Sesame Street explains a Ponzi Scheme
Posted on 11/06/2009 4:51:03 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Wow! Am I Number 1?
in with a joke....
A lady walks into Tiffany’s.
She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to
inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farted.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed
her little whoops and prays that a sales person wasn’t anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a
salesman standing right behind her. Good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect
of a professional in a store like Tiffany’s, he politely greets the lady
with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping
that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, ‘Sir,
what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’
He answers, “Madam. if you farted just looking at it - you’re going to
s*** when I tell you the price.”
In before the PING!!
Second picture: Look at the veggies all around.
What a co inki dink....I just finished reading this....
“Sesame Street”’s jab at Fox News sparks backlash
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20091105/pl_ynews/ynews_pl968
Two?
WOW! Early silliness today. Let the fun begin.
The next three weeks are gonna very very long for me. Woohoo Friday!!!!
Your dancing letters are confused.
You look more like Number 2... if you know what I mean. ;-)
Yeah, sometimes I feel like it too.
One day, she let one loose and shouted to her footman, "Catherwood, stop that!"
The footman replied, "Certainly, madam, which way did it go?"
:)
I am so gonna steal that one...
Aw, hey, come on... Flag on the field for “Elmo’s Experiments.” What is this, Democrat Underground?
(Sorry, I didn’t want my first judgments to be critical, I do enjoy the silliness threads so much.)
Grover bump
How about, ‘With Obama in the White House, the United States is completely and utterly effed’?
It is tough to be silly today, but I will give it a shot. Thanks for keeping it alive.
"Hey kids! If the swine flu doesn't kill you you'll live like a slave paying government debt and taxes forever! But sneeze on your clothes anyway. It's fun!"
IN! Finally. Again.
in too! :)
A Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and a Texan are all working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total”, says the Genie.
The Canadian says, “I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.”
POOF! With the blink of the Genie’s eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come in our precious land.”
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie’s eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Texan says, “I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall around the land.”
The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it’s virtually impenetrable.”
The Texan sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says, “Fill it with water.”
Palestine is a country?
I’m so slow lately. Must be the time change again. *sigh*
The Obama economy is so bad...that the President is changing his slogan to “Hope and Spare Change!”
The Obama economy is so bad...that Nancy Pelosi is selling earmarks for 1/2 price.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Saturday Night Live is thinking about telling an Obama joke.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the President is running a small business on the side. It’s called GM.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Rosie O’Donnell is losing weight.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Kenya now claims he wasn’t born there.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Al Gore is selling carbon credits on late night television.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Bill Ayers has to make do with M-80s.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the White House plans to cut Hillary Clinton’s hours.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Barack’s pyramid is on hold.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Michelle fired her nanny and learned her children’s names.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the airlines are installing pay toilets in coach.
The Obama economy is so bad...that you can order checks pre-marked “Insufficient Funds.”
The Obama economy is so bad...that Congress is planning a spare change for clunkers program.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Americans are being caught sneaking into Mexico.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the Chicago mob is laying off judges.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Jesse Jackson is renting a limo.
The Obama economy is so bad...that it only takes one lick to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Motel Six won’t leave the light on for you anymore.
The Obama economy is so bad...that they now ask at the burger counter, “Can you afford fries with that?”
The Obama economy is so bad...that the federal stimulus checks are bouncing.
The Obama economy is so bad...that banking executives are playing miniature golf.
The Obama economy is so bad...that the CEO of Wal-Mart was seen shopping at Wal-Mart.
The Obama economy is so bad...that one of the the best paying jobs nowadays is jury duty.
The Obama economy is so bad...that even people who aren’t in the Cabinet have stopped paying taxes.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Michael Vick is working at Petco.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Al Sharpton cuts his own hair.
The Obama economy is so bad...that McDonald’s has a layaway plan.
The Obama economy is so bad...that Bill Clinton watches scrambled porn.
It’s August in Washington and the temperature is 97 degrees. Obama’s been working hard all day and decides to step out onto the South Portico for a smoke. The second he steps out the door he’s hit by a blast of the humid, searing heat and at the same moment he steps in an enormous steaming heap of dog mess that Bo has deposited on the porch. He looks down and says, “My God, I’m melting!”
Q: What is the best thing about cash for clunkers?
A: It took most of the Obama stickers off the road.
Obama is giving a speech to schoolchildren and he hears someone shout “You Lie”.
Obama continues and again he hears “you lie”.
Suddenly Nancy Pelosi Jumps up and says who said that. Next time I hear “You Lie”, I am going to kick that student out and you won’t be able to hear the president’s speech.
Obama continues and suddenly every student in the school is heard to shout, “You Lie”
Owwwwooooo!
I wish they would make the 3-D images work by CROSSING your eyes. I can do that at will, but I have a very hard time with these divergent things.
A squad of soldiers was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American soldier in a similar but less serious state.
The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured troop what had happened.
The troop reported, ‘I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.
‘I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a fat, good-for-nothing, left wing liberal drunk who doesn’t know how to Drive.
‘So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, ‘’Oh yeah? Well, so does Hillary Clinton!’’
‘And, there we were, in the middle of the road, laughing and shaking hands, when a truck hit us.’
Is that a cat?
Now look at her face then and look at it now. I think she’s had work done.
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