www.marriedtothesea.com
“That you can’t insist on both being treated like a princess while also being a totally “independent woman?” (And that these dual impulses are driving men nuts?) And that a lot of relationships are falling apart not because there aren’t any good men to be found, but because women are so paranoid about “losing their identity” that they can’t settle down and give themselves over to being with a man? (Did you know that 2/3 of divorces are initiated by women?)”
I wonder if half the reason marriages fall apart is because the men are tired of being treated like a science experiment for Oprah’s latest social theory on relationships. These days a lot of women (and sometimes men) want the best of both worlds. The ones that are really paying for it are the children.
Well, I guess we can at last put THAT one in the can where it belongs.
(The Manly Man is behind the camera, 'cause he's the only one who knows how to work it.)
What I notice is that many men do not just expect a woman to be attractive, sexually responsive, sweet, and a good homemaker. They also expect her to be a great professional success.
I’m an intelligent, very attractive, cultured, very fit, warm and supportive woman. But for many years I was married and the stay-at-home mom of two sick kids and the wife of a rather demanding husband, so I never really developed a stunning career as an attorney, physician, etc. Now that I’m out in the dating world, I’m AMAZED at the number of men who are gravely disappointed that I just have a humble job. I surmise that they don’t want to have to be concerned about an eventual property settlement, and don’t want to have to support me. Fair enough. But since when is working with dignity been insufficient? And these are conservative men who should theoretically care about traditional values. Yeesh! You guys think women are hard to please, but it works both ways.
Heck, I’m proud of the fact that I have done well in my job, maintain and am rehabbing a good-sized house and yard, have gotten my kids through school and into college with very little help from the X, have been developing a little home business, train horses, stay in shape, do volunteer work, and go to church. But that’s not enough: I have to have a six-figure income too. You guys are a little bit hard to please.
I have always told my husband that the hardest job is his. The Bible says how important a woman’s job is, but it is his job to put those tasks AND the woman doing them in a place of honor... to do it publicly. This adds value to what doing those tasks means to him as well.
My father always complimented my mother on a delicious dinner, etc. and encouraged us kids to join in with our appreciative comments.
Edith, “Get me a beer!”
“What’s for dinner?”
About 5 years ago, my college (a Southern Baptist school) printed a letter in the advice column. It was from a guy complaining that the women who were attending school were not being submissive to men like the Bible commanded.
The consensus of most of the women on campus was that until the guys were willing to step up and be men, the women on campus were going to have to be on their own. Some guys, not all but some seem to think that being a man is a question of gender and it’s not. Male is gender, being a man is in someone’s actions. And there are not alot of guys out there willing to step up and be men.
True irony. I told a friend of mine that he had lately reminded me of Frank Sinatra or James Stewart. He said, “I have been reading the Art of Manliness blog.” Now, I see you posting an article from the blog.
There is a difference between being treated like a princess vs. expecting to be treated like a princess. The former involves grace, generosity and humility. The latter involves pride, entitlement and vanity. The former knows the attention, lavish gifts, and stature are more from dumb luck than personal effort (a la "there but for the grace of God go I"). The latter demands that which is not earned and may in fairness evaporate upon contempt, whim or disfavor.
Be grateful for what you receive, and gracious for what you don't - that is the way of the princess. Raging bitch isn't.