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6 Adorable Cat Behaviors With Shockingly Evil Explanations
Cracked.com ^ | Dec 07, 2009 | Matthew Hayden

Posted on 12/08/2009 12:38:50 AM PST by Slings and Arrows

There seem to be two kinds of people in the world: those who don't understand cats, and those who think cats are kind of douchebags.

Unfortunately for cat lovers, science has kind of come down on the side of that second group. Research has revealed that a lot of the quirky and even cute things your kitty does are actually signs that your cat is kind of a d***.

(Excerpt) Read more at cracked.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: assclownfeline; cat; cats; dooshcat; kittyping; napl
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WARNING: Strong language!

Thanks to Salem for the link!

1 posted on 12/08/2009 12:38:52 AM PST by Slings and Arrows
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To: Slings and Arrows; Glenn; republicangel; Bahbah; Beaker; BADROTOFINGER; etabeta; asgardshill; ...
Cats are evil. Who knew?


2 posted on 12/08/2009 12:40:49 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Jew, conservative, and proud supporter of Israel.)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Salamander

“They-Would-Eat-You-If-They-Could” Ping


3 posted on 12/08/2009 12:45:57 AM PST by shibumi (" ..... then we will fight in the shade.")
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To: Slings and Arrows

Yo


4 posted on 12/08/2009 12:46:37 AM PST by happinesswithoutpeace (Ghaybat al-Sughra)
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To: Slings and Arrows
I knew I didn't like cats.

After reading this, I REALLY don't like them. Makes me understand all the nasty things a relative's cat used to do. Yuck.

5 posted on 12/08/2009 12:51:00 AM PST by Tuscaloosa Goldfinch ( T.G., global warming denier.)
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To: Slings and Arrows


Now if only the Viking Kitties would do that to the trolls that show up here...
6 posted on 12/08/2009 12:52:46 AM PST by OCCASparky (Steely-Eyed Killer of the Deep)
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To: Slings and Arrows
My daughters had a number of cats. Two of them I liked. The rest should have been used for rugby practice.
7 posted on 12/08/2009 12:54:13 AM PST by oyez ( damnant quod non intelligunt)
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To: Slings and Arrows

No matter what the real reason for a cat’s behavior, if people like it, cats will continue to be pets.


8 posted on 12/08/2009 12:59:20 AM PST by fso301
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To: Slings and Arrows

HA!!! This is news?

I figured out most of this stuff a long time ago.


9 posted on 12/08/2009 1:17:44 AM PST by Ronin
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To: Ronin

“This is news”?

this is teh news!


10 posted on 12/08/2009 1:29:45 AM PST by MissDairyGoodnessVT (Stop Muslims Training on American Soil NOW)
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To: Slings and Arrows

“So the next time you PO your kitty and it hisses at you, it’s not just showing its disapproval. It’s pretending to be something that can kill you.”


11 posted on 12/08/2009 1:37:43 AM PST by Dallas59 (No To O -Time is going by really really really really slow.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I now have over 10 cats, and counting.
Eight are juvenile.
They get fresh fish, usually morning and evening.
Talk about pandemonium at feeding time....


12 posted on 12/08/2009 1:40:34 AM PST by AlexW (Now in the Philippines . Happy not to be back in the USA for now.)
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To: MissDairyGoodnessVT

Only to unconkered hoomans....


13 posted on 12/08/2009 1:43:23 AM PST by Ronin
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To: Slings and Arrows

Well, now I know who’s really in charge at my house!


14 posted on 12/08/2009 1:50:06 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Don't eat your dog; eat obnoxious, liberal humans to save the planet!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Wuz dere eber dout?


15 posted on 12/08/2009 2:07:46 AM PST by Ronin
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To: Slings and Arrows
My cat will purposely walk in front of you and slow down so you have to wait for it and lots of times it will cater wall like it is starving to death and I put a fresh can of food down that I know the cat likes and it looks at it and walks away. They are evil miniacle creatures.
16 posted on 12/08/2009 2:14:58 AM PST by guitarplayer1953 (Romak 7.62X54MM, AK47 7.62X39MM, LARGO 9X23MM, HAPINESS IS A WARM GUN BANG BANG YEA YEA)
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To: Ronin

cats ruel


17 posted on 12/08/2009 2:18:18 AM PST by MissDairyGoodnessVT (Stop Muslims Training on American Soil NOW)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I hate cats.. they get into and on everything, and the damn hairballs make you puke which just doubles the mess (we have two cats). The article sums up what I figured was going on all along !

I’ll take my “dawg” any day... his affection and trust is pure!


18 posted on 12/08/2009 2:28:41 AM PST by maddog55 (The enemy is domestic and it's the government.)
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To: maddog55

I like dogs, too, but they are really nasty creatures. They stink like heck, and need a lot more care than cats do. They eat crap and then want to lick your face. They bite the neighbors kids and cause all kinds of trouble. Cats take care of themselves.


19 posted on 12/08/2009 2:34:56 AM PST by beckysueb (Hey Obama, get out of Sarahs' house!)
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To: maddog55

I, for one, welcome our new feline overlords.


20 posted on 12/08/2009 2:37:26 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Jew, conservative, and proud supporter of Israel.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
They control all the apps in your life.


21 posted on 12/08/2009 2:42:50 AM PST by Daffynition (What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
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To: guitarplayer1953

22 posted on 12/08/2009 2:42:52 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Jew, conservative, and proud supporter of Israel.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

ebil tings luv lil’mousies


23 posted on 12/08/2009 2:44:09 AM PST by MissDairyGoodnessVT (Stop Muslims Training on American Soil NOW =^..^=)
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To: Daffynition

If they could just make ‘em with bigger batteries...


24 posted on 12/08/2009 2:46:05 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Jew, conservative, and proud supporter of Israel.)
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To: MissDairyGoodnessVT

25 posted on 12/08/2009 2:50:54 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Jew, conservative, and proud supporter of Israel.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Cats are just another type of animal, people who say they ‘hate cats’ really hate themselves


26 posted on 12/08/2009 2:53:49 AM PST by Son House (The Learning Curve for Democrats on Macroeconomics is getting Exponential)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Well, there is that theory that cats are just tiny little women wearing fur coats.............


27 posted on 12/08/2009 3:32:53 AM PST by Jimmy Valentine (DemocRATS - when they speak, they lie; when they are silent, they are stealing the American Dream)
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To: Slings and Arrows

FUNNY!!!


28 posted on 12/08/2009 3:36:22 AM PST by autumnraine (You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out!)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Cats love murder.

Perhaps those cute little fuzzballs are the Spawn of Hell?


29 posted on 12/08/2009 4:12:16 AM PST by paulycy (Demand Constitutionality.)
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To: AlexW

I now have over 10 cats, and counting.
Eight are juvenile.
They get fresh fish, usually morning and evening.
Talk about pandemonium at feeding time....

Good to hear. We have two very important feline members of our family. Both are rescue kittys. Cats respond over time to kindness and understanding. Unfortunately for them, they often require patience and thoughtful attention on our part to understand their needs. Once we accomplish those challenges, we will have a wonderful companion that requires minimal maintenance. A good book is “The Cat Whisperer: The Secret of How to Talk to Your Cat by Claire Bessant”.


30 posted on 12/08/2009 4:50:36 AM PST by bytesmith
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To: shibumi

I do notice that when I’m sick, my cat really really loves me which I have long recognized as predator behavior.


31 posted on 12/08/2009 4:59:41 AM PST by Mercat (Reluctant glenbeckian)
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To: guitarplayer1953
They are evil miniacle creatures.

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.....

32 posted on 12/08/2009 5:15:25 AM PST by Thermalseeker (Stop the insanity - Flush Congress!)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Great site. Did you check out the other links at the bottom of the cat story? Superpowers! Diabolical Predators! New Substances! Totally cool.

And I’m booking passage on that nuke-’em-from-space rocket as we speak.


33 posted on 12/08/2009 5:21:17 AM PST by TheOldLady (No more global baloneyism!! -- Jim Thompson!)
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To: OCCASparky

This is so true. I’d tell you about Muffin and the roaches, but it’s too horrible to even remember.

At least we didn’t eat any. They were wiggling and woke us up.


34 posted on 12/08/2009 5:25:51 AM PST by TheOldLady (No more global baloneyism!! -- Jim Thompson!)
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To: TheOldLady
Last night, I could hear the cat pouncing and making rustling noises in our bedroom as we slept (or TRIED to sleep). It really got me POed, and I was about to get up and drop kick her, but I had the thought "Whatever Punkin is killing right now is better off dead than crawling on my face while I sleep".

This morning I saw it: The biggest cockroach I have ever seen. When my wife gave it a coup de grace with a shoe it actually burst out a gloppy stream of brown gut-goo. Totaly gross.

Anyway, cats have a purpose: to keep cockroaches off my face at night.

35 posted on 12/08/2009 5:34:26 AM PST by I Buried My Guns ( B.L.OA.T. : Buy Lots Of Ammo Today)
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To: TheOldLady

PS: My cat is named Muffin too! Can I be in your crazy cat lady club?


36 posted on 12/08/2009 5:35:32 AM PST by I Buried My Guns ( B.L.OA.T. : Buy Lots Of Ammo Today)
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To: Slings and Arrows

This is such B S! I have never met an evil cat and I know hundreds since I foster, feed and trap them.


37 posted on 12/08/2009 5:50:21 AM PST by Fawn (Zoo has African Lion-WhiteHouse has Lyin African)
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To: I Buried My Guns

You and Mrs. Guns are most welcome in the crazy cat... uh.. person club. Hubby and I are very fond of our four cats.

P.S. They’re both waiting at the Rainbow Bridge, but my Muffin was a male, and his companion, Tiger was female. Don’t ask.


38 posted on 12/08/2009 7:13:12 AM PST by TheOldLady (No more global baloneyism!! -- Jim Thompson!)
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To: guitarplayer1953
My cat will purposely walk in front of you and slow down so you have to wait for it and lots of times it will cater wall like it is starving to death and I put a fresh can of food down that I know the cat likes and it looks at it and walks away.

Sounds like some Democrats.

39 posted on 12/08/2009 8:17:52 AM PST by a fool in paradise (Question authority!Who is the University of East Anglia to drive the 'Global Climate Change' agenda?)
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To: TheOldLady

I did. Cracked has...interesting...articles, and it’s been a while since I was there.


40 posted on 12/08/2009 8:37:54 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Jew, conservative, and proud supporter of Israel.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Cats are here to observe us and report about us.
Ever try to have a privte conversation?
Ever notice that kitty is right there in rapt attention, listening to the conversation?


41 posted on 12/08/2009 8:56:00 AM PST by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Darksheare

I thought they were here to prevent me from success at videogames.


42 posted on 12/08/2009 8:56:56 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Jew, conservative, and proud supporter of Israel.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

That’s a side quest for them, not the over arching plan.


43 posted on 12/08/2009 9:15:52 AM PST by Darksheare (Tar is cheap, and feathers are plentiful.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

When a dog licks you, he’s kissing you.

When a cat licks you, she’s tasting you.


44 posted on 12/08/2009 9:24:59 AM PST by BJClinton (http://www.williamsfortexas.com/)
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To: maddog55

I’ll take a cat any day. They don’t slobber!


45 posted on 12/08/2009 9:34:34 AM PST by Sunshine Sister
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To: Sunshine Sister

Dog Slobber is such a delight

;-)


46 posted on 12/08/2009 9:38:03 AM PST by Halgr (Once a Marine, always a Marine - Semper Fi)
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To: Halgr
Dog Slobber is such a delight

Guess you haven't had a couple of Newfies, have you! :-)

47 posted on 12/08/2009 10:01:29 AM PST by mupcat
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To: mupcat

I have both cats and dogs and they hang out together especially now, 19 degrees this morning at home. Aw, love them all. We put the human emotion into it they don’t at all. Been training a new Doberman female we adopt from the breeder. They do not know the repremand if it is not done immediately. They don’t think like humans.

It is nice to care for God’s creatures, that love is recognized to eternity. Promise!


48 posted on 12/08/2009 10:58:16 AM PST by Uversabound (Our Military past and present: Our Highest example of Brotherhood of Man & Doing God's Will)
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To: beckysueb; All
Free Republic is full of lots of information.

I have a shit eating dog and found out the vet can give you a pill that will stop your dog from doing that...

Heard it first and Free Republic and verified it with my vet......FYI

49 posted on 12/08/2009 12:37:23 PM PST by goat granny
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To: mupcat

Naaaa just boxers and rottys..........LOL


50 posted on 12/08/2009 12:39:48 PM PST by Halgr (Once a Marine, always a Marine - Semper Fi)
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