Posted on 11/10/2009 2:57:00 PM PST by Justaham
A cancer diagnosis can strain any relationship. But when a woman gets news of a life-threatening illness, her husband is six times more likely to leave her than if the tables were turned and the man got the bad news, according to new research.
The study included diagnoses of both cancer and multiple sclerosis and found an overall divorce rate of nearly 12 percent, which is similar to that found in the normal population.
But when the researchers looked at gender differences, they found the rate was nearly 21 percent when women were the patients compared with about 3 percent when men got the life-threatening diagnosis.
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Is Newt Gingrich in this study ?
Any man who leaves his wife because she is sick is mentally ill himself.
I love her more than ever and we have a great life together...the men who leave their wives during this dire time of need are cowards IMO...
Bullshit. I don't believe it...unless they questioned no one but certain Dimocrats and their mistresses...
it is a load of crap
why this survey how about who leaves first when their spouse losses their job.
sounds like a lifetime channel survey
Maybe the fact that men have a 20% higher mortality rate from cancer than women has more to do with the divorce statistic in this story than the cruelty of men.
http://seer.cancer.gov/csr/1975_2006/results_merged/topic_race_ethnicity.pdf
Covering for John Edwards
I am proud of you! God bless your wife. I have a friend who has both MS and cancer. She got MS about 10 years into her marriage to her husband, Joe. After 30 years of marriage, she got breast cancer and is now in remission, but her MS has gotten worse. She has been married to her husband for 52 years now, confined to a wheelchair and the cancer has come back. Her loyal husband is still by her side, nurturing her and making her last days the happiest of her life.
“sounds like a lifetime channel survey”
disgusting...
My brother married a woman with breast cancer. It re-occured and she went thru treatment the second time and is doing well currently.
Men tend to leave when home life gets rough as well, say after a child dies or a child is born with a handicap.
It's unfortunate that people tend to forget the vows they took in front of God, "In sickness and in health" is not BS...
Like I said...sadly, many people are cowards...the strong ones stick it through.
Hope all works out with your bro and his wife...
agreed
I would never leave my wife if she was hurt and I know of not one man who ever has.
agreed
I would never leave my wife if she was hurt and I know of not one man who ever would or has.
IF there were family dinners in the home anymore, this would make for some interesting dinner conversations this evening......
I know men like these....disgusting pigs. But I think it’s the exception to the rule, most men stay and make it work.
...5 months ago, we closed on a house in KY, the same day, we were told she has cancer. They're right about one thing, it's the most devastating words I've ever heard. But, I made a vow that I will never break, in sickness,,, till death, we will not part...
...They can exclude me from the survey, I'm still in love with her, no matter what!!!
This article is bullshit.
My prayers for you, brother.
That’s bad!!! But funny!
What if a spouse is an alcoholic? Do we treat the spouse the same as if he/she had cancer? (Just interested in a response)
I always answered, "It's in the contract"
It is in the contract. "...in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health..."
I can't imagine a man (by that I mean a real man) leaving a sick wife.
Just another man bashing study. Why do these studies NEVER show the dark side of women?
They also missed out on the obvious one: when the husband can help his wife better if they are divorced.
That is, a married couple are seen as a single economic entity. If the care is very expensive, the State and federal government insist that all of their assets be depleted before giving aid. But if they get divorced, technically she is impoverished, she can get aid; but her now ex-husband can use their assets on top of that to help her even more.
This commonly happens when an elderly member of a family gets sick. To preserve the family nest egg, all the resources are transferred to the rest of the family. So technically, the elderly member is impoverished, and most of their care is paid for by the State. Then the family can still support them on top of that, without going bankrupt.
Interesting question.
For me, the key difference is that people don’t choose cancer.
That is the answer that I figured I would get. I’m not going to make this thread into something its not. I could argue counter to your point all day long.
You forget about insurance: the wife cannot get covered under the husband’s employment based health insurance policy if they are divorced.
I knew someone who didn’t divorce his sick wife for just that reason even though they were legally separated, for all practical purposes divorced, and he dated other women and had at least one relationship lasting more than ten years.
I am assuming her insurance has run out and she is uninsurable. This is increasingly common with catastrophic insurance and nursing home insurance. The underwriters figured out that not only were they unprofitable, but they couldn’t afford to offer them even as a package with other insurance. They were black holes, money pits.
Figure anywhere from $30-100k, at inflated medical care prices, and she is out of the system. Any expense beyond that comes out of their savings and assets, like home. This will impoverish most people quickly. So they divorce and she moves into an efficiency apartment, hopefully near where she is being treated, and applies for aid.
Right off the top, once her primary medical expenses are paid by the State, her ex-husband can give her up to $12,000 more a year as a gift, for *additional* care, on top of the aid. Other relatives of means can also give her up to $12k each.
So this is a very smart strategy to use.
Some spouses leave their alcoholic spouse because the alcoholic cannot or will not get the help they need. A real relationship cannot exist when one party is an addict.
Some alcoholics leave their spouse because they find someone who will tell them they are not an alcoholic, and then proceed to help them drink themselves to death.
From everything I have read, most alcoholics know they are alcoholics, but convince themselves they can control it. IMO, they choose not to get they help they need.
Seventy nine percent of men do not abandon their wives during their time of need in this case. So...most men are very loyal and good. My was to me. Took care of me better than my momma.
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