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Swine vs. Avian: FIGHT!

Posted on 02/23/2010 7:32:54 AM PST by JoeProBono

All the animal-inspired influenzas that have been cropping up recently bring to mind many important questions. Which flu strain will cause the next pandemic? Should I invest in at least a dozen N95 respirators for each person in my household? Is leaving my dorm room a bad idea? But the most pressing question is clearly the following: if a pig and a bird challenged one another in a cage match, who would emerge victorious? Let’s examine the strengths and weaknesses of each opponent so that we can make an informed decision.

Pig’s strengths:

Brain larger than bird’s Can bribe opponent with truffles Fights dirty Who would ever want to hurt Wilbur? Pig’s weaknesses:

Contrary to speculation in children’s literature, can’t fly Kung fu moves hampered by girth Animal Farm doesn’t actually reflect world order Bird’s strengths:

Hardened by migratory trials, so empathy for pig unlikely to interfere with Mortal Kombat-style quest to “Finish him!” Hollow bones introduce potential for Wolverine-like transformation into super-avian creature Not too smart; disinclined to overanalyze Always able to take the shortest route between two points Bird’s weaknesses:

Judgment possibly clouded by carbon monoxide inhalation during stint in mines Constantly vulnerable to house cat predation Might get distracted while offering hospitality in the form of crackers Descendant of dinosaurs…we all know how that turned out The victor? Time will tell.

TOPICS: Outdoors; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: birds; eagle; flu; h1n1; pig

1 posted on 02/23/2010 7:32:54 AM PST by JoeProBono
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To: JoeProBono

Has anybody in the media apologized for pushing the H1N1 hysteria and fear? Has anybody acknowledged that they were wrong?

2 posted on 02/23/2010 7:37:59 AM PST by all the best
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To: all the best

In answer to your question: NO!
Obama has not lifted the National State of Emergency for this scam. Why not? Why is no one asking this question of the Glorious O?

3 posted on 02/23/2010 8:07:11 AM PST by Sioux-san
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