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You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off![Official Darwin Awards - 2009]
The Telegraph [UK] ^ | 02 Jan 2010 | Richard Alleyne, Science Correspondent

Posted on 01/02/2010 6:26:09 PM PST by Slings and Arrows

Two Belgian bankrobbers have been named the Darwin Award winners of the year after killing themselves while trying to crack open a cash machine.

(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Humor; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: 2009review; darwinaward; manoftheyear; napl
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Anybody else thinking of The Producers?
1 posted on 01/02/2010 6:26:10 PM PST by Slings and Arrows
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To: Slings and Arrows

I liked Thunderbolt and lightfoot the best


2 posted on 01/02/2010 6:28:23 PM PST by al baby (Hi Mom sarc ;))
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To: Slings and Arrows

“Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?”


3 posted on 01/02/2010 6:29:04 PM PST by Petronski (In Germany they came first for the Communists, And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist...)
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To: Slings and Arrows; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
Whatever the state of the economy, Mr Darwin is definitely not unemployed.


4 posted on 01/02/2010 6:30:38 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I believe in Darwin ... but only when it comes to the award named in his honor.


5 posted on 01/02/2010 6:32:13 PM PST by LiberConservative (Global Warming/'Climate Change": Biggest Scam in History)
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To: Tribune7

ping


6 posted on 01/02/2010 6:32:55 PM PST by Temple Owl (Excelsior! Onward and upward.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I’m hungry. I’m in the mood for pork....cooked in a pit in the back yard. I have a shovel....lots of alcohol. Yeah, I’ll do that.....


7 posted on 01/02/2010 6:34:55 PM PST by nesnah
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To: Petronski

If Woodcock was in there, he’s DOA.


8 posted on 01/02/2010 6:36:05 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Two awkward and unfortunate bank robbers were killed on Saturday while trying to steal money from the bank in the Belgian town of Dinant. In an attempt to rob the ATM, they used too much dynamite, and blew up the ATM along with half of the bank.


9 posted on 01/02/2010 6:37:54 PM PST by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I heard of this one Darwin Award winner once. He was exploring Africa and was attacked by tsetse flies. So he jumped into a river and was eaten by piranha instead.

Also, I heard this one story about someone who wanted to try out his bullet proof vest, so he asked his friend to stab him with a knife. nuff said.


10 posted on 01/02/2010 6:38:53 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder (The right thing is not always the popular thing)
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To: JoeProBono

What a pity. They could have had great careers as jihadis.


11 posted on 01/02/2010 6:39:43 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: Telepathic Intruder

Any story that starts: “Here, hold my beer, watch this” generally gets into our Darwin award category.


12 posted on 01/02/2010 6:41:00 PM PST by edcoil (If I had 1 cent for every dollar the government saved, Bill Gates and I would be friends.)
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To: Telepathic Intruder; All

The primary source:

http://www.darwinawards.com/


13 posted on 01/02/2010 6:41:41 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: JoeProBono; neverdem; grey_whiskers; patton; EODGUY; Doohickey; NicknamedBob; VRWCmember; ...

A question then: If it occurred Saturday, then is this the first 2010 Darloser Award, or a meritorious 2009 Darloser Award nominated in their abstenia of mind?


14 posted on 01/02/2010 6:47:13 PM PST by Robert A. Cook, PE (I can only donate monthly, but socialists' ABBCNNBCBS continue to lie every day!)
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To: Telepathic Intruder

“I heard of this one Darwin Award winner once. He was exploring Africa and was attacked by tsetse flies. So he jumped into a river and was eaten by piranha instead.”

Sounds more like South America - you sure the river wasn’t the Amazon? Either that or the piranha were really crocs.


15 posted on 01/02/2010 6:47:42 PM PST by GGpaX4DumpedTea (I am a tea party descendant - steeped in the Constitutional legacy handed down by the Founders)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Ben Nelson should have been a runner up by killing his career by selling out for 30 pieces of silver.


16 posted on 01/02/2010 6:48:07 PM PST by JohnD9207 (REGISTERED RIGHT WING THUG!)
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To: Robert A. Cook, PE

The bungled bank robbery happened on 9/26/09.


17 posted on 01/02/2010 6:50:15 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: Telepathic Intruder
I heard of this one Darwin Award winner once. He was exploring Africa and was attacked by tsetse flies. So he jumped into a river and was eaten by piranha instead.

Very doubtful. Piranha are found in the waters of the Amazon basin, on the continent of South America.

18 posted on 01/02/2010 6:50:18 PM PST by centurion316
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To: Slings and Arrows

the best chlorine in the gene pool to be used is the one that is most effective at the total elimination of the life source you are trying to kill....


19 posted on 01/02/2010 6:51:11 PM PST by handy old one (If you play in nature be prepared to be played with by nature!)
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To: centurion316

Helluva jump.


20 posted on 01/02/2010 6:52:00 PM PST by Richard Kimball (We're all criminals. They just haven't figured out what some of us have done yet.)
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To: GGpaX4DumpedTea

Africa, South America, whatever. The way I heard it, it seemed like Africa, however. Congo, obviously. But, who cares if I’m wrong?


21 posted on 01/02/2010 6:52:13 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder (The right thing is not always the popular thing)
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To: GGpaX4DumpedTea

It could have been Crocs, actually, which would make it Australia or something.


22 posted on 01/02/2010 6:53:30 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder (The right thing is not always the popular thing)
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To: Petronski
“Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?”

That's the one.


23 posted on 01/02/2010 6:55:24 PM PST by paulycy (AMERICA: Less safe. Less free. More broke.)
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To: Telepathic Intruder
I heard of this one Darwin Award winner once. He was exploring Africa and was attacked by tsetse flies. So he jumped into a river and was eaten by piranha instead.

Very doubtful. Piranha are found in the waters of the Amazon basin, on the continent of South America.

24 posted on 01/02/2010 6:56:54 PM PST by centurion316
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To: JohnD9207

To qualify, Nelson would have to render himself unable to reproduce. Unless he’s allergic to Viagra, he’s still in the game.


25 posted on 01/02/2010 6:58:41 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: JoeProBono

Wow, pics of the bank. This may be the first Darwin award I’ve seen that is actually true. Most have been urban legends


26 posted on 01/02/2010 7:00:56 PM PST by Figment ("A communist is someone who reads Marx.An anti-communist is someone who understands Marx" R Reagan)
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To: centurion316

I heard that particular story on the Mark and Brian show, not sure if you’ve heard of that. I just recounted it as best I could.


27 posted on 01/02/2010 7:01:12 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder (The right thing is not always the popular thing)
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To: Robert A. Cook, PE

This is not the darwin award you are looking for.


28 posted on 01/02/2010 7:06:06 PM PST by patton (Obama has replaced "Res Publica" with "Quod licet Jovi non licet bovi.")
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To: edcoil

Years ago I saw a video on tv, with a very drunk guy asking a deputy, “Wanna see something neat?” He then bent over and ran head first into a wall.

I nearly split a gut. After the deputy went over and picked him up, he said, “Wanna see it again?”

If anyone has a link to it I’d like to take another look at it.


29 posted on 01/02/2010 7:15:53 PM PST by I still care (A Republic - if you can keep it. - Ben Franklin)
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To: Robert A. Cook, PE

Wrong Saturday.

The rule for dynamiting ATMs is different than the rule for transporting nitroglycerin.

It’s like the rule for winning the manliest man contest; “Only enough to win, my dear!”


30 posted on 01/02/2010 7:18:50 PM PST by NicknamedBob (I don't watch TV unless it has a keyboard. 'Cause I like to talk back.)
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To: Slings and Arrows


Wile E. Coyote sez you can never have too much dynamite.




31 posted on 01/02/2010 7:28:37 PM PST by Salem (Everything is going to be okay! - http://www.salemthesoldier.us/Okay)
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To: Salem

My hero!


32 posted on 01/02/2010 7:47:47 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: Telepathic Intruder; tubebender; Slings and Arrows
It could have been Crocs, actually, which would make it Australia or something.

Or it could have been a giant industrial shredder, which would make it Iraq, or sumthin...

Um, tubebender, you're just going to have to learn to read backwards. You know, shredder to croc to piranha. How bout the guy that tied balloons to his lawn chair. Don't try this a home kids.

33 posted on 01/02/2010 7:48:21 PM PST by glock rocks (Wait, what?)
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To: NicknamedBob; Pete-R-Bilt; tubebender; NormsRevenge; WestCoastGal
It’s like the rule for winning the manliest man contest; “Only enough to win, my dear!”

Must have got it confused with the motorhead horsepower motto... if more is better, then too much is just right.

34 posted on 01/02/2010 7:50:47 PM PST by glock rocks (Wait, what?)
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To: Slings and Arrows; patton

OK. Thanks for the info. 8<)


35 posted on 01/02/2010 7:53:40 PM PST by Robert A. Cook, PE (I can only donate monthly, but socialists' ABBCNNBCBS continue to lie every day!)
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To: glock rocks

I should get a runner-up award for the abuse I take from my favorite FReepers...


36 posted on 01/02/2010 8:14:02 PM PST by tubebender (Some minds are like concrete Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set...)
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To: glock rocks

It might have been velociraptors, which would make it somewhere around the Cretaceous Period or something.


37 posted on 01/02/2010 8:23:38 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder (The right thing is not always the popular thing)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Must be a slow day in the science world to have this written by a somewhat illiterate science writer and posted in the Science section of the paper.


38 posted on 01/02/2010 8:39:47 PM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

“...’ang on a moment, lads, I’ve got a great idea....”


39 posted on 01/02/2010 8:51:27 PM PST by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Robert A. Cook, PE

My pleasure.


40 posted on 01/02/2010 9:16:10 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: metmom

I was wondering about that myself.


41 posted on 01/02/2010 9:17:10 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("The solution to every ill is a cat." --TheOldLady)
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To: I still care

There’s an episode of wings where Robert Culp plays a wild and whacky ex-astronaut named Ace Galvin and at the end of the episode and he and this dumb kid are playing a game called “Blastoff” which is basically take a swig of whisky, scream BLASTOFF!!!and ram your head through the sheetrock.
Funny episode.


42 posted on 01/02/2010 9:20:26 PM PST by sanjoaquinvalley (Long time lady lurker.)
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To: sanjoaquinvalley; Slings and Arrows; tubebender
There’s an episode of wings where Robert Culp plays a wild and whacky ex-astronaut named Ace Galvin and at the end of the episode and he and this dumb kid are playing a game called “Blastoff” which is basically take a swig of whisky, scream BLASTOFF!!!and ram your head through the sheetrock.

We had a game like that in San Diego. Naturally, I don't remember the name of the game, but it had tequila instead of whiskey, and sand instead of sheetrock. And I don't remember what we yelled. Or why. Great game.

43 posted on 01/02/2010 9:37:25 PM PST by glock rocks (Wait, what?)
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To: Telepathic Intruder
It might have been velociraptors, which would make it somewhere around the Cretaceous Period or something.

Now, I don't want to say Helen Thomas is old or anything, but she gets....

44 posted on 01/02/2010 9:40:37 PM PST by Erasmus (She was a BBC newsreader, marrying above her station.)
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To: Erasmus
Now, I don't want to say Helen Thomas is old or anything

Don't make me destroy you
45 posted on 01/02/2010 10:03:24 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder (The right thing is not always the popular thing)
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To: glock rocks; SouthTexas
A little more practice and this dud could Qualify for the 2010 Darwin award...
46 posted on 01/02/2010 10:10:23 PM PST by tubebender (Some minds are like concrete Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set...)
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To: tubebender

He’s pretty good though so I don’t think it will be anytime soon. 274’ is a new record ya know.


47 posted on 01/02/2010 10:49:41 PM PST by SouthTexas (Exterminate the rats!)
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To: Telepathic Intruder

Idi Amin fed many thousands to the crocs in Africa. He was known as the Butcher of Uganda.


48 posted on 01/02/2010 10:58:15 PM PST by GGpaX4DumpedTea (I am a tea party descendant - steeped in the Constitutional legacy handed down by the Founders)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I’ve been thinking that the panty bomber should win - if the burns were as extensive as they sound, he’ll never father a child.


49 posted on 01/02/2010 11:01:30 PM PST by hocndoc (http://www.LifeEthics.org (I've got a mustard seed and I'm not afraid to use it.))
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To: Telepathic Intruder

Piranha are South American, aren’t they?


50 posted on 01/03/2010 6:12:38 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (I voted Republican, no Conservative was on the ballot.)
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