009 5:14:21 AM PDT by Pistolshot (Brevity: Saying a lot, while saying very little.)
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To: strider44
Sincere question: what the devil do having a “better complexion” and having sex have to do with each other?
14 posted on 09/22/2009 5:14:27 AM PDT by utahagen
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To: strider44
A male having a symmetrical body was also liked, indicating that he could give her strong children. Still, those men not living up to such visions can take comfort in her preference of men with lower levels of testosterone, since this suggests that he’s less likely to pursue others.

This is where the need to make evolution fit every action makes a lot of research into crap (not that this research wasn't already crap). Any finding, no matter what it is, is given an evolutionary reason without the least bit of evidence. If women prefer large men, its for the protection and strong children. If they pick small men, its for easier child birth. If they pick violent men its because they are dominant males. If they pick passive men, its because they are more dedicated providers. etc., etc., etc.

The beauty of it is that the proof is always that we exist. Thus everything we do can be proved to be evolutionarily driven, because evolution drives everything and we exist.

I know this is a sidebar issue, and I'm not even arguing against evolution, just this tendency to justify this type of crap as evolutionary behavior, so that someone can fluff a little "science" into their grant project.

15 posted on 09/22/2009 5:15:23 AM PDT by SampleMan (Socialism enslaves you & kills your soul.)
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To: strider44
I can tell you why they don't.

(Boy, can I tell you.)

16 posted on 09/22/2009 5:15:30 AM PDT by Blogatron (We now have a presidential portrait to put on food stamps.)
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To: strider44

Additionally, I’m shocked that “beer” is nowhere in the top ten.


17 posted on 09/22/2009 5:15:56 AM PDT by SampleMan (Socialism enslaves you & kills your soul.)
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To: Scotswife
"And then you realize this is a college atmosphere -which, sadly, has devolved into a Godless, hedonistic, leftist pit of waste."

Gee whiz, they've been like that since Ancient Greece.

18 posted on 09/22/2009 5:16:51 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (~"This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps !"~~)
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To: ottbmare
If you could see how most of these studies gather subjects—by putting a sign-up sheet on the psychology department bulletin board, promising extra credit for psychology undergraduates (who are not the brightest of the bright anyway)—you would realize the essential design flaws of these “studies.” Why anyone would pay attention to such exercises is beyond me.

What are the differences between using lab rats and psych freshmen in studies?

1. You can get a random sample with the rats.
2. The rats are generally brighter.
3. There is no group People for the Ethical Treatment of Freshmen.
4. You might feel pity for the rats' plight in experiments dealing with electrical shocks.

19 posted on 09/22/2009 5:19:07 AM PDT by KarlInOhio ("I can run wild for six months ...after that, I have no expectation of success" - Admiral Obama-moto)
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To: SampleMan

$?


20 posted on 09/22/2009 5:20:26 AM PDT by killermosquito (Buffalo (and eventually France) is what you get when liberalism runs its course.)
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To: strider44
Little in that study rings true to me. But that could be because I'm not a Texas coed.
21 posted on 09/22/2009 5:26:15 AM PDT by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
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To: strider44

Given the stereotype that women are never in the mood....

Guess they never met my girlfriend.....

‘Afternoon Delight’ isn’t just a song from the seventies...


22 posted on 09/22/2009 5:27:25 AM PDT by Le Chien Rouge
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To: Omedalus

“Oh! Well, that explains the sampling errors, lack of experimental controls, failure to state an initial hypothesis, neglect to separate or normalize for interdependent variables, poor statistical analysis of the results, and an inability to state how their conclusion logically derives from the data. Duh, girls can’t do science!”

You are so behind the times. Don’t you know that the best science is found in Time and Newsweek Magazines?


23 posted on 09/22/2009 5:29:27 AM PDT by Hacklehead (Liberalism is the art of taking what works, breaking it, and then blaming conservatives.)
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To: utahagen
Sincere question: what the devil do having a “better complexion” and having sex have to do with each other?

The question isn't whether or not they have anything to do with one another. The question is whether or not the young ladies believe they have something to do with one another.

Single Freeper ladies, listen up! Sex - especially with thirty-year-old Jewish computer programmers - has a huge number of health benefits for women!

When you think about it, can you really afford not to?
24 posted on 09/22/2009 5:33:44 AM PDT by Omedalus
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To: strider44

I dunno, my wife must have an awful lot of migraines.....


25 posted on 09/22/2009 5:39:16 AM PDT by Catholic Canadian ( I love Stephen Harper!)
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To: strider44
Ha! This new generation is loveless, I am still attracted to my husband as much now as when we first meet, he's willingness to meet me half way and being my best friend still gets this heart pumping. Women, real women would probably not want this secret out, but we want the intimacy with one partner who loves us. Thats what it's all abou’t. It has nothing to do with looks or weight or anything else, oops i let the cat out of the bag ladies. :-)
(Any woman , or young ladies say’s different they are lying to themself.)
26 posted on 09/22/2009 5:40:53 AM PDT by housemouse 1
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To: Le Chien Rouge

Yeah no kidding. Maybe the girls in the sample were insufficiently self-aware enough to put down something as simple and basic as, “Because I get horny, and sex with an attractive guy is usually more satisfying than something that takes batteries.”

Of course, if girls were to admit they get lusty, they’d be giving up the game. But, I mean, come on, who are they kidding?


27 posted on 09/22/2009 5:43:47 AM PDT by Omedalus
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To: Omedalus

I like that one about “moving objects with your mind” - never thought of it that way :). Personally, I think this is a lot of bunk. Women have sex for the same reasons as men - it feels good.


28 posted on 09/22/2009 5:44:19 AM PDT by madmominct ("Liberalism is a slow road to despotism." -- The Great One, Mark Levin)
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To: strider44

bm


29 posted on 09/22/2009 5:45:08 AM PDT by Vision ("Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God?" John 11:40)
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To: strider44
Looking at the demographic they asked I'm surprised the primary reason wasn’t $100.
30 posted on 09/22/2009 5:48:17 AM PDT by GonzoGOP (There are millions of paranoid people in the world, and they are all out to get me.)
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To: RabidBartender

It’s been said, “Women need a reason - men need a place.”


31 posted on 09/22/2009 5:48:59 AM PDT by Former MSM Viewer
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To: KarlInOhio

There’s a principle in cognitive psychology called “Morgan’s Canon”. It’s basically Occam’s Razor as applied to psych. One of the things it states is that, in reasonably similar test subjects, if you observe them exhibiting the same behavior it’s usually because they’re performing the same cognitive tasks. In other words, an undergrad goes to the dorm cafeteria for the same reason a rat goes to a food trough: they’re both hungry.

Morgan’s Canon has an old joke associated with it: “Morgan’s Canon is usually pointed backwards.” Basically, it means that you learn more about the rat by interviewing the undergrad, than you learn about the undergrad by studying the rat.


32 posted on 09/22/2009 5:49:49 AM PDT by Omedalus
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To: strider44; SortaBichy
She feels sorry for the fellow.

My old boss had a term for that...."Mercy F*ck"

33 posted on 09/22/2009 5:50:58 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (It's not an Obama "Administration"....it's a "Regime")
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To: Scotswife
I kept going down that list looking for something like...”because I love my husband and he’s smokin’ hot!” But never found it!

No kiddin'! Man, when mine was still here on earth (God rest his soul) I was always all over him like a bad habit. I was one lucky broad! : )

34 posted on 09/22/2009 5:53:55 AM PDT by ozark hilljilly (Ignore us at your peril.)
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To: hocndoc

I knew it couldn’t have been married, adult women giving the answers. Some of their answers would have been:

1. Tired of him begging.
2. It’s the second Saturday after the full moon in the fourth month since the last time and he’s starting to get grumpy.
3. There’s a special occasion so it’s expected.
4. She wants something.


35 posted on 09/22/2009 5:58:09 AM PDT by NerdDad (Aug 7, 1981, I married my soul mate, CDBEAR. 28 years and I'm still teenager-crazy in love with her.)
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To: strider44
Well, in a nutshell...

Men have sex because they want/need the physical contact.

Women have sex because they want/need emotional support.

36 posted on 09/22/2009 6:00:29 AM PDT by purpleporter
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To: killermosquito

Didn’t #5 & #9 cover that?


37 posted on 09/22/2009 6:08:21 AM PDT by SampleMan (Socialism enslaves you & kills your soul.)
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To: yazoo
It probably is, but they can't remember.
38 posted on 09/22/2009 6:12:39 AM PDT by tsomer
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To: strider44

How about having an orgasm? That’s a novel assumption..


39 posted on 09/22/2009 6:29:43 AM PDT by goseminoles
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To: utahagen

I think that was thought up by teenage boys.


40 posted on 09/22/2009 6:35:17 AM PDT by dangerdoc
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To: strider44
College kids? Who was the genius that though college kids would be a good representation of women at large?

I would have flunked any statistical research paper if I'd chosen a sample population this badly.

41 posted on 09/22/2009 6:43:45 AM PDT by DesertSapper (God, Family, Country . . . . . . . . . . and dead terrorists!!!)
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To: strider44
Remember female freepers, this book was written by women not men.

Written by researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss,

I've always thought of David as a man's name....

42 posted on 09/22/2009 6:46:19 AM PDT by Vor Lady ("Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." JFK)
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To: utahagen
Sincere question: what the devil do having a “better complexion” and having sex have to do with each other?

Increased blood flow to the skin gives a youthful appearance, works for me.

43 posted on 09/22/2009 6:49:38 AM PDT by Vor Lady ("Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." JFK)
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To: DesertSapper

Yeah the use of college age is interesting. Perhaps the general theory was women in the age bracket have more sex than any other age bracket. Could be true I guess. Seemed that way when i was in college. So the theory would be to ask the women who are having the most frequent sex what their main motivations were.


44 posted on 09/22/2009 6:52:24 AM PDT by strider44
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To: Vor Lady

Yeah...sorry about that. Unless dave is a woman. Hell one of my wife’s best female friend’s name is Charles...I was also looking at the author of the Fox story (a woman).


45 posted on 09/22/2009 6:53:50 AM PDT by strider44
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To: sauropod

mark


46 posted on 09/22/2009 6:55:27 AM PDT by sauropod (People who do things are people that get things done.)
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To: Scotswife

Again...I think the study was intended to ask a group of women who are having the most sex. Though there may be some exceptions, the women living in as you say a “godless, hedonistic, leftist pit of waste” are more than likely having more sex than your typical married woman.


47 posted on 09/22/2009 6:56:36 AM PDT by strider44
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To: goseminoles

“How about having an orgasm? That’s a novel assumption..”

Yeah one would hope. However, and maybe some female freepers can back me up, isn’t the percentage of women that can reach orgasm through intercourse much lower than the percentage that can reach it through “self-induced” means?

I know I’ve read it before. Many women seem to reach orgasm easier through oral sex also. So...The quesstion is valid overall. If a woman knows she can’t or usually doesn’t reach orgasm through intercousre with a man, what motivates her to have sex?

Us married folk in monogamous relationships would like to think the reasons are good - to please their partners because they’re in love, promote intimacy, etc. However, some of the reasons may be less than good - view it as a chore or marital duty that has to be done to keep the peace, want something in return (like their husband to clean up around the house a little more) etc...

So which is it? I would like to think that most freeper gals fall into the first category. I also think, and I have no scientific study to back it up, that some women just don’t like sex very much. They still want a husband and a marriage and kids etc, they just don’t get a ton of enjoyment out of sex. Some women reqally do enjoy sex of course. But it’s undeniable that the percentage of women who don’t is vastly higher than the percentage of men who don’t enjoy sex that much.

So...freeper dudes out there that are unmarried - my only advice as a happily married man is find one of the women who actually enjoys sex. If you don’t and get married anyway, just be prepared to spend many a night with rosy palm and her five sisters.


48 posted on 09/22/2009 7:08:30 AM PDT by strider44
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To: strider44

Through my experience, there are women who actually enjoy sex. Probably more than want to admit it. There is a social stigma that women who say they enjoy sex are “loose”. And there are more than ways to skin a cat so to speak in a relationship. One doesn’t have to get too creative for both people to be happy. Not all men have the motto “he who comes first wins”, if you catch my drift.


49 posted on 09/22/2009 7:24:30 AM PDT by goseminoles
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To: purpleporter

Men have sex IN ORDER TO feel emotionally closer to their spouse.

Women has sex WHEN they feel emotionally closer to their spouse.


50 posted on 09/22/2009 8:28:25 AM PDT by Ro_Thunder ("Other than ending SLAVERY, FASCISM, NAZISM and COMMUNISM, war has never solved anything")
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