Posted on 10/28/2009 11:33:03 PM PDT by GOP_Raider
My high school English teacher, Mr. Wood, used to do something to essays that I'd write to attempt to pass his class. Anytime I would use a cliche or something that he thought was trite, he'd deduct a certain percentage from my final grade on that particular paper. If it was doing an assignment on an author that I didn't care too much for, like that uncle fornicating commie George Bernard Shaw, I was particularly obnoxious in my rhetoric and that would just enrage him even further. Looking back on it, Mr. Wood always seemed like he was either the toughest on me because he saw some kind of buried potential or he just didn't like the way I wrote.
The thing is though, Mr. Wood's irritation at my cranky, adolescent writing style has sort of carried over into my adulthood and with the things I see and hear in the great game of college football. Commentators and play by play announcers are among the guiltiest parties. Listen to how many times an analyst will say a player's first and last name in a short amount of time. Tim Tebow is hands down the best player in the country. When you look at what Tim Tebow has done thus far...When you see Tim Tebow walking down the street...when you see Tim Tebow lining up at quarterback and then again at linebacker in the Gators 1-2-8 defense..., as though the analyst gets some sort of kickback every time he mentions his first and last name. I think it's one thing if a coach does it, because it's probably not a good idea to give your opponents any kind of extra motivation (or end up getting reprimanded by the SEC) or to give the press something else to do besides write the next Obama puff piece. But when an industry that exists solely to communicate to others does things like this, it makes mute buttons very handy.
And so, it is in this the spirit of mediocre and lazy language that I devote this week's thread to the trite and mundane in our current college football language. Let's get to the matchups before Mr. Wood finds out I wrote this and gives me a D on this, too.
North Carolina vs. Virginia Tech (Tonight, 7:30 pm) There's good news and bad news for Va Tech. The bad news is that their best win this year might be against a Miami team that is good but not quite "Miami" just yet. The good news is that Tyrod Taylor is playing worthy of many cliches one might associate with good play on the football field---like "he's really playing within himself", "with reckless abandon", and because I didn't know how to end this sentence "he makes you miss". The Tar Heels had started out the year with a lot of promise and now are looking up at Duke in the---wait, Duke is at 2-1 in the ACC Coastal? That can't be right, you guys are playing a joke on me aren't you? Here, let me take a look at that. Hmmmm, guess you all were right. Carry on.
Indiana vs. Iowa (High Noon) Earlier in the year, we saw the Iowa opener against Northern Iowa and thought, "wow, they have a lethargic offense, they'll be lucky to win five games this year". But as I've said at various points throughout the season, sometimes a team doesn't really need to score 30 or 40 points a game (or even 20 a game as has been the case with the Hawkeyes). The '86 national champion Penn State squad strikes me as a similar team to this year's Iowa team, but here in the present day, I do think the Hawkeyes should take this one and remain unbeaten, but for everyone's sake, don't expect it to be aesthetically pleasing. Just expect the Hawkeyes to get it done one more time.
Cincinnati vs. Syracuse (High Noon) The Orange or Orangemen or whatever the 'Cuse prefers to be called now round out a 6 game home stand against the nationally ranked and Big East leading Bearcats. Hey, you all remember former Duke point guard Greg Paulus's excellent adventure into the good ol' football game, right? Well, here's the current stats for Paulus: in 7 games so far, Paulus has thrown for 1,292 yards, 9 TDs, 10 INTs, and has a passer rating of 128.1 (yes, that's significantly better than Jamarcus Russell's current passer rating, I don't want to hear it). So naturally, the ideal team to play when you're looking to get back to .500 is a team that loses their first string QB, Tony Pike, replaces him with backup Zach Collaros and doesn't miss a beat.
New Mexico State vs. Ohio State (High Noon) For reasons that are probably more than apparent to you right now, the state-run sports media has this hard-on for this growing gap between "have" and "have not". The Buckeyes are widely considered to be a "have". Sure, they may not have a consistently powerful offense this year, but there's still nearly 100,000 people at the Horseshoe every Saturday, they've got a great band, and there's that gigantic flag pole inside Ohio Stadium---always thought that was a nice touch. The Aggies, on the other hand, had to slash a cool seven figures from their athletic budget. In response to this, the NMSU Athletic Department decided to call on NMSU boosters to provide snacks and drinks to their hungry football players. Aggie head coach DeWayne Walker did want to reassure all of us that "I don't want anybody to read into it that we're the poorest program in the country". Strange, that's kind of what I got out of that story.
(for Biggirl and Man50D) Rutgers vs. UConn (High Noon) Husky head coach Randy Edsall had a very poignant remark after UConn's loss last week at West Virginia. After Cody Endres found Marcus Easley for an 88 yard TD pass to take the lead, the Mountaineers would regain the lead for good and get the win thanks to a Noel Devine TD run. Edsall mentioned the way the game ended and followed up with the comment that "I'm sure that Jazz (Jasper Howard) would have been proud of their effort". With that said, the Huskies opponent this week has bowl eligibility on their minds as they enter beautiful Rentschler Field. The Scarlet Knights have an impressive stat in perhaps the only statistic that truly matters outside of the final score. In their last 14 games, Rutgers is a ridiculous +22 in turnover margin. So don't turn the ball over against the Scarlet Knights, okay?
(for Bat_Chemist) North Carolina State vs. Florida State (High Noon) Last week, the Noles came back to beat North Carolina thanks to a remarkable performance by QB Christian Ponder. Check out this stat line from last Thursday by Ponder: 33 for 40, 395 yards and 3 TDs. So that has to beg the question: how good is Ponder? Will somebody like me be the first to say something like "you know this Ponder kid is kind of an ACC version of Jake Locker?" Wait, I think I just did. D'oh! As for the Wolfpack, I have two comments to make here: 1) okay, losing to Duke in basketball, that's understandable. Annoying, yes, but understandable. But in football? and 2) ten years ago, wouldn't you have had to be on PCP in order to be able to say things like "ten years from now, FSU and NC State will have the same record in football"?
(for kevkrom) Purdue vs. Wisconsin (High Noon) Maybe it's still a daunting endeavor for the Boilers to make it to bowl eligibility this year. Maybe it's also a team that we may want to say "watch out for these guys once 2011 and 2012 come around". Either way, Purdue goes into Madison against a Badger team that really needed a bye week. The Badgers last two opponents made QB Scott Tolzein look like Todd Marinovich, ca. 1991 AFC Wild Card round (yes, I'm still mad about that). Those opponents were the top two teams in the conference, so perhaps it's not entirely fair to use those two games as proper barometers. But the last two Purdue wins would have to make a Boilermaker smile and have a little Hope. (Let me guess, somebody in West Lafayette has already done that 0Bama propaganda poster with Coach Hope?)
(for Palmetto) Coastal Carolina vs. Clemson (1:30 pm) See, Clemson, we knew you had it in ya! Kyle Parker played well, you won a game that not a lot of us out here in the vast abyss that is Flyover Country thought you'd win. C.J. Spiller even garnered National Offensive Player of the Week honors for racking up 310 all purpose yards. As it turns out, the Tigers are one of at least 6 or 7 teams in the ACC that control their own destiny and this week, they'll get Coastal Carolina. What is this Coastal Carolina University I speak of? Well, CCU or "Coastal" comes to us from Conway, South Carolina. It's close enough to Myrtle Beach that you might want to go there sometime, but it's far enough away for it not to be a tourist trap (I would assume). Coastal is also the home of the Scholar's Academy, a high school where other students won't beat the crap out of you and run your underwear up the flagpole. I'm telling you, girls can be vicious!
San Jose State vs. Boise State (3:00 pm) Now there's the Boise State kind of performance that the Broncos could have used over the past two weeks. Even though BSU won big away from home last week against Hawaii, was it a case of too little too late? The Broncos no longer control their own destiny in the BCS standings (I'll let you in on who does in a moment), but that doesn't mean that there aren't attainable goals for this year's BSU squad. This Saturday, the Spartans come into Bronco Stadium, and if this game were in San Jose, America could see a very competitive game. But the last time the Spartans got a victory against BSU was on the 12th of never. Thus, I do think we have seen the last of the sleepwalking performances by the Broncos this year.
Georgia vs. Florida (3:30 pm) This weekend is the annual rendition of the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, which is apparently not uttered as much because some people are worried about college students drinking too much. Come on, these are college students, it's not like they're real adults or anything. Here in all this excitement, they're playing a football game, so one has to wonder: What UGA team will show up this weekend against the Gators, particularly on defense? Will it be the team that played a very low scoring slugfest against LSU or the team that got into a WAC kind of game against South Carolina and Arkansas? The #1 team in all the land may have the kind of team that can beat the Dawgs, but do some of you think along the same lines that I do that at some point this season the Gators could use a healthy (or maybe a healthier) Brandon Spikes?
Miami vs. Wake Forest (3:30 pm) Last week, the Demon Deacons were the recipient of another statistical footnote in the history of the game. The Navy Midshipemen went the entire game without a pass---then again I think Meghan McCain hasn't had a pass in a while either, so everything is relative I guess. Speaking of stats, I thought this was a rather amazing one: since 1985, the Hurricanes are a nearly flawless 136-2 when scoring at least 34 points. One of those two was last week against Clemson. Then there was this in Miami's overtime possession. Miami makes a 22 yard field goal in their possession to take the lead, 37-34. One problem: Clemson was called for offsides, but the Canes declined the penalty. If you're Randy Shannon, would you have taken the 3 points off the board, taken the penalty, putting the ball on the 1 yard line and then have 3 shots (possibly 4) at the endzone, knowing that the Tigers have to score a touchdown to send it into another OT?
(for our FR TTU Contingent) Kansas vs. Texas Tech (3:30 pm) According to the TTU official athletic website, the crowd at Jones AT&T Stadium started chanting "No More Potts!" after Taylor's third turnover last week against Texas A&M. Now, there's always that mindset out there that it's just a despicable act to have people booing kids in their early 20s, but you have to understand this is football in the great State of Texas. It's not like it's me out who would probably start sobbing in the fetal position if you all were to chant "No More GOP_Raider!" Quit coddling people, okay? Jeez. Despite whatever the hell that was last week against the Aggies, the Jayhawks come into Lubbock perhaps lacking a little confidence themselves in a loss at home to Oklahoma. Last week's loss now moves KU to a grand total of 4-18 in cash and prizes against the Big XII South division. If nothing else, both schools should combine for a good 100 points.
UNLV vs. TCU (4:00 pm) In the days when boxing was a somewhat respected sport, there was always that one fighter that the Bert Sugar's of the world would say was "pound for pound the best boxer in the world". So does it stand to reason that someone might say something like "pound for pound, the Horned Frogs are the best team in the country?" That may be a little optimistic--I think the Frogs would have a tough time with Florida and might not do terribly well against Alabama--but this is not a team I would want to take lightly. I've mentioned the more star-studded names on the TCU roster. Andy Dalton, Jeremy Kerley, Jerry Hughes, Rafael Priest, Nick Sanders, I've all introduced them to you by now. But say you're a fan of a BCS school with eyes set on a BCS game themselves. Would you want to see your school face these guys?
Penn State vs. Northwestern (4:30 pm) You have to love the Big 10 Network. If you don't have the BTN, you missed out on the greatest comeback in NU football history last week against Indiana. Down 28-3 in the 2nd quarter, the Wildcats stormed back to within two points after a Mike Kafka pass to Andrew Brewer from 51 yards out. Then Stefan Demos capped off the comeback and the win with a 19 yard field goal with less than a minute remaining. For Halloween, the Nittany Lions come into Evanston after going into Ann Arbor and making the Wolverines look inexplicably silly in the win last week. The best part of this game might be to see if former Northwestern RB Darnell Autry gets to show himself to the world in purple body paint.
Georgia Tech vs. Vanderbilt (7:30 pm) Here are two schools that would have soundly rejected the application of a 17 or 18 year old GOP_Raider. As it turns out, the Yellow Jackets currently hold sole possession of first place in the ACC Coastal Division. If you called this to start out the year, give yourself a high five! (Now you're starting to see why I would have had no shot in hell of getting into either Tech or Vandy, aren't you?). As you know by now, Tech runs the option and one of the neatest things about that offense is how long you're able to hold onto the ball. Last week at Virginia, the Ramblin' Wreck held the ball for 42:43, which is longer than some of my first dates have lasted. This week they'll get the Commodores, who I swear is being coached by Martin Landau. Look at Bobby Johnson's bio page and tell me that's not Martin Landau.
(for sean327) New Mexico vs. San Diego State (7:30 pm) Indeed the nicest spin I can put on this particular game is that this will be an epic game in basketball this year. The good thing here is that Lobo head coach Mike Locksley is back from his ten day suspension and will resume his coaching duties. I guess that's a good thing. Somehow the Aztecs were able to beat a somewhat decent Colorado State team to improve their record to 3-4. After the game, SDSU's first year head coach Brady Hoke said "it was good to win. Winning's fun. That's why you play." See that, Mr. Wood, knock his paper down a grade why don't ya!
South Carolina vs. Tennessee (7:45 pm) In certain respects, it's a real shame that too much of the focus on the Vols this season has been on the coaching staff and specifically head coach Lane Kiffin. If DB Eric Berry were playing for Florida or Texas or USC, we'd be hearing a lot more about him, and I do think Montario Hardesty might be UT's best offensive player. However, this might pale in comparison to the Greek tragedy that is South Carolina football. The Gamecocks have but one championship of any kind to their credit (an ACC Title in 1969. To be fair here, Carolina did spend 21 seasons as an independent, which seemed to be the thing to do back then). Their best season was back in 1984 where they were 9-0 going into a late November showdown against Navy...and then this happened. So unless you're a Clemson Tiger, find the nearest Gamecock and give him a beer or a big hug.
Texas vs. Oklahoma State (8:00 pm) All of the sudden, that loss earlier in the year to Houston doesn't seem quite as devastating. The Cowboys are still scoring a ton of points (40.8 going into this week), even without Dez Bryant, and even though the wins aren't as impressive as a lot of the Poke faithful would like, they are still spotless in conference play. And for reasons we're not quite sure of, a lot of us thought that Mizzou would make a game of things against the Longhorns and they...well, didn't. But this may be the final epic conference battle for UT before we see them in the Big XII Title Game, if that does indeed happen. If any of you are rooting for a sheer chaotic mess in the BCS standings once again this season, watch what will happen if the Cowboys pull this one off.
Tulane vs. LSU (8:00 pm) You may not know this, but the Tigers and the Green Wave used to be rivals. Granted, it's still somewhat heated in baseball, but they're in two completely different worlds when it comes to college football. LSU are coming off an incredible offensive performance--by recent LSU standards anyway--last week against Auburn, as QB Jordan Jefferson threw for a very respectable 242 yards. While I'm still annoyed at Tulane for having Ellen Degeneres be their most recent commencement speaker, many Tulane folk have a seething hatred toward the Bayou Bengals. Coincidentally, so do the Tigers next opponent (that one is going to be awesome on several levels!).
...and now, our Game of the Week
Oregon vs. USC (8:00 pm) A certain number of you probably don't want to see the Trojans sneak their way into the national title game, which means that same number of you are going to get out your duck calls and hope things go UO's way this week. Many might think "oh, they lose a player like LeGarrette Blount and their run game will suffer big time". Enter LaMichael James, who has ran for an average of 105 yards per game since week one. But did the Ducks' cross-state rival expose some flaws in SC's defense last week as the Beavs rallied late in the Coliseum to make it a non-blowout score? With as tough as it may have been to go into South Bend and get a win a few weeks ago, this one promises to be at least equally so for Matt Barkley and the other Men of Troy.
Enjoy your games this weekend, and be sure to read Post #1.
I’m liking the OSU Cowboys to beat Texas!
LOL! OK.
Could you add Pitt to your previews? Now that they’re off to their best start since 1982.
(And yes, it’s a trick question this week. They’re not playing till Nov 7.)
Thanks.
Go Frogs. Go Hogs.
Those are some mighty pasty legs for Texans. Or aren't Texas Christians allowed to sunbathe? ;-)
Spurrier needs to do something about his "3-N-Out" offense if the Gamecocks are going to win another game this year.
The CRIMSON TIDE of ALABAMA is resting this week...we need it! :-) It’s been a hard fought few weeks.
But, ROLL TIDE ROLL!!! And God bless America!!!
Well, we much prefer the terms “delicate” or “finespun” to “pasty” for these legs. TCU girls are refined, like their football team and fandom. :)
splain something to me. How does a team that won 41-14 fall from #5 to #8 in the BcS standings? Every year the screams for a playoff keep getting louder and louder.
Great thread as always - wow, Rutgers has a cool mascot! I’m still hoping QB #3 can pull out a win for us this weekend - sorry about Potts but hey, it isn’t an affirmative action position - you play well or move to the end of the line.
Sure. The Big East race is going to probably come down to Pitt and Cincinnati so I’ll be featuring both schools for the remainder of the season.
Not sure what is going to happen to my Cowboys. They usually struggle against Texas. But hopefully they can put that demon to bed this year.
I really can’t believe what the NCAA did to Dez. Well I can, the only adjectives that accurately describe the NCAA are not Free Republic-safe. It sure would be nice of them to put the list out there of teams they are going to handle with kid gloves and the ones they will put the hammer down on. They are probably just mad about having to pay an OSU baseball player 750K last year.
Also, Mike Leach’s “fat little girlfriends” comment was awesome. I’m glad he isn’t backing off it.
Just about every woman I've ever dated would agree with you on that.
You will notice that in one of the mascot pics this week I take a somewhat subtle swipe at Mr. Wood's alma mater. One might have to do a once-over to figure it out, but if you look at the New Mexico State/Ohio State matchup, you'll probably see it.
The Pope cut the Gators some slack two weeks ago, but after last week..no more...I predict UF wins about 40-3....
Iowa also should win big, just to confound the prognosticators..
I missed that Mr. B - what did Coach Leach say? And has there been any further decision on Dez? I figured he would be reinstated in time to play Tech - just what we need this year, for OSU to have MORE firepower! lol (and for the record I agree with you about slapping him and not others is wrong)
Oh man, I hadn't heard about this. Either of you have the full quote?
Dez is suspended until September 2010. So he won’t be playing against Tech or against any college competition ever again.
Mike Leach said, “As coaches, we failed to make our coaching points more compelling than their fat little girlfriends, for one thing, their fat little girlfriends are telling them what they want to hear, which is ‘how great you are’ and ‘how easy this is going to be.’”
We’ll see if this week Florida can finally get their red-zone offense figured out, against a pretty bad Georgia defense.
Oh man - classic Leach. He was pretty rough on the team after Saturdays slaughter - and deservedly so. Guys who had been making incredible catches dropped everything and A&M did EVERYTHING right - they (A&M) played like a team of old, not the team we have seen for the past 4 years or so. Damn I miss Coach Fran ... ;^)
I had not heard he was suspended for the year. I’m really sorry - he does something like that and Blount takes a pot shot at another player and he can come back.
After hearing that press conference, you can tell that Leach spent some time with Coach Knight.
Oregon is going to pound SC this week. Duck honk is going to be unbearable until the Beavers beat them down in the Civil War.
I think for a while there Tech definitely had the two most outspoken coaches in the country. I don’t know if Leach needed any pointers on this front.
Have I ever told you about how my school once upon a time had the absolute coolest mascot of any sports team anywhere, ever?
His name was Little Red. Every year, the best qualified young man was chosen from the Native American (American Indian back in those days) student body to represent Our University on the sidelines of all home and away games as Little Red.
Everyone loved him. Well, almost everyone. Back in 1970 or so, a certain group of people filed suit, found a sympathetic Federal Judge, and succeeded in putting Little Red out of business forever. This was obviously back before we'd heard of "Political Correctness" or any other such mushy-headed stuff.
All I can say is, you FSU fans, don't despair. You might be in a W/L slump for now but today you have the absolute coolest team mascot anywhere. Don't let what happened to us happen to you.
Now that I've told that story for the first time, is next week cheerleader week? Be sure to include Missouri, Northwestern, and Stanford. :)
Considering that the Vols have played only one really good game so far this year, I think the Gamecocks should still win this one.
Bama/LSU next week is going to be an epic contest.
Okay, that makes much more sense then. The way I was reading it on the postgame recap, it made it sound as though the Canes would have gotten an automatic first down. That makes 50,000 times more sense.
I've gone back and forth as to whether or not to have cheerleader week this year. Last year, a few FReepers got offended, which surprised me. Of course, I did it leading up to election day, which was a major miscalculation on my part.
Yes! It will be. Sure am glad the Tide is resting this week though.
We’ve had a couple of not so good times lately. :-)
Our offense has got to get across the goal line.
But defense, defense, defense is what the Bear always thought won games!
And last Saturday he was right!!! :-)
Florida and Bama are mirror images of each other. The rate things are going, the offense is going to wind up giving up more touchdowns than the defense.
Maybe this rest week will get things back in order for BAMA.
GMac has had 3 pretty low weeks. Maybe he’ll get back his magic.
But the defense is the star of the show for now! :-) I like seeing that personally. :-)
Watching those BIG guys jump and move around is something else to see!
Mt. Cody wants to play offense soooooo bad, but he has to still get his weight down some more.
He’s got heart though!!! :-)
I’ve been a tad concerned about Tebow. I hope that young man is well! I’ve prayed for him!!!
UF has given up four defensive TDs all year. Two against Arkansas, one was a short drive after a turnover, and another was a 75-yard TD.
They gave up a 14-play 58 yard drive against Kentucky, when already up 31-0, and a 7-play 63-yard drive to Tennessee when they were already up 23-6.
So basically the only two sustained TD drives they’ve given up all year were with the game already well in hand.
Don't tell anybody, but even today Oklahoma City and Tulsa have schools named for Stand Watie. Pretty cool, don't you think?
I love this picture...:-)
For the first time in forever, Saturday’s scrimmage in Columbus is not a sellout yet. Somehow they figure 102,000 and change is and they still aren’t there yet.
Very rare a game doesn’t sell out before classes start in mid-Sept., but a game this late in the year is something new.
And NMSU is a 44.5 underdog. I’d take the points iffin I had to....
I was never very good at finding Waldo, and I may have failed to catch the subliminal message in your graphic. BUT I'll give it a stab: Are you saying you'd like to dress up as a Cowboy and choke Mr. Wood?
Hmm. Okay...That's harsh.
I don't get what you're saying. In the ACC Atlantic division if Clemson wins out, we end up tied with BC. Since we beat them head to head, we go to the ACC dance. No "help" needed. Georgia Tech wins out, they take the Coastal division hands down by one win over VT.
In honor of your guest-hosting the thread, I propose a new drinking game..take a swallow every time the camera does a close-up of Tebow..
“take a swallow every time the camera does a close-up of Tebow..”
Yikes! LOL
* * * * * *
QB Bradford’s surgery called a success
Oct 28
NORMAN, Okla. (AP)—Oklahoma’s Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Sam Bradford had surgery on his injured right shoulder Wednesday and the school called it a success.
In a release sent out by the school, Bradford’s father says Dr. James Andrews informed him that the procedure went “just as we expected.”
Kent Bradford said his son was experiencing some soreness, but was otherwise resting comfortably in Alabama after a 35-minute surgery. The quarterback, who had sprained the AC joint in his shoulder, was expected to return to Oklahoma within the next day or two.
Bradford has said he plans to enter the NFL draft if his recovery goes as planned. That process is expected to take four to six months.
My favorite English teacher was Mrs. Brown. (and thats all I’m gonna say about that). LOL!
That was be my the alumni assoc is trying to peddle the tixs to alumni members. I would have gone up there if it wasn’t month-end (busy time at work).
I know alot of people are rooting for Iowa to lose a game so they wont be any chance they appear in the BCS Championship Game (aka SEC Invitational). I just checked and it turns out FWIW that Iowa has won 2 of their last 3 games versus SEC teams in the Outback/Citrus Bowl games. They beat LSU in ‘04 and Florida in ‘05. Its too bad that OSU’s failure in bowl games recently will hamper Iowa. Iowa kinda reminds me of the OSU 2002 team as well as the ‘98 Tennessee team.
Got the hint, loud and clear!!!
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