I don’t qualify as one of the ladies here, but I do have one piece of advice to offer (free and well worth the price). What you want least is a gun that will anger an attacker without doing much else. The .380 is good, but the smallest gun I carry for defense is a S&W .38 Special with a 1.875’ barrel and a five round cylinder. (But fo course, if you choose any revolver, leave the hammer resting in an empty cylinder except at a range.)
You may not hit much at shooting range distances with a short barrel .38, but it will hit hard enough to stop most things that come out of alleys. Feel free to go larger, but think hard before going much smaller. (An FN Herstal 1911 .45 ACP with a fourteen round clip not only shoots great; it should double as a fine club; just a little bulky....)
“if you choose any revolver, leave the hammer resting in an empty cylinder except at a range.”
With all due respect, that is only true for revolvers without a transfer bar, like older Colts, etc.