">Posted on 10/31/2009 12:33:21 PM PDT by greyfoxx39
I've been receiving a lot of cute Halloween jokes and wonder if all you FReepers are getting them also.
Here are a few that I like:
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"Halloween Joke"
"Barak Hussein Obama Ummm Ummm Ummm"
Little Johnny sneers back at him, "Under my buckin' hat".
Q: Why can’t goblins have kids?
A: They have hollow weenies!
10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren’t...
1. So...What’d you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn’t get my mouth around it!
Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.
8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave it to you.
6. Person you are with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else, you already are.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last nine months.
4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you’re kinky.
3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.
1. If you don’t get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!
LOL. I guess I was a day early. At least 6 of those things were said in my bedroom last night
bada bing bada boom du dum dump....
Happy Halloween!!
A True Halloween Story. Honest!!!
I was walking home alone late one night when I heard a.......
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP... behind me.
Walking faster I looked back, and made out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards me,
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the I begain to run toward my home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind me .
faster...
faster...
faster...
BUMP...
BUMP..
BUMP....
I ran up to my door, fumbled with my keys, opened the door, and rushed in, slammed and locked the door behind me.
However, the coffin crashed through my door, with the lid of the coffin clapping ...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on my heels!
I Rushed upstairs to the bathroom where I locked myself in. My heart was pounding; my head was reeling; my breath was coming in sobbing gasps. .
With a loud CRASH the coffin started breaking down the door. Bumping and clapping towards me.
I screamed and reached for something heavy, anything ...
my hand came to rest on a large bottle of Robitussin.
Desperate, I threw the Robitussin as hard as I could at the apparition.
.... and ............. Finally ..........
.............the coffin stopped
No jokes, just that 3 of my Kiwanis buddies and I are leaving for a controlled Halloween Trick-or-Treat celebration at our local Holiday Inn Express. Families bring their kids & we’re handing out the candy.
!!Have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone!!!
Now, on with the stories...
Thanks for the link!
LOL bttt
Well, at least we know you don’t brag.
;-)
:0 If I was braggin it would have been 10 of 10 LOL!!
yeeeeowwwww!
Shame on you! Just shame! : )
I've been heralded for my PUNditry.
I've been awarded the Golden Acronymiac Trophy and deserve some
You’re welcome...I put a lot of Halloween toons in Friday’s thread.
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