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Klingons for Christ
Topless Robot ^ | Oct 02, 2009

Posted on 10/05/2009 9:12:26 PM PDT by Alex Murphy

I very much apologize for forgetting who sent this to me, but I have a new favorite website of all time: Klingons for Christ Jesus. Yes, men and women who love Klingons, those lovably chicken-torso-skulled warrior aliens from Star Trek who are also devout followers of Jesus.

You might be wondering how a Klingon, who lives for battle, can reconcile himself with noted pacifist Jesus. Rest assured they are ready to answer your query:

Is the image of Christ as the humble and suffering servant compatible with Klingon attitudes? More to the point, how would a Klingon warrior react to the fragile, demure, and subjugated figure of Christ hanging upon a cross? Ah! Of course a Klingon would reject such a figure, presented as it has been by countless Renaissance artists and Sunday School teachers over the years.

But that is not the true picture of Christ. Christ was a robust and strong man, capable of fashioning a whip out of cords and using it to drive the corrupt moneychangers out of the temple area, all the while overturning heavy tables. He went fishing at a time when fishing was hard labor indeed. But this pales in comparison to his endurance and courage at the end of his life.

After enduring the taunts of his captors, their beating him with fists, being trundled roughly from one judge to another, Christ is beaten close to death with a Roman flagellum, a whip with each leather lash weighted with a heavy piece of metal, or sometimes bone, that would rip into flesh, bruise the muscle, and then tear the flesh as it was pulled away. After stretching him on a pole so that his skin was taut, the flagellum was used by a trained Roman guard to flay his skin from his back. People often died from this abuse, but Christ survived.
...
Jesus was then pinned to this rough wooden cross, which undoubtedly opened his back wounds again. Through each wrist, a large iron spike was hammered. Medical experts conjecture that this was done mostly to cause unendurable pain, for the nail would surely pierce the radial nerve, causing a burning pain throughout the arm and shoulder and chest. The Roman guards, well-trained and adept at causing maximum suffering, would put another spike through the front of both feet.
...
To the Klingon, this illustrates a feature of Christ's personality that is often neglected. The Klingon Rite of Ascension requires that the initiate walk between two rows of warriors armed with pain sticks. This is sometimes called The Way of Blood. It is a test of a warrior's commitment and courage. Christ satisfied this requirement and much, much more. And this act was no punishment for a criminal, as the Romans intended, nor was it a rite that had only a symbolic meaning.

Christ did not run from this pain; he welcomed it. His sacrifice was an act of will. In this crucifixion, Christ defeated his enemies. And this is what makes him a suitable savior for the Klingon as well as the human and all races.

Yes, Jesus wasn't crucified as much as he just was undergoing the Klingon Rite of Ascension, which, it must be pointed out, he passed with flying ****ing colors -- and on the third day, he came back to enact a violent revenge, tearing the Romans limb from limb and bathing in their blood (I think I missed that day in Sunday school).

Now, these guys do have a lot of Bible verses backing up their warrior ways, and to their credit, they are from the New Testament (Old Testament would have been too easy). Admittedly, it's mostly Paul talking about fighting minions of Satan, not Romulans, but maybe it got lost in the translation somwhere. Overall, my favorite line from the site is this:

Indeed, Klingons accept the teachings of Christ as part of a warrior tradition. Christ brings not peace, but a sword. And this batlh'etlh is a sword of honor indeed!
Hee hee hee! If you go over there, don't give these knuckleknobs a hard time; just look around. I mean, since both of their affiliations -- Christians and Klingons -- certainly these these guys are insane, they've got a hard enough time of it as it.


TOPICS: Humor
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Christ did not run from this pain; he welcomed it. His sacrifice was an act of will. In this crucifixion, Christ defeated his enemies. And this is what makes him a suitable savior for the Klingon as well as the human and all races.

1 posted on 10/05/2009 9:12:27 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: Alex Murphy

If that isn’t sacrilege, then it just doesn’t exist.

There ARE no Klingons. They are a science fiction TV show invention.

People, GET A LIFE!


2 posted on 10/05/2009 9:16:02 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Communism comes to America: 1/20/2009. Keep your powder dry, folks. Sic semper tyrannis)
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To: Alex Murphy

lolz


3 posted on 10/05/2009 9:19:19 PM PDT by mnehring
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To: Alex Murphy

This is a solid evangelism site.

Clever!

We need more Christian apologetics utilizing the Comic frame.


4 posted on 10/05/2009 9:20:47 PM PDT by lonestar67 ("I love my country a lot more than I love politics," President George W. Bush)
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To: freedumb2003

Thank you for your post- the thread is twiddle twaddle

is this another one of those sites that Janet Napolitano and

Homeland Security put up on the web???


5 posted on 10/05/2009 9:25:04 PM PDT by MissDairyGoodnessVT (Chocolate is good for the brain)
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To: Gamecock; Frumanchu; Dr. Eckleburg; HarleyD; Lee N. Field

The mods have moved my thread out of the Religion Forum over to General / Chat. Curses!


6 posted on 10/05/2009 9:25:06 PM PDT by Alex Murphy (...We never faced anything like this...we only fought humans.)
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To: freedumb2003
“There ARE no Klingons. They are a science fiction TV show invention.”

Sure they do. Some people just aren’t brave enough to see the truth.

7 posted on 10/05/2009 9:28:12 PM PDT by HereInTheHeartland (Just say no to Soylent Green health care)
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To: Alex Murphy

Yet all Klingon battle-cruisers are dedicated to Durgath.


8 posted on 10/05/2009 9:31:59 PM PDT by Ronin (Nemo me impune lacesset)
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To: Alex Murphy

Hmm... you probably should have made it a Klingon caucus thread.


9 posted on 10/05/2009 9:41:40 PM PDT by delacoert (Good health to your belly button.)
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To: Alex Murphy

Lol. Can’t win ‘em all.


10 posted on 10/05/2009 9:46:02 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: Alex Murphy
The Klingon's killed their Gods.
11 posted on 10/05/2009 10:02:54 PM PDT by BigCinBigD (Remember. There's no "U" in Government.)
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To: BigCinBigD

Well, so did we.... but ours rose again


12 posted on 10/05/2009 10:17:30 PM PDT by nysuperdoodle
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To: Alex Murphy
The mods have moved my thread out of the Religion Forum over to General / Chat. Curses!

NOW you're talking!

Really -- Get a life! (video)

13 posted on 10/05/2009 10:47:28 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Communism comes to America: 1/20/2009. Keep your powder dry, folks. Sic semper tyrannis)
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To: nysuperdoodle
I don't think theirs we so lucky.
14 posted on 10/05/2009 11:08:56 PM PDT by BigCinBigD (Remember. There's no "U" in Government.)
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To: Alex Murphy; Gamecock; Frumanchu; Dr. Eckleburg; Lee N. Field

yIchId tlhInganpu’ tu’lu’be’ ‘e’ luSov SenwI’ rIlwI’ je


15 posted on 10/05/2009 11:28:45 PM PDT by HarleyD (Trans: C'mon, everyone knows Klingons don't really exist)
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To: Alex Murphy; KevinDavis
Nice post. Cool to see someone reaching out to the Sci-Fi crowd with evangelism and being clever enough really work out the the lingo for the TOS and other spin off’s true believers.

Hey Kevin pinged you. Thought this might interest you. Something new in the Sci-Fi universe.

16 posted on 10/05/2009 11:49:22 PM PDT by Captain Beyond (The Hammer of the gods! (Just a cool line from a Led Zep song))
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To: Alex Murphy

I think Klingons have been ignored by the church for far to long.


17 posted on 10/06/2009 1:16:44 AM PDT by Gamecock ("...Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles" and both to Americans.)
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To: nysuperdoodle

Nice one! True dat! Pardon my street lingo!


18 posted on 10/06/2009 2:01:57 AM PDT by italyconservative (So ready for 2010! Takin' it to the streets!)
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To: Alex Murphy

Why hast thou Lord abandoned the Romuleans ?

The Moe Howard haircuts maybe?


19 posted on 10/06/2009 2:08:18 AM PDT by tlb
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To: Alex Murphy
You should hear the Sermon on the Mount, in the original Klingon.

Today is a good day to day [to self].

Humor aside, there is room for all at the foot of the cross.

20 posted on 10/06/2009 7:57:53 AM PDT by nonsporting
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To: nonsporting
Correction: "Today is a good day to die [to self]"
21 posted on 10/06/2009 7:58:45 AM PDT by nonsporting
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To: HarleyD

rot yittmey ghom Hoch


22 posted on 10/06/2009 8:45:34 AM PDT by Godzilla (3-7-77)
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To: Alex Murphy

A clever pop restatement of the blue collar, hard working Lord of Hosts, who protects children, heals the sick, brings a lash into a den of thieves and a sword at the end of time.

Not the last restatement, nor the first
http://www.dreamofrood.co.uk/
but very startling and effective.

I like it.

Jesus was not an anemic, metro pushover.


23 posted on 10/06/2009 9:01:43 AM PDT by Psalm 144
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To: Psalm 144
Jesus was not an anemic, metro pushover.


24 posted on 10/06/2009 9:03:30 AM PDT by Alex Murphy (...We never faced anything like this...we only fought humans.)
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To: freedumb2003

Somewhere in the universe, a baby Klingon dies a little inside when you doubt.


25 posted on 10/06/2009 9:05:15 AM PDT by egannacht (Vote YES for statism: Why burden yourself with civic duty when Idol and Oprah are on?)
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To: Alex Murphy; All; Quix
Sincere condolences to all you 2 millimeter-wide Christians who are offended by this.

It's awesome. There's no other word.

If you don't think allegory and symbolism can be used to bring people closer to God, then you better throw your Bible away at the same time you condemn these SciFi evangelists.


Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

26 posted on 10/06/2009 9:15:42 AM PDT by The Comedian (Evil can only succeed if good men don't point at it and laugh.)
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To: Alex Murphy; Big Giant Head

This appeals to my Klingon side. :D


27 posted on 10/06/2009 10:23:42 AM PDT by Marie Antoinette (Proud Clinton-hater since 1998.)
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To: The Comedian

INDEED.


28 posted on 10/06/2009 12:06:41 PM PDT by Quix (POL Ldrs quotes fm1900 2 presnt: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2130557/posts?page=81#81)
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To: HarleyD

lolol.

http://kisa.ca/klingon-phrases.html


29 posted on 10/06/2009 4:11:19 PM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: Alex Murphy

You know, it strikes me that the Klingons would have made good Crusaders.


30 posted on 10/06/2009 4:12:18 PM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Alex Murphy
Free Image Hosting

Oh Really?
31 posted on 10/06/2009 5:25:15 PM PDT by Dr.Zoidberg (Warning: Sarcasm/humor is always engaged. Failure to recognize this may lead to misunderstandings.)
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