Posted on 12/03/2009 6:03:15 AM PST by Road Warrior ‘04
Let 'em begin:
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between the iron or the wood.
Tiger just hates it when he drives and his balls hit a tree.
His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks like she really went for the driver.
Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released? "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."
Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning? Then you can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.
Tiger just lost his endorsement with Gillette because now they can't use his ad in which he says, "This was my closest shave yet."
Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She's teaching Phil Mickelson how to beat Tiger.
What do Tiger and Elin have in common? They both try to club his balls as hard as possible.
Tiger's confused. Every OTHER time he made a hole-in-one, everyone was all happy about it.
Usually Tiger makes it onto the fairway, but he's in trouble on this round because he put one into the bush.
Did you hear about Tiger's last outing? He drove into a tree, then ended up with a bad lie.
What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger? Looks like it was a bitching wedge.
Tiger Woods has a lot of nice cars, but now he has a hole in one.
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 350 yards.
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
Even the world’s best golfer cannot play every lie.
He’s changed his name from “Tiger” to “Tom Cat”
Women agree, Mrs. Woods should have employed an iron.
Men agree, Mr. Woods should have employed a driver.
And to think I thought “Woods” was a reference to a driver.
“Go in the hole” will be replaced with “Hey, where the White women at?”
The Woods haven’t come out of the house to go to the grocery store. They must be living off “hot tongue” and “Cold Shoulder”.
Cheeta...
Well well, my question about the obsession with the destruction of a family and the elevation of a home-wreaker gets pulled.
But a joke posting about the Woods gets to stay.
OK I get it.
They are hiding in that house.
I wonder what they are eating or doing with their time?
Obviously Woods has access to his cell phone and internet (haha).
Put a Tiger in your skank........
That’s what my friend heard on the radio. Tiger Woods has had a name change. He will no longer be called Tiger; henceforth he will be known as “Cheetah.”
Nike dropped Tiger’s endorsement deal; they said his balls are uncontrollable
"PS. Michelle says only date Black women from now on!"
Cheetah
I don't follow the "Celebrity Threads" unless they concern our administration, then I occassionally open them up.
Frankly, I wish the press would IGNORE Tiger & his wife, but that isn't going to happen. The majority of the populace want that type of "news" and are uninterested in anything political. Current Events to them is sports & fashion & Hollyweirdos.
A friend told me she heard on the radio that Tigers name has been changed. He will not be called Tiger anymore; henceforth he is known as, Cheetah.
Cheetah Woods..LOL! (works for me)
Released for Xmas 2009, Ang Lee’s classic remade :
Crouching Tiger, Passion Wagon.
Great post.
Sheesh, your quick. (Great FReepers FReep alike. ;))
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